Please, I could use some pixies - UPDATED 9/5 in post #36 About This Page:

[NanaTink]

I've gone back and forth about posting, but feel I need to get this out before I explode. I have nobody I can talk to right now.

Now that I've decided to post, I can't seem to get started. I guess the beginning is the best place.

As you may know or not, my DH had a heart attack last July. It was an 'early warning' type and he luckily had no damage to the heart. They placed 3 stents and we moved on. This is his second such attack, the first being in 2003 at the age of 45.

My DH's PSA numbers have been running a little above normal for a bit and he was referred to Urology in January for further evaluation. After an exam, the urologist could not locate any troubling area, but felt a biopsy was in order. This was out of the question because of the stents and the medication he had to be on for a year would be dangerous. So we waited. While we waited we convinced ourselves it wasn't anything, his numbers were high, but still in the range for his age, top end, but still inside, the urologist hadn't located anything..blah blah. You see where this is going don't you?

On July 31, my 60 year old DH came off his medication for blood clots and had the biopsy on the 24th of August. On Thursday, he got a phone call. Out of the 12 biopsies they took, one came back positive. My world has once again tipped on its axis. My darling husband has cancer.


On Wednesday we go back to the Doctor and look at our choices. There are 4.
1. Active surveillance, where they watch his numbers and continue with exams.
2. Radiation therapy where they insert radioactive 'seeds' into the location.
3. Radiation where he goes in every day for 8 weeks and is irradiated.
4. Prostatectomy.

It's all going to depend on his numbers. What the grade of the malignancy, the type, etc. so we don't know what is what right now. He got the feeling that the doctor is leaning to 1, but I don't know if that is what he's wanting to hear, or if that's truly the way she's leaning. He did say that he said that 4 sounded awful radical and she agreed it probably was not needed in his case. of 2 and 3, 2 is easier to do and one and done type thing, but he can't be around small children for a certain period of time (what that is we don't know---part of Wednesday's meeting) and we have four small grandkids ages 11 1/2 to 6. It would kill him to not be able to see them. 3 is a long commitment of time away from work, the side effects are a little more severe, but doesn't prohibit him from the grands. 1 is the best option, but it's still there, lurking. 2 and 3 have a 95% cure rate, but brings other issues with it. 4 I think is off the table at this point.

Sorry if this is TMI, or boring or everything, but I needed to put it out in the cosmos, Nobody knows yet, not his mom, our boys, anybody. Until we get more info, not telling anyone because we can't answer questions. But it's been laying heavy on my heart and I just need to scream...so thanks for listening to me scream.

[JoanneS]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I don't have any advice, I just want to lend some support. We are here when you need us. Post as much as you need. : pixie:

[MichaelF]

I thought if cancer was detected that a prostatectomy was the best option? Of course it depends on age, health, etc. I had a scare a couple years ago and talked to a few people that had it done. They said it wasn't pleasant but there are worse things. Only your husband can make the decision but make sure he gets all info to make the best one.

[Her Dotness]

I know from my experience how very difficult this wait time is until you both get a better sense of which may be the best option.

Odd though it may seem, there can be relief in knowledge.

I wish you both strength, resilience and a better outcome than you currently fear.

[chezp]

Oh my goodness, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, but I do hope setting it out here has helped you reduce that need to scream.

Lots of coming for both of you!

[MinnieMary]

[lovewdw2]

I hope that something Good comes out of the conversation this Wednesday......Scream all you want!!!!

[Huntermom]

Remember that is general prostate cancer is very slow growing, thus the wait and see option. I remember years ago reading most autopsies showed prostate cancer, although the men had died from other causes.

As someone with a heart condition (I had a widow maker in 2012), I am a bit surprised your husband was only on anticoagulants for a year. The current recommendation is a minimum of 30 months. Were either of his attacks caused by a clot?

Also I am assuming he is keeping careful watch on his cholesterol? As you may have been told, he is much more likely to die of heart trouble than prostate cancer.


: pixie: ixie:

[luvnwdwgal]

My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2016 at the age of 61 and he ended up going with the prostatectomy. His surgery went very well and he went home the next day. Recovery was as expected and he has had no complications. He has to have his PSA checked every 6 months for 5 years and if all is well then just once a year for the rest of his life. His numbers have been very good. My thoughts and prayers are with you both now as you decide which procedure to go with.

[notjustamom]

Keeping you both in my thoughts and sending positive pixies your way.

[NanaTink]

Originally Posted by MichaelF

I thought if cancer was detected that a prostatectomy was the best option? Of course it depends on age, health, etc. I had a scare a couple years ago and talked to a few people that had it done. They said it wasn't pleasant but there are worse things. Only your husband can make the decision but make sure he gets all info to make the best one.

Not necessarily, it depends on a variety of factors from what I understand. It depends on the type of cancer i.e. fast growing vs slow growing, the stage 1,2, 3, or 4, and other factors. That's all the things we will find out more on Wednesday. The urologist seemed to think that a prostatectomy was a radical step in his case and probably not necessary.

[NanaTink]

Originally Posted by Huntermom

Remember that is general prostate cancer is very slow growing, thus the wait and see option. I remember years ago reading most autopsies showed prostate cancer, although the men had died from other causes.

As someone with a heart condition (I had a widow maker in 2012), I am a bit surprised your husband was only on anticoagulants for a year. The current recommendation is a minimum of 30 months. Were either of his attacks caused by a clot?

Also I am assuming he is keeping careful watch on his cholesterol? As you may have been told, he is much more likely to die of heart trouble than prostate cancer.


: pixie: ixie:

Yes we do have this information and know about the fact that most men show some prostate cancer during autopsy. The urologist told us this in January. This is one of the factors to look at as well.

His heart attacks were not caused by clots. He had narrowing of the arteries and yes, he does watch his cholesterol, exercises, and takes cholesterol meds, but his cholesterol is very stubborn and he may be one of those people that have a very high cholesterol naturally.

Standard time for a stent patient to be on Brilinta is one year.

[NanaTink]

Originally Posted by luvnwdwgal

My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2016 at the age of 61 and he ended up going with the prostatectomy. His surgery went very well and he went home the next day. Recovery was as expected and he has had no complications. He has to have his PSA checked every 6 months for 5 years and if all is well then just once a year for the rest of his life. His numbers have been very good. My thoughts and prayers are with you both now as you decide which procedure to go with.

I've kind of thought that's the way to go, but he's not so sure. I guess Wednesday will be the day. I'm not sure how much of the watchful waiting I can handle.

[Huntermom]

Many prayers and pixies for a good conversation on Wednesday. I notice you were in Northern Virginia. If you still are not sure after your appointment, if you are not already at Johns Hopkins, I would get a second opinion there or at one of the several excellent hospitals in DC.
While a second opinion may not differ, it can drastically improve your comfort to hear the same thing.

[Pris]

Loads of to you both. Here's hoping your Wednesday meeting brings some answers to you both. The unknown is always the worst. Once you have more information, you will begin to feel better as you make plans and move forward.