Special Needs T-shirts About This Page:

[Tabitha34]

Not sure where to post this. I was wanting to find a t-shirt or two for my dd 5. Something that tells people she has special needs but something cute. We were out this weekend with our kids (something we don't do very often). We decided to take them out for pizza. Our ds had been asking to go out for pizza that day and we don't often go out unless we have someone to watch our dd or if we are going for fast food. Our dd just does not do good in restaurants or stores or... We took them out anyway hoping she would do good while eating pizza. We were getting the buffet so that she would not have to wait. This would have all worked out good if it were not for her new need to play with clips on high chairs. She loves to clip and unclip them. The problem this weekend was that she is really too big for a high chair now and the clip would not go around her. This made her mad and she got loud about it. We tried different things to make her happy and she was not screaming constantly she would just scream out in frustration on occasion. We went in the middle of the afternoon in hopes that there would not be a lot of people in the restaurant but there was more than we expected. We really didn't get too many stares from other customers (unless I just missed them) it was mostly from the wait staff. One server came over and asked us if we needed a booster instead. We fumbled around with how to explain she is mad at the straps and she can't sit in a booster because there is nothing holding her in. We should have just said she has special needs but we didn't. This brings me to the point of this thread. If we had a few cute little shirts for her to wear when we do go out then maybe people would be more understanding. This weekend, I ended up eating my food quickly and taking our dd to the car to sit and wait while dh and ds finished eating. We were getting too many stares from the wait staff and too often one of them would come over to our table like they wanted to say something about her behavior.
If anyone has any sites or stores they can chain stores they can suggest for shirts that would be great.

[mechurchlady]

Wait staff see lots of brats whose parents let them do anything and everything. Quietly explaining that the child is special needs will let them know that the child is really a sweet and good child on the inside. Maybe they could have made her a special magical belt to appease her. Magic can happen. Think about how wearing a shirt indicating special needs is any better than quietly talking with staff.

Cafe Press has lots of shirts for special needs and autism groups also have some nice shirts. In the meantime I leave you a big box of hugs. I am not an expert but there are lots of people who should be able to help you.

[Tigger71]

Please do not feel the need to label your child!

I own a restaurant and cannot tell you the number of times unruly kids are left to RUN around the place without a word of caution from their folks. The fact that your DD was seated and made a little noise is NOTHING...the fact that you stressed over it is alarming! Children make noise, they leave a mess but always their parents pay the bill so unless you didn't pay - DO NOT WORRY - the staff have probably seen it all before.

You and your family have just as much right to visit and ENJOY a meal in a restaurant as anyone else. Please do not put a label on her shirt. The rude staff or customer probably wouldn't take notice anyway!

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by Tabitha34

Not sure where to post this. I was wanting to find a t-shirt or two for my dd 5. Something that tells people she has special needs but something cute. We were out this weekend with our kids (something we don't do very often). We decided to take them out for pizza. Our ds had been asking to go out for pizza that day and we don't often go out unless we have someone to watch our dd or if we are going for fast food. Our dd just does not do good in restaurants or stores or... We took them out anyway hoping she would do good while eating pizza. We were getting the buffet so that she would not have to wait. This would have all worked out good if it were not for her new need to play with clips on high chairs. She loves to clip and unclip them. The problem this weekend was that she is really too big for a high chair now and the clip would not go around her. This made her mad and she got loud about it. We tried different things to make her happy and she was not screaming constantly she would just scream out in frustration on occasion. We went in the middle of the afternoon in hopes that there would not be a lot of people in the restaurant but there was more than we expected. We really didn't get too many stares from other customers (unless I just missed them) it was mostly from the wait staff. One server came over and asked us if we needed a booster instead. We fumbled around with how to explain she is mad at the straps and she can't sit in a booster because there is nothing holding her in. We should have just said she has special needs but we didn't. This brings me to the point of this thread. If we had a few cute little shirts for her to wear when we do go out then maybe people would be more understanding. This weekend, I ended up eating my food quickly and taking our dd to the car to sit and wait while dh and ds finished eating. We were getting too many stares from the wait staff and too often one of them would come over to our table like they wanted to say something about her behavior.
If anyone has any sites or stores they can chain stores they can suggest for shirts that would be great.

