As adults, how often do you see your parents? About This Page:

[heatherwillmom]

This is something that DH & I don't always agree on. Both his father & my mother are older. His mother & my father have both passed away even though my mother has remarried. His father is getting up there in years. He was several years older that MIL. My parents didn't have kids for a long time after getting married. They had my sister & I came along several years later. We live about 20 minutes from FIL & 30 minutes from my mother. We call FIL every other day & usually take him out to eat once a week. He is not the most fun person to be around. He is obsessed with death & talks about it all of the time. He keeps saying things like" I don't know why God has let me live so long", or "I guess I'll be dying soon." He is in pretty good health. He had some heart problems years ago but had surgery & is doing pretty good. He sees his regular doctor & cardiologist on a schedule. He has always been a pessimist. He always says things that aren't always the nicest to everyone & complains about everything. Like when we take him out to eat, we always let him choose the place to eat, yet he complains about the food, service, etc. He gets a free meal because we always pay. We don't see my mom too often although I talk to her on the phone a lot. My mom has always been kinda strange. She's a very self-centered person. Also, no one in the family likes her husband. He's a real jerk although she doesn't always seem to see that. Like after Thanksgiving dinner last year, he said that he wanted to go home & went & sat in the car leaving my mom to carry everything to the car. We have them over to eat for holidays, picnics, birthdays,etc. We go to her house occassionally. DH keeps insisting that we don't spend enough time with his dad. It's all I can do to get the kids (15 & 17) to see him as much as we do. It's so depressing. Think of it as spending a lot of time with Eeyore. When we call him every other day, he says a few things to me & the kids, but talks more with DH. It's kinda like he doesn't want to talk to us. I think we do Ok in calling every other day, & take him out to eat or invite him over for dinner weekly. We always pick him up so he doesn't have to drive

[oldmom]

sounds like he is depressed unless he was this way before his wife passed. my mom was an eeyore also. we went over every day and called also. not fun but i don't regret having been there so much to watch over her. i just wish i could have gotten her out to more social things so she would have had more friends. maybe she would have been happier

[jimmymac]

My folks live in Vermont (winter in Florida), so only 3-4 times a year. I call every week

[Sunshine Family]

Originally Posted by heatherwillmom

DH keeps insisting that we don't spend enough time with his dad. It's all I can do to get the kids (15 & 17) to see him as much as we do. It's so depressing.

I suggest that your DH visit more, but without you and the kids every time. That way your DH will be happier by visiting more, you'll have a break from Eeyore and it might make things better in the end.

[MichaelF]

Maybe once per month. I am not close to either of my parents and have never been so its not unusual to not see them for lenghts of time.

[krisk11]

Both of my parents are deceased (my dad died while I was in high school and my mom passed away last summer). I use to see my mom every week especially in the few years before she died. My dd was very close with her Gram and we drove her around and to all her errands at the end when she started having problems getting around. I still go to call her to tell her my latest news and then remember that I can't call her.

[DopeyGirl]

DH is in the military so we've never lived close to either of our parents. For the first (almost) 14 years of DH's Naval career, we were stationed on the East Coast and were a full day worth of flying from my parents and (at the closest) at least 12 hours' drive from DH's parents, so we only saw my parents maybe once a year (twice if they could make a trip out to see us) and DH's parents maybe twice a year (depending on his deployment schedule).

Now we're in WA . . . my parents are a 6 hour drive away in Oregon, so we see them every couple of months when one or the other of us can take a weekend trip down (or up, for them. ) I still call my mom every day . . . sometimes a couple of times, if I forgot to tell her something or need to tell her something else. DH's parents are in St. Louis so they are a bit further and we've only seen them once in the last year, but DH and the kids Skype with them once a week and they call at least once a week too.

