Parent of the year candidates: A bit of venting About This Page:

[Charlie97]

For those not familiar with me, I am in law enforcement, and have been in this career since I was 21. Throughout the years, I have encountered several things on the job that really irritate me, none more so than when it deals with kids.

This past Monday my partner worked a crash involving a child that was used as an airbag. Harsh and disturbing as it may sound, but yes, a mother had her child sitting on her lap and the vehicle she was in ran a red light and struck 2 other vehicles that were crossing the intersection. The woman's airbag deployed, which struck the 2 year old child and damaged her nose to the point where she was hospitalized for a few days. During an interview with mom, she said that her child hates being in the car seat so she doesn't place her in there just to keep her quiet. When the car seat was checked, it was not secured properly; as a matter of fact it was not secured at all. We took photos of it and were in shock to see that it was brand new. It was manufactured 2 years ago and still had the tags on it. In other words, this lady has had this seat for the last 2 years and has never used it.

Fast forward to today 9:20am. Here in S. Texas the outside temperature is 82 degrees. The ambient temp inside a car is roughly 109 degrees (windows up). My partner is patrolling a parking lot to a shopping district and gets waved down in reference to a child left alone inside a car. He finds the car and sees that there are three (3) kids inside aged 7, 2, and 1. The car is on but the A/C cut off somehow. In speaking to the 7yr old, we identify her father and have the department stores call out his name on the intercoms. About 4 minutes later a man comes outside and asks what the problem is. Seriously???? We tell him about the kids being left in the car and how it is against the law in Texas. His first reaction is to get after the 7 year old because she knows the A/C cuts off and was taught how to reset it to get it going again...but she didn't reset it. He begins giving us a sob story, but the decision from a supervisor is to take him with us. I tell my partner let's do it over by my unit so the kids do not see, and he agrees with me.

We then tell dear 'ole dad to call his wife to come get the kids because he will be placed under arrest for the offense of leaving the child unattended in the vehicle. Dad gets on the phone, contacts his wife, and then hangs up. His next move, it's a doozie. He begins talking to his kids loudly and tells them that we are going to arrest him. We are arresting him because he loves them. The 7 year old starts yelling and crying for him, and he continues telling her they just don't want me to love you. He then walks over to me and calmly asks what the process is. Oh this guy is good. My partner then meets with an investigator, who makes the decision to just file the offense report and they will draft up a warrant for his arrest later. My partner agrees and waits for mom to arrive so that she can drive the car away because dad has not license to drive a car.

Sorry, but I have no sympathy for shallow people (I'm being very nice here, because we are G rated on this forum). People need to understand that in this field, their actions not only affect themselves and their families; they affect us as well. Three years ago, I shattered a window at 11:00am in the dead of summer because there was a child strapped into his car seat, sweating, and gasping for breath. I will never forget those eyes looking into mine as I pulled him out of the car seat. FD estimated the ambient temp inside that car was 119 degrees +. Guess where mom was???? Passed out upstairs. She did not remember strapping her 1 year old son in the car as she left the party at 5am. To top it off, it was his birthday.

Sorry, I just had to let this out and figured you all would be the ones to take the tip of this anger that builds up in a lot of us in this field. But we are the bad guys out there. Aren't we??? I will never understand people.

Take care you all, and be careful out there.

[HiddenMickey]

Gosh, I think you guys should have taken that guy in right then and there. He was a piece of work.

What a day you had.

[oldmom]

bless you. in my family, i have a cousin (homicide detective), cousin (reserve deputy sheriff), nephew (highway patrol) and a bunch of social workers. I truly don't know how you all do this work day after day. but i'm glad you do.

[POOKIE81]

This reminds me of that famous scene from the movie "Parenthood". Where Keanu Reeves characters Tod says says to the Mother,

"You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming a%$#& be a father"

I don't think I could work in your line of work. I know it's a job that needs to be done, but I don't think I could stomach it. God bless ya'll that do!

[Cam22]

Thank goodness you guys are out there every day!

[DisneyFanAnn]

1) Thank you and 2) Thank you for venting -- you HAVE to get that out and since you are a professional you choose to do it in the right format every time.

I also am one of the people who will call the police every single time I see a child and/or an animal in the car unattended -- the heat inside a car is not "ok" for just a few minutes. There have been times that I was tempted to break the car window myself but I know there are people like you out there so I will always call you.

and, SERIOUSLY, what a "SHALLOW" person he is -- I just have to maintain my belief in karma and hope his children don't suffer waiting for it to catch up with him.

Thank you again -- and always always vent to us.

[notjustamom]

Never ceases to amaze, does it? My DH has been n law enforcement since he was 20 and just hit his 28th year. He had a woman once who called for a "sick" child. The baby had been in bed with her and her boyfriend, one of then rolled onto the baby during the night. When DH arrived she looked at him and said "fix it" referring to her baby. "I have to go to work".

[Charlie97]

Originally Posted by HiddenMickey

Gosh, I think you guys should have taken that guy in right then and there. He was a piece of work.

What a day you had.