I really felt for you when I read this post. I'm wondering, before we start looking for a T-shirt that says "special needs" can we problem solve some of the situations? Are there some strategies or modifications that can help your daughter to manage? FOr example, if she loves playing with clips, can you make her a travel kit full of lots of different clips to keep her occupied? You can even have velcro to attach it to the high chair. Maybe different fine motor puzzle-type manipulatives would keep her occupied?

[mechurchlady]

Originally Posted by Sandra Bostwick

I really felt for you when I read this post. I'm wondering, before we start looking for a T-shirt that says "special needs" can we problem solve some of the situations? Are there some strategies or modifications that can help your daughter to manage? FOr example, if she loves playing with clips, can you make her a travel kit full of lots of different clips to keep her occupied? You can even have velcro to attach it to the high chair. Maybe different fine motor puzzle-type manipulatives would keep her occupied?

Hugs Sandra
This is what I was trying to say. Thanks for better saying it than me.

[alexsmommy0412]

Originally Posted by Tabitha34

Not sure where to post this. I was wanting to find a t-shirt or two for my dd 5. Something that tells people she has special needs but something cute. We were out this weekend with our kids (something we don't do very often). We decided to take them out for pizza. Our ds had been asking to go out for pizza that day and we don't often go out unless we have someone to watch our dd or if we are going for fast food. Our dd just does not do good in restaurants or stores or... We took them out anyway hoping she would do good while eating pizza. We were getting the buffet so that she would not have to wait. This would have all worked out good if it were not for her new need to play with clips on high chairs. She loves to clip and unclip them. The problem this weekend was that she is really too big for a high chair now and the clip would not go around her. This made her mad and she got loud about it. We tried different things to make her happy and she was not screaming constantly she would just scream out in frustration on occasion. We went in the middle of the afternoon in hopes that there would not be a lot of people in the restaurant but there was more than we expected. We really didn't get too many stares from other customers (unless I just missed them) it was mostly from the wait staff. One server came over and asked us if we needed a booster instead. We fumbled around with how to explain she is mad at the straps and she can't sit in a booster because there is nothing holding her in. We should have just said she has special needs but we didn't. This brings me to the point of this thread. If we had a few cute little shirts for her to wear when we do go out then maybe people would be more understanding. This weekend, I ended up eating my food quickly and taking our dd to the car to sit and wait while dh and ds finished eating. We were getting too many stares from the wait staff and too often one of them would come over to our table like they wanted to say something about her behavior.
If anyone has any sites or stores they can chain stores they can suggest for shirts that would be great.

I read your post and immediately felt for you my son Alex is 3 (will be 4 in Oct.) And developmenttally delayed particularly in the area of expressive and receptive language. We used to avoid restaurants with him because he would carrying on and I would feel the stares. Because of his delay he could express his anger to us but not why he was mad. And most people around us figured he was just a brat and we are bad parents. Anyway what we started to do was pack a bag with a few toys, he loves trains, this tends to keep him occupied til food comes. It has helped alot and he is getting so much better in restaurants. I don't know if you already do that but I just thought I would share since we have similar experiances.

[Sunshine Family]

Originally Posted by Sandra Bostwick

I really felt for you when I read this post. I'm wondering, before we start looking for a T-shirt that says "special needs" can we problem solve some of the situations? Are there some strategies or modifications that can help your daughter to manage? FOr example, if she loves playing with clips, can you make her a travel kit full of lots of different clips to keep her occupied? You can even have velcro to attach it to the high chair. Maybe different fine motor puzzle-type manipulatives would keep her occupied?

Agreed - I understand you wanting the shirt, to make people understand and back off. But that's their problem, not yours.

These days when we see someone "act up", regardless of age, I've trained my family to first think that maybe there is something more going on, "under the hood" so to speak and to not assume that the person is being a brat. I don't mean this in a negative way, assuming that everyone has cognitive issues, but that by starting out with the assumption that this may be out of the person's control helps give you perspective on the situation and not think rude, mean thoughts about the person. And this is also regardless of age as cognitive issues can be invisible.