[Connieq288]

We live right above my Inlaws so we see them all the time which the kids love right now especially my DD3. She loves her Papaw. Now my dad is a different story. My mom passed away in 2006 and they live in Florida and I live in NC. We go down at least once a year but I do have several brothers and sisters that live there in fact 2 of my sisters actually live with my dad so he doesnt get bored. In fact Im proud of him. He is going on a cruise with his brothers at age 72. He is Norwegian and they are going to Norway. He really is doing good.

[Ashli]

I see my parents usually twice a year, sometimes three times (always Christmas, and then sometimes at DS's spring break or in the summer). That said, I live 5 1/2 hrs driving away from them, and this is the closest I've lived to them since I went across the country for college at 17. So since I've lived away from their house, I've never really had the opportunity to see them on like a weekly basis. I'm sure a year or so ago and earlier I probably would have seen them often if we lived within an hour or so of each other. Last summer we had a bit of a falling out though, and while we still email often and talk occasionally, we are definitely not as close as we used to be.

We tend to see my IL's a little more often, but still not more than maybe 4 times a year. They live about 5 1/2 hrs away too, in the opposite direction of my parents. But they still live where DH and I went to high school/college, so many of our friends are still in that area too. We are often down there for weddings/new babies/etc., and we of course always see ILs when we are in the area.

[MichaelF]

Originally Posted by MichaelF

Maybe once per month. I am not close to either of my parents and have never been so its not unusual to not see them for lenghts of time.

Even though I don't see my parents often we do see my in-laws all the time. Sometimes it gets to me but then I hope I will see my kids that much when they are grown.

[lazanya]

I'm an only child and have a very close relationship with my parents. My parents lived close by me, 5 minutes away. Up until my mom passed away in Oct. 2008, I either saw my parents daily or checked in with them by phone daily. Especially when my mom was real sick at the end. When I was working part time during the week, my parents would watch my daughter.

Now it's just my dad. He still lives close to me. I still see him daily or about every other day. Or we'll call every other day to check in.

[revral]

I see my mom & stepdad once or maybe twice year as they live in Texas & I live in Washington (state) however I talk to my mom at least once a week. I see my dad about once a week since he lives about 15 miles from me & he owns the company I work for.

[CinderAbby]

Dad died in 2004 and I see mom everyday since we live in the same house. Lenny's entire family (mom, dad, bros and sis) we only see a couple of times a year. Lenny's the black sheep in the family and for whatever reason, none of them want anything to do with him so Abby and I have been painted with the same brush. I don't even refer to his parents as Abby's grandparents and Abby in 11 years has yet to call them anything (and they haven't even noticed that).

[Eeyoresmom]

My mom lives a 4 hour drive away. I make sure to see her once a month and call 2-4 times a week. I often take my daughter to see her for a long weekend without DH - that way he doesn't have to worry about taking time off from work.

DH talks to his parents much more than I do my mom, but we see them less often. They're slightly further away than my mom.

I don't think there would be anything wrong with your husband seeing his dad more often, and going without you.

[Minniemouse27]

My mom passed away in 1992. Dad is 3.5hrs away. If mom was still her I am pretty sure we would spend more time w/ him (them) but dad is a bit of a curmudgeon so we get about 2-3 visits a year w/ him. With noone to bug him about the "right" thing to do he just does what he wants!

On dh's side I have two sets of ILs (his parents both divorced and remarried before he was 4yo). FIL and stepMIL live about 1.5hrs away. We see them about 3-4x a year. StepMIL is busier now that she is retired (on every volunteer committee in a 50mile radius!) than before...plus they go away for the first 3-4 months of the year.

MIL & stepFIL live just south of WDW so we see them about once every other year when we visit WDW. We stayed w/ them the first trip w/ dd and then managed to stay at WDW after that (the kids are old enough now that we like to "immerse them in the magic"). MIL has made it up her once or twice on her own but they don't go out of their way to visit us (they used to live 2miles from where we live now...and moved to FL before dh and I were married).

I talk to my dad once a week, but dh talks to his parents sporadically.