I was all for taking him in, given the number of incidents that we have had like that. And believe me, We have had a lot of them. If we get called out to scenes like this, and the doors are locked. We break open the windows no questions asked. And then we charge them for the offense. I don't know why CID didn't want him brought in.

Originally Posted by oldmom

bless you. in my family, i have a cousin (homicide detective), cousin (reserve deputy sheriff), nephew (highway patrol) and a bunch of social workers. I truly don't know how you all do this work day after day. but i'm glad you do.

I don't know how I do it either. I really feel for my DGF because she has to deal with the aftermath of my day. Normally I'm good about leaving it all at work, but there are some cases where man 'o man, you just can't shake it.

Originally Posted by POOKIE81

This reminds me of that famous scene from the movie "Parenthood". Where Keanu Reeves characters Tod says says to the Mother,

"You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming a%$#& be a father"

I don't think I could work in your line of work. I know it's a job that needs to be done, but I don't think I could stomach it. God bless ya'll that do!

That was a funny movie. I remember that part, and I remember laughing about it back then. But in all honesty, it does make sense. And thank you for your blessing.

Originally Posted by Cam22

Thank goodness you guys are out there every day!

Thank you for the pixies. Lord knows we needs lots of that sometimes.

Originally Posted by DisneyFanAnn

1) Thank you and 2) Thank you for venting -- you HAVE to get that out and since you are a professional you choose to do it in the right format every time.

I also am one of the people who will call the police every single time I see a child and/or an animal in the car unattended -- the heat inside a car is not "ok" for just a few minutes. There have been times that I was tempted to break the car window myself but I know there are people like you out there so I will always call you.

and, SERIOUSLY, what a "SHALLOW" person he is -- I just have to maintain my belief in karma and hope his children don't suffer waiting for it to catch up with him.

Thank you again -- and always always vent to us.

It was a shock to hear him say that. My partner didn't hear him say that so he didn't believe me when I told him. I played my unit camera recording back for him, and he was in disbelief that the man would actually tell his kids this.

Originally Posted by notjustamom

Never ceases to amaze, does it? My DH has been n law enforcement since he was 20 and just hit his 28th year. He had a woman once who called for a "sick" child. The baby had been in bed with her and her boyfriend, one of then rolled onto the baby during the night. When DH arrived she looked at him and said "fix it" referring to her baby. "I have to go to work".

Oh that is just sad. There was a case like that down here. An obese woman rolled over a child (her 4 month old nephew) and was charged involuntary manslaughter. She was found guilty of that and was given a restriction that she could not be alone with children. 8 months later, guess what happened. Her probation officer found her alone with a 2 year old child.


Stay safe everyone and be careful out there.

[Huntermom]

I am a social worker turned lawyer and work with lots of aprents who are charged with neglect and abuse. Many of them were never parented and have no clue what to do, add in poverty, a lack of education, maybe some Domestic violence or substance abuse and you have neglect.

We need to work with young kids (like 5 year olds) to teach them how to care for others, to be thoughtful and kind and have interests to keep their minds busy while they grow up so they don't have babies when they are still children.

I think it is important to talk about these things, Maybe one of these stories will be heard by a young person and they will remember what can happen to a child if they screw up. Talking about this stuff is important. Pretending it doesn't happen hurts kids even more.

[Roxie2006]

I just would like to say you do an important job everyday. One of my family members is in law enforcement. We appreciate all you do by keeping our towns safe. I could not do your job, because I would really want to hurt somebody who hurts a child!!!! So "Thank You" for your compassion and a job well done!!!

[joelsmom]

I would just like to say "thank you" for what you do. It's an often thankless job, and people can be just terrible to you. My heart goes out to those children. Shame on the father (I almost don't want to call him that) for creating such a sad, disturbing situation. And the mom obviously constantly refusing to buckle in her child...i just don't know what to say about such carelessness. I don't know how she can say she cares for her baby! Bless you for what you do every day.

[Pax]

I wish there was a way to license procreation (that wouldn't open up a whole, gigantic new cn of worms) so we could make people pass competency tests, every 3 years, in order to be parents.

[Luvsun]

I too would like to say Thank You to you for what you do!
I would find it very difficult to see and do what you do every day!

[MichaelF]

Its extremely important to get the car seats properly secured. In our area just a few days ago there was a rollover crash on the highway. A four year was killed when she and her car seat were ejected from the vehicle. At times we get "do-overs" in life but unfortunately this family will never get that chance. Make sure your car seats are secured in your vehicles!

[Teresa]

Thank you, Carlos and your friend for doing the job you do. Here near Indy, we were reminded just yesterday of how much you all risk to keep others safe - a police officer was shot down and killed while attempting to rescue a woman who was being held hostage (and abused) and her infant. He was wearing his vest, but those only cover so much.
Car seats need to be used correctly to be of any use. And even then, they are not always the answer - our 4 year old niece died in her car seat, in an accident. The seat was installed correctly and she was fastened into it perfectly (straps neither too loose nor too tight) - I asked the sheriff who responded. Even after K's death, we still used car seats for our kids, because we knew the chance for them to do good outweighed the chance it wouldn't help (and in K's case, contributed to her death).

Yes, you can't make others be great parents, but that's what makes those good parents awesome!