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Cranky old lady and kicking kid on plane-suggestions?
I just flew back from Houston with a child kicking the back of my seat for 3.5 hours. The mother never said anything. Should I have? I kept waiting for her to suggest her daughter try to keep her feet still but she never did.
What do you do in such circumstances? Ignore, say something, bring it to the attention of the flight attendant?
It was a pretty empty flight and I thought about letting the flight attendant know I was changing my dseat to avoid the kick (I had a row to myself)
I am going to Orlando in two weeks and do not want to be kicked all the way again.
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What I would do is turn around and smile at the child and make some conversation (easy, as I like kids in general--the nice ones, anyway) with the child, and compliment something about him/her to the mom. Then I'd say something...sincerely and nicely, with a smile...like "I bet you didn't know that it hurts when you kick my seat back. Could I ask you not to do that, pretty please?"
If you're really worried that this might happen, it couldn't hurt to bring along some stickers...Frozen ones are usually going to be good...ask the parent if it's okay to give it to the kid, and do that before making your request.
If you approach this in a friendly manner, giving them the benefit of the doubt after establishing yourself as a nice person, good people will stop. If that didn't work, I would definitely call the flight attendant and ask for some help.
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Since you had space next to you, I would have moved.
If I didn't have that option, I would definitely have turned around and said something to the mother and child. I can't stand more than a few minutes of that kind of behavior. If it continues....then I have to do something or I'll get stressed.
Thanks for the suggestion Ginger. I'll be prepared for my Disney trip. Pris, I thought of moving over but I liked my window seat and didn't want to have to move everything. I really thought the mother would say something. I have had toddlers kick and someone always tries to stop them. This was a 5-6 year old I would guess.
Hidden Mickey, I was stressed and tired (it was a 6-10 pm flight). I was enjoying resting my head against the window and didn't want to move. I will be flying with DD to Disney so may not have the option of changing seats. I fly a fair amount (once a month) and never undo my seat belt. It was a rougher than usual flight too.
Wow...sorry you had that happen. I can't stand it when my own very leggy child kicks my seat even once. I definitely think Ginger said it best. Conversing with the child then making the request would definitely be my recommendation too. However, I will definitely say Ginger nailed it with the sticker idea. We use them for everything in the house. Now after reading her idea I'm moving some to my car for that same positive reinforcement. Hope your next flight is quieter.
I just flew back from Houston with a child kicking the back of my seat for 3.5 hours. The mother never said anything. Should I have? I kept waiting for her to suggest her daughter try to keep her feet still but she never did.
Maybe the mother had no idea that you could even feel it - or thought your silence meant you didn't mind?
Quote:
What do you do in such circumstances? Ignore, say something, bring it to the attention of the flight attendant?
My first step would be to turn around, and in a polite and friendly tone ask the parent / guardian / chaperone to explain to their kid why kicking the chair ahead of you is impolite.
My second step, if that produced no / insufficient results, would be to turn around and be ... well, still polite, but less friendly and more firm.
The third step would be to summon a flight attendant, explain that I'd addressed the issue with the parent twice already, and ask if they (or I, if not travelling with a group) could be moved to a different seat.
The fourth step, if all of the above did not produce results, would be to lodge a formal complaint with customer service one back on the ground. At the VERY least, you might get a coupon or similar (or bonus miles on your frequent flier card, if any) to compensate you for the unpleasant flight.
I doubt the mother was unaware of the child's kicking unless she was sleeping. I have flown many, many times with my own kids. Even if they accidently kick only once, as a parent you are pretty aware of it.
I was feeling tired and cranky (ended up sick once I was home) and so decided I wasn't in the best frame of mind to intervene. I am taking Ginger's suggestion and bringing stickers to Orlando (and we are on SWA so it's easier to avoid a child in the seat behind you,)
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I say something. I have had that happen to me and I just turned around and nicely asked for them to stop kicking the seat. If they would have continued to do it then I would have called the flight attendant over. You should not have to put up with that. Shame on that Mom. I have always made sure my kids did not do that.
I would definitely NOT attempt bribing the kid into behaving properly by means of stickers, because giving the kid something reinforces the bad behavior. Sorry, Ginger, but I heartily disagree that this will produce the desired result. The kid may well put two and two together and figure that's how to get more stickers.
Now, if you want to carry stickers and then offer them later to reward the child's having stopped kicking your seatback, that is a better idea, IMO.
In general, I think feonag's suggested approach much the better one.
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Dot, I had decided to pick up some of those $1. sticker./activity books. And actually thought of offering it to the mom to help her with her child who was obviously bored.
I think it is a parenting issue and many parents don't seem to want to take on an active role while on vacation. And I was tired and cranky myself and didn't feel like confronting the mother. But in the future, I may.
Thanks for all the suggestions. And now I know I was not just feeling tired and cranky. Hours of seat kicking will bring out the crankiness, too.
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Last edited by Huntermom; 04-09-2015 at 06:03 PM..
I have had seat kickers behind me before. not all of them were even kids -- adults can do it too.
Each time, I turned around and politely asked the offender (child or adult) to please stop kicking my seat. In some instances the parents were mortified, apologetic, and I don't think actually knew the kid was doing it.
In a couple instances the kicker kept doing it, though there was a brief pause. I then turned around again and asked again . they stopped after that.
I wouldn't offer anything either. I'd simply ask them to stop, nicely the first time and more firmly a second time. If it gets to the third time, I'm calling the flight attendant. There's no excuse not to parent - I don't care if you're on vacation or not. If you're the parent - its a 24/7 job. And I'm a single mom, so I've got the job 24/7/365 day out of the year - no matter how tired I am, no matter whether I'm sick or not - that's what I signed up for.
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Originally Posted by Her Dotness
I would definitely NOT attempt bribing the kid into behaving properly by means of stickers, because giving the kid something reinforces the bad behavior. Sorry, Ginger, but I heartily disagree that this will produce the desired result. The kid may well put two and two together and figure that's how to get more stickers.
Now, if you want to carry stickers and then offer them later to reward the child's having stopped kicking your seatback, that is a better idea, IMO.
In general, I think feonag's suggested approach much the better one.
Oh, Dot, the sticker is not a bribe, though I guess I can see how it could look that way. My main point is to be seen as a friendly person to start with, and stickers are a good way to win friendship...not dependent upon the cessation of kicking.
I have more than 20 years' experience as a Girl Scout & Boy Scout leader, about 15 years as a tutor (during which I have given out hundreds of stickers), and a couple of years student & substitute teaching and in general get along very well with lots of kids, big & little, and always prefer the honey approach over the vinegar.
My original suggestion is to be friendly, and then let them know that seat-kicking hurts (as if they had no idea). I added the sticker as a way to cement your good intentions; that should be completely separate from the seat-kicking request, so they don't see it as a reward--I see how a really manipulative kid could get that impression!
I seem to recall that you're a retired teacher, Dot, so you probably perfected The Look years ago, and can quell unwanted behavior in a trice with a glance!
Sadly, these suggestions might not work as well with a man as with a woman, as you always have the worry of looking like a molester.
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) with the child, and compliment something about him/her to the mom. Then I'd say something...sincerely and nicely, with a smile...like "I bet you didn't know that it hurts when you kick my seat back. Could I ask you not to do that, pretty please?"
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