Help with Wording [for invitation to family to join vacation at their expense]?? About This Page:

[EmilyJ]

This last year has been very difficult. After 30 weeks on bedrest, we have a beautiful, healthy baby girl. (she is now 4 months) She is our caboose, as our next oldest will be 9 in January.

Anyway, we had to move in with my Mom because we took a paycut that equals around 80,000 due to a job loss. Anyway, we have almost no debt. Our cars are almost paid off and we have never really been big into credit cards ect.

My husband works very hard and just got a MAJOR promotion, that will put us back to where we were before the job loss. For the baby's second birthday, we want to go to DisneyWorld (read, Mom wants to go to Disneyworld) Anyway, because I am planning it for her birthday, I thought we would see if some family members want to come. We have so many that always say they want to go, they wish they could ect but no one follows through. I mentioned it to my Mom, and she warned me to be careful with the wording, because typically, for birthday parties, the host pays the expense, and she worries that some family members will assume we are footing the bill. There is no way on Gods green earth we can pay for people to come along (though we will likely pay for my Mom, as we are living in her house for very little expense and she is helping out a TON)

I dont want to sound rude, but I also want to let people know we are opening it up as an extended family vacation, but each family must pay their own way. I want to let people know soon, so they can start saving now, but Im not sure how to do it without either assumptions or sounding impolite.

I should add that I have 29 nieces and nephews, so short of the lottery, even if we saved for 10 years, we couldnt afford to take everyone.

[sheldoal]

I'd love for those of you who can find it in your budget to join us at WDW the week/days of _______ for a family gathering. If you can only afford to come for a few days, that's great too! I realize it can be an expensive trip, but I'd love to see you all there. *Makes it clear they will be finding it in "their budgets" and not yours.

Maybe you could add a "quick and dirty" page of info on basic hotel rates, ticket rates, car rental (or let 'em know about Magical Express), links to relevant sites when planning trip, etc. That would give them an idea on how much it might cost. It also makes it glaringly obvious that you aren't paying for it.

Of course, I don't think it's impolite to say "pay-your-own-way" family gathering at WDW. If someone really wants to take offense, do you really want that person on vacation with you? They're being rude, not you. You're trying to include your extended family. I think that's sweet. I, on the other hand, want no one else on my trips but my husband. LOL. I have nephews in Florida, and I don't even tell them I'm coming down until I've already returned home. I just paid x-amount of money. I want to spend all my time at Disney, not Cocoa.

Hope you can figure out a way to let relatives know without any of them taking offense. Sometimes family can be a real pain.

[shnewell]

Originally Posted by sheldoal

I'd love for those of you who can find it in your budget to join us at WDW the week/days of _______ for a family gathering. If you can only afford to come for a few days, that's great too!

Beautifully written! What I've done previously when inviting other family members is to add something like, "For our family of four, we've previously paid approximately $____ for a trip like this. We are already starting to save up for this trip, and I wanted to give you plenty of advance notice so that you can start saving, too, if you're interested in joining us."

[SW+7]

Both of those recommendations are great! They're to the point and nothing is left to the imagination! I would include a guesstimate for those who have never been as to how much it may cost, it's not an inexpensive vacation.
Before you go forward with this invitation think long and hard as to who will probably take you up on this and ask yourself, can I spend a week with them? Also, sometimes when you have too many people on a trip it gets to be too much togetherness and ground rules have to be set in place on the first day.
Good luck, glad things are looking up for you and I hope this trip goes well! SW+7

[aliceinwdw]

I have to agree that these suggestions are spot on! Nice job!

Also, with what SW+7 mentioned, I too think you should be sure you will want to actually vacation with those you intend on inviting and, if there's anyone you would exclude (), how that will bode with them and the rest of the family -- because that is a lot of family! LOL Makes my small one look even tinier! But with the planning and congrats on the promotion and "caboose!"

[PixieMichele]

P.Y.O.T. "Pay Your Own Trip". haha just kidding. I agree, it's a delicate situation but any of those options should make it clear your intentions are for the family to feel welcome to come and celebrate with you but at their own expense.
I think providing tentative pricing info is a good idea because that will enforce the idea that each family is paying their own way as well as give them an idea of what they're looking at price wise if they've never been. Many people think going to Disney means staying concierge level at the Grand and they could never afford it, they don't realize there are so many options like the value resorts and value suites, etc. I would also include the value of a Disney vacation, i.e. the dining plan, transportation, extra magical hours, etc.

[dutchdisneyfamily]

You have some great suggestions there. I was thinking along the lines of what others said, that you would be willing to help them with their plans since you've had some experience, and help them get the most bang for their buck!

[Harrisonsmeme]

As another poster said, I think you should set ground rules up front. Such as how much togetherness and how much time for each family to have alone. Better to address this in the beginning.

[num1DVCfan]

Originally Posted by sheldoal

I'd love for those of you who can find it in your budget to join us at WDW the week/days of _______ for a family gathering.

Very well put! I agree with another poster on being cautious on who you invite. I love my family, but there are a few members that I can't tolerate for more than a few hours at a time!

[queen2]

All good ideas. Good Luck

Awesome getting you life back together

[CinderAbby]

We have so many that always say they want to go, they wish they could ect but no one follows through

If they really wanted to go, they WOULD follow through, and I don't think that your daughters birthday is going to be the impetus to get them to go - just my 2 cents.. Call me what you want but while I think you have the best intentions I just don't think it's going to end well. Good luck whatever you decide though

[Nani]

Just dropping you a note to say we'll be having an informal get together to celebrate ____ birthday with just cake and best wishes on _____ @ {local place}. We'll be having her big celebration at WDW. If you are able to arrange your vacation to be at WDW we'd love for you to join us for the birthday meal and with a little luck we hope to bump into you as you wander WDW.
You should make sure to get a copy of Passporter to help you plan your budget and your stay!

~~~~~~
This includes those who can't afford the trip, clearly says that you won't be attached at the hip and that it is their responsibility to pay for /organize their trip.

[Carousel96]

We've always presented it as "wouldn't it be fun if we all vacationed in the same place this year"
That said, we haven't gotten any takers. One BIL has daughters much older and the other BIL thinks that there's no point in going until the kids are 16 or so.

[mamasann]

Don't be surprised if you go thru all of this, and get nobody to join the vacation fun. We've got several relatives that constantly tell us it would be great to go when we're heading down to the world, but they've yet to book a trip with us, even when we give plenty of advance notice for planning and budgeting. We've learned actions speak way louder than words. But, I hope it all works out for you. I think it would be lots of fun!

[Coop]

I would probably be so bold as to say PYOT (pay your own trip) and also include a message that states something about "if you would like to assist with the cost of mom's ticket for her birthday present - all donations happily accepted".