So for your situation specifically, what can you do to help your daughter? Hmm, that came off a bit like a lecture. What I mean, is: what tips and tricks help? One parent I know orders the child's dinner before they're even sitting down so it comes out right away. Others bring toys like mentioned above. Another waits outside with the child until the food is brought and then brings the kid in and they all eat together, that way there is no downtime waiting for food.

What do you do at home for meals? Use that and adapt it for restaurants.
If you live in a smaller town, go to a place that's locally owned. Talk with the manager and explain that you're trying out different techniques and that you're working with your kid on getting them out of the house more and that you need some assistance and understanding.

[OneLittleSpark]

I agree with everything everyone has posted on here thus far. I just wanted to pop in and say that I too have a DD age 7 with developmental delays, including speech processing. The two best pieces of advice I can give is 1.) bring toys to keep her entertained (like others have said) and the most important advice....

2.) DONT stop bringing her. She will only learn how to appropriately behave in restaurants, if you bring her to restaurants.

I would do as others have suggested on here and speak to your waiter/waitress about her special needs and let everyone stare. I know it can be hard and unsettling when your child is 'acting up' and noone around you knows of her situation. It makes you think the worst. I always think people are thinking exactly what I would be thinking if it were their kids. LOL But again, I firmly believe that the only way to teach your child about being out in public places, is by bringing them out in public places.

Hope it all works out for you. I am personally against the tshirt idea, but that is just because I don't think that we should be so quick to label and 'shout' to the world about it. Your DD special needs are yours and hers alone. If the situation warrants you sharing that information (like to a waiter/waitress) than by all means share. But I don't think it should be announced to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. For me, I feel like by announcing it on a tee, it's defining your child in that way to the world. I look at my DD disabilities as a part of her and her learning style. It's not something I share immediately when describing my DD, it's not 'who' she is. Kwim? Did that make sense?

[Sandra Bostwick]

What a wonderful group we have here! This is such an important topic, so I hope the suggestions and questions keep coming!

[jenifermg0]

While I don't have a true special needs child (my DS has struggled with some minor ADD - mostly in school), I cannot imagine as a parent putting a sign on my child labeling him or her as such or as anything else either. Too many people are cruel and might not treat the child with the respect and understanding she deserves. I completely agree with what others have said. Bring what your DD likes to play with. If she likes clips get her a little bag of them with different sizes and colors on different cords/straps that she can play with. Any fabric store should have a nice supply and they are easy to attach to pretty ribbons and cords as wells as webbing. If she has moved on to some other favorite object/obsession (they all go thru this sometimes on a weekly basis!), get her something of that sort to help keep her occupied and content. If she starts acting up and you truly feel it necessary, you can speak quietly with the server, but in reality, it isn't their concern.

When my DS was young and would start getting loud in a restaurant, I would take him out or to the restroom til he calmed down. Now, not knowing what your DD's special needs are, I don't know if this is a potential solution for you, but maybe it will help.

Also, ANY parent should be able to tell you the biggest key to happy dining in a restaurant (or traveling or doing just about anything with a young child) is keeping the child (of just about any age - me included) occupied and entertained. ANYONE who thinks a child is going to sit quietly at a table (or on an airplane/train etc) with nothing to do or play with is completely insane and obviously NOT A PARENT!!!

I am sending you lots of and a big old !!!!! I hope you are able to find a happy solution for your situation.

[Pax]

Originally Posted by Tigger71

Please do not feel the need to label your child!

This.

You and your family have just as much right to visit and ENJOY a meal in a restaurant as anyone else. Please do not put a label on her shirt. The rude staff or customer probably wouldn't take notice anyway!

Also, this.

There is a large difference between a child who is making occasional noises of unhappiness, and the child who is allowed to run rampant and unsupervised through the restaurant, as if it (and everyone in it) was all just a giant playground for their amusement.

...

Rather than a label, T-shirt or otherwise, I would suggest simply telling your server, during the introductions-and-hello stage of things, that your daughter has X and Y issues, and maybe describe how you usually alleviate them.

As for while you're in the parks? Noone who is going to be rude about it, is going to care what her shirt says. And conversely, noone who would care about what her shirt says, is going to be rude to you.

