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Old 08-01-2009, 08:22 PM   #1
B.M.
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Parents of middle schoolers..........?

My oldest is starting middle school in three days and I'm a nervous wreck!! He is still very much a kid- so innocent. He is also very responsible and smart- the best 12 year old I know! I'm so scared of all the influences he's going to be exposed to going to school with teenagers. I remember my middle school years- and that really makes me scared that that is what he is going into! Ugh! So- parents of middle schoolers- did your kids change a lot once they started middle school?? I don't want to lose my little boy! The positive note- is my prayer life has increased lately ...... lol
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Old 08-01-2009, 08:30 PM   #2
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My youngest is starting middle school this year and all I can say is hug him tight! Mine is also still a kid, yet responsible and smart. My older two didn't so much "change" due to the influences in middle school as much as test out their wings as a natural part of growing up. Middle school definitely coincides with a lot of physical and emotional changes. If you have a great relationship with your son (and it sounds like you do!) and he's willing to share with you, he'll be fine. It is a big step, I agree! (now I'm going to go cry in the corner about my baby going to middle school....)
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Old 08-01-2009, 09:31 PM   #3
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My sons started middle school last year and they are also very innocent and that's a good thing. How sad would it be to be street smart at 12? My boys gravitate toward kids like them and like your son, will know better than to hang out with a bad element. You taught him well, he'll remember.
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Old 08-01-2009, 10:01 PM   #4
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Old 08-01-2009, 10:48 PM   #5
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Our daughter is going into her last year of middle school and she is a good kid...always has been. BUT...She is a 13 1/2 year old girl that is testing her limits and pushing towards independence. Is she the same kid that started middle school? No. But she is wiser and more independent and is gaining common sense. Are all of her decisions good ones? NO...but she is learning...but knows right from wrong. Just keep them close, be open to ideas, and always invite the friends to your house and get to know them, offer to drive and attend as many acrtivities you can. It is truley amazing what you learn driving these kids to activities.
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Old 08-01-2009, 11:32 PM   #6
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I think the hardest part of middle school was all the new friends. Friends that we hadn't known for years and didn't know the families. Just keep tabs on the friends and keep talking.
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Old 08-01-2009, 11:53 PM   #7
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Everyone else has some great advice.
This is a growing period for your DS. He will never be the same, but the kids who have a great background/foundation usually grow well, and become the most amazing young men and women.
NOW is the time they REALLY need you. Yeah, it's important to be there and engaged when they are babies - but this is IT.
Pay attention to who his friends are, what he does, where he goes. BUT at the same time, give him the freedom to grow up. I know it's hard, but I always start thinking when the kids are about 12 or 13 - I only have 5 or so years to take this kid from little girl/little boy to Adult (or a reasonable facsimile).

Let him stretch his wings. Give in on the little stuff, but be firm on the big stuff that really matters. you can cut/shave/dye your hair, (because it grows out) - but holes and tattoos aren't okay.

If you've given your son a good start, and it sounds like you have, then he'll be fine. Good kids make good choices.

OH - big thing: realize that middle school teachers are NOT as into talking to you about your kid as elementary teachers are - but they DO want to know you care and are interested in what your child is doing. I usually e-mail each teacher once a month, asking if my child is doing okay - and reassuring the teacher that I'm open to suggestions to help my child solve a problem.
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Old 08-02-2009, 02:40 AM   #8
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Old 08-02-2009, 08:22 AM   #9
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I'm right there with you, sobbing in the corner. My son starts Junior high this year. He also is 12, and also quite innocent. This point was really driven home to me when I chaperoned the sixth grade trip to DC. Yikes! It was a great trip, but it did cause me some concerns for this year. I am like you praying that he will grow and still keep his kind heart. I am praying that he will not be bullied or made to harden his heart.
I encouraged him to be in the band last year. That will help I think. There are a lot of nice kids in the band, including several of his good friends.
Hang in there, and know that you are not alone.
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Old 08-02-2009, 10:53 AM   #10
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Ok, I must be on the brink of ladies days because this thread is making me soooo sad. You are all good mammas for raising "young" 12-year-olds, I hope to do the same.
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Old 08-02-2009, 11:39 AM   #11
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Old 08-02-2009, 12:44 PM   #12
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Old 08-02-2009, 01:14 PM   #13
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My boys gravitate toward kids like them and like your son, will know better than to hang out with a bad element. You taught him well, he'll remember.
Same experience here -- my smart, kind, outgoing son found his niche in middle school and has surrounded himself with smart, kind, outgoing boys like him.

Yes, there have been some bad moments, but most of it has been great.

In our case, having him involved with martial arts was a big key to his self-confidence and self-reliance in school. Not to mention that other kids are well aware of who has MA training and the bullies keep a good distance from them (what fun is there for bullies if the kid will defend themselves well....? )

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Old 08-02-2009, 01:17 PM   #14
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Old 08-02-2009, 04:34 PM   #15
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Chet's going into 7th grade and so he says to tell your son to not try and stick with the in-crowd, just be yourself, and be smart (don't do anything stupid).

One other warning I'll give you is about school work. Chet didn't fall prey to this, but his older sister Lizzie did (maybe Chet learned by watching her). For some reason many middle schoolers totally lose focus and / or drive for their school work. Lizzie had been a straight A student, always conscientious, and always worked to do her best. But in 6th and 7th grade, she could have cared less about school. Not that she was really interested in anything else, but she just didn't put the effort into her school work. Consequently, her grades dropped to low A's and B's. We were at our wits end. Nothing we did seemed to work - not grounding, not offering a reward - nothing. We met with her teachers, and they really didn't have a lot to offer in the way of help, just suggested extra help sessions and the like but not anything that would fix the problem. And some how during the summer between 7th and 8th grade she had some sort of epiphany and our old child was back. It was SO weird. Now it may be that that was the first time she went away for chruch camp, or it may not. But we've never had that type of trouble since then. So don't ignore any type of grade dip, but don't sweat it too much either. You're not the only parent experiencing it.
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