10yo needs pixies, please. I need to not strangle my mother...
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graygables · 06-05-2009, 06:24 PM

It's been almost 1 year since we lost "Lucky Ducky". For those who don't know, it was an orphaned duck that 10yo rescued and raised. We had it in a big enclosure in our backyard and she would go out, sit with it, and hand feed it through the wire. We were traveling to Florida to WDW and to do a couple of conventions, so she went out to say goodbye before leaving for the airport to find Lucky Ducky had been attacked by a predator. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. That weekend, she had her first panic attack and has been in treatment for panic disorder and PTSD. She was improved and when we moved to Florida in Jan, both the psychologist and psychiatrist felt that we were on the right track and did not need continued regular care, only acute.

DD has written a song (made me cry) and often draws pictures of Lucky Ducky, mostly flying through the sky with things like, "Fly high until we meet again". She still has breakdowns where she cries, but mostly is better. Her panic attacks have also improved.

FF to today...she was outside and heard chirping from the enclosure and found a bird had flown inside. She put out birdseed and water and was SO excited. She came in and said it was like having Lucky Ducky back again. I told her if the bird flew in, the bird could also fly out, but no, this bird was here to stay. She was in and out all day and even told hubby when he got home that she was going to have to show him how to take care of it. She just came in from checking and the bird was gone. She's VERY upset and crying.

I was talking to my mother and told her what happened and she said in her oh-so-usual-caring-and-compassionate-voice, "just get her to a shrink, for pete's sake, the duck was an ANIMAL. Animals die, get over it".

I reminded her that we'd been to a "shrink" already, for several months and she didn't understand that DD feels personally responsible for Lucky Duck's death.

Can I hug one with