If she has a problem with crowds, and suspect waiting in line for shows and similar attractions would be an issue ... you could consider getting a Guest Access Card (GAC) for her, so that one of you could stand in line with your DS, while the other sits somewhere quiet with your DD. When the parent in line gets to the front, a CM would come get the other parent, and the whole family would then enter together.

Disney is pretty good about that sort of thing.

[guitardiva]

I would not do a t shirt. It is no one's business but your own as to any disabilities present in your family. Instead I would do as the other's mentioned and have something for her to do. Vtech has a wonderful assortment of game systems that would be perfect and come in a variety of age levels. Many are compact. video type games are terrific. They don't get old. Different pictures and stimuli offer a mental focus.
It could also be as simple as the seat. Perhaps a special covering for booster seats or bring a special booster seat for her . Many people with special needs have strong sensitivity issues to things that we may not pay attention to. Like a wooden high chair may be unbearably hard or constrictive (in a claustraphobic way). The collective conversations around you may be deafening to your child. I would definately not avoid the situations, You will find ways to adapt. Good luck.
Here are a couple of sites that you may be interested in.

Learning Toys, Games & Gifts for Kids from VTech

www.funandfunction.com

Spiky Tactile Cushion [BA1881] - $24.99 : Special Needs Toys | Teaching Special Needs Children Equipment | Child Therapy Toys

[Tabitha34]

Thanks everyone for all the suggestions and encouragement. As far as taking things with us for her to do, we always take things with us but I have not thought to take some clips. Thats a great idea. This is a fairly new thing with her so it had just not crossed my mind. She usually wants nothing I have when we are out even if it is her current favorite toy. The reason I took her out of the restaurant was because she was being very loud with ear piercing screams. They would not last long but I could see the longer we sat there that she was headed for a melt down and carrying out a 40 lb. relatively calm child is much easier than carrying out a kicking and screaming 40 lb. child. We do not always take her out when she gets loud but it was necessary this weekend. As far as a shirt goes I would not put a shirt on her that says she has xyz, I was just thinking something cute like "I see the world from a different angle" or something. I know that on the occasion that I have seen a child or adult with a shirt on with some clever little saying it helps me to look at the situation differently. It's just like something I read on another thread about service dogs. They were talking about getting a shirt for the owner of the dog to stop the comments.

We have thought about getting Ramoan a t-shirt that says "Really??? I have a DOG with me??? I thought it was an Ewok." Or something of that sort.

I don't see anything wrong with something like that.
Several people mentioned they don't know where my daughter is developmentally and I don't mind sharing. She is 5 years old but around 12 months develpmentally. She is nonverbal and has very little communication. She has come a very long way in the past 3 years. We are very proud of her. You can read all about her journey on her caringbridge website. There is a link in my signature.

[PamelaK]

Another suggestion that I have seen a few times on these boards, but not this thread yet, is to have some business cards made up with a short explanation that your DD has special needs and how they can help. Even if it is just "Hi, I'm _____ and I can be really shy sometimes. I would appreciate it if you gave me a little extra time to answer." or "Hi, I'm sorry if I get loud, but I get very frustrated with certain situations and I don't how else to express myself. If you have something to entertain me while I wait for my food that may be a big help." If you decide to go this route, play with the wording to suit your family's needs.

A while back I sent Rachel (simbarel) an extra copy of Open Mouse and an autograph book for Jimmy. In the cover of the autograph book I wrote "Hi, I'm Jimmy. I am extremely shy, but I would really like to have your autograph so I can remember all my Disney friends." (Or something close to that anyway.) I have some cards I made up for my cousin whose son lives with Autism. They are in a word file and I would be happy to email them to you if you PM me with your email address. You can change them as you see fit.

[Teresa]

When DD Samantha (27 yr. old quadriplegic, injured at age 6), we bought her quite a few shirts from a place called "Nth Degree".
The shirts address all "disabilities" and differences. Some are funny, some are advocacy slogans. Some are just informative. We have a warped sense of humor, and our favorites were one called "Stairs", and one called "Camp Can't Feel my Legs".
Not sure there are any that would work for your princess, though, just because of her age. There are some great ones for parents: "Attila the Mom" is great!!

I agree that you really have no reason to feel as if you need to explain why she was acting like she was.