I need some advice: co-worker going away gift UPDATE About This Page:

[RobinKay6573]

My manager at my PT job is relocating to another state with her b/f. My other co-workers are all friends, they hang out together and go on trips together...etc. They are all in their mid to early 20s and very "high schoolish" (ie gossipy and lazy). One of the girls went out and bought the manager a $100 gift certificate to a store and AFTER the purchase was made she went around and asked everyone to contribute $10. At the time I didn't have $10 to just give out (I was honestly hoping she would forget). I told her I would let her know after I got paid (yesterday) if I had the cash to spare. That didn't stop her from asking me twice before my payday I work tomorrow and I am sure I will be approached again (if I don't get a phone call tonight).

What would you do? I don't like the girl, I don't really think she did a great job and I wasn't ask how much I could afford before the gift was purchased (not that I CAN'T afford it but I could think of better things to spend $10 on). My boss (the owner) has now gotten involved (something I honestly think she has NO place doing) and actually yelled at another co-worker of mine for not contributing to this "gift" fund.

I am almost tempted to stiff them and send a check for $10 to the Humane Society in her name! I don't want to create any friction but I really don't want to be forced to contribute money to a co-worker gift. Should I just fork over the cash and tell her it was rude to assume that everyone would agree to such an extravagant gift!

please

[barries5199]

That's a tough one, Robin. I totally agree with you that people should not be expected to contribute to a gift after the fact. The only thing that would make me give the money is knowing that if you don't, you'll have to deal with the friction in the workplace from your co-workers. Most likely they would give you grief about it for a while, but then it would die down. Boy, that's a toughie.

I guess in the end, I would say give them the money (or $5 and say that's all you can afford right now), but make a point that it would be best if future gift-giving was discussed before the purchase is made.

Good luck.

[cjadkins]

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I guess in the end, I would say give them the money (or $5 and say that's all you can afford right now), but make a point that it would be best if future gift-giving was discussed before the purchase is made.

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I'd give her the $5 and above comment. Really some people are just sooooo rude!

[krisk11]

If you are going to have to continue to work with these people I say pay the $10 and chalk it up to working with idiots. You can tell them that next time you expect to be consulted before any financial decisions are made.

[BritDisFan]

Hmmmm Robin, that's a difficult one. I too don't feel comfortable giving money for gifts for people I don't actually like but in this instance if I were in your shoes I would give the money, I wouldn't really like doing it but I think it might cause friction.

I think it was very rude of your colleague to expect everyone to contribute and she most certainly should have asked everyone first. Hopefully she will ask in future.

Karen

[Dee161]

I would probably give the $10. I don't like to cause alot of friction. But, I would probably tell them that in the future to check with me before they assumed I would contribute to the gift. That way next time I would not have any trouble telling them "NO".

I think your co-worker was very wrong to buy the gift certificate and asume that everyone would re-imburse her.

[KrisLuvsDisney]

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I would probably give the $10. I don't like to cause alot of friction. But, I would probably tell them that in the future to check with me before they assumed I would contribute to the gift. That way next time I would not have any trouble telling them "NO".


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I totally agree...I would let them know next I won't be in the giving spirit if I am not asked!

[Colexis Mom]

Good luck Robin I'd just chalk it up as gone, and pay the money! Let them know to ask you though the next time

[GoofyMom]

I think I would just pay it too, but I would let the girl know that I would've appreciated being asked if that was ok with me before just being EXPECTED to fork over the moolah. Hopefully she would get the message.

[loobyoxlip]

I agree with the others, I would probably just pay it, too, since you have to continue working with those other people.

[iamgrumpy]

for the situation, and i would just pay and make sure they know next time you won't be able to contribute if they don't ask before buying something!
Amy

[chezp]

I'm with everyone else on this - hopefully if you make it clear that you expect to be asked before anything like this happens again, you won't be put in this situation again.

[HiddenMickey]

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for the situation, and i would just pay and make sure they know next time you won't be able to contribute if they don't ask before buying something!
Amy

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I agree with this. Be strong!

[RobinKay6573]

Thanks guys!

I gave her a check today and let her know that next time she should pass an envelope around and let everyone contribute what they can afford. I told her assuming everyone wanted to and would pay the $10 was wrong. Then she snapped back at me saying, "I was just trying to do something nice." then she went on to explain the owner should have purchased the gift not her...blah blah blah. The she told me to take the check back that I didn't "have to" contribute. I just told her "I don't mind giving the money but I don't like being ordered to give money to a gift." Like I said these girls are very gossipy so I am sure it will be spread around that I am a horrible person that I didn't WANT to contribute to the gift. She was probably on the phone with the owner as soon as I left the building. Honestly I really don't care...I do my job and I am one of the most valuable employees there so I have nothing to worry about!

[iamgrumpy]

Robin Good for you at least standing up for next time something like this happens...I understand the whole gossipy thing...my work is just a rumor gossip mill...well glad this worked out.

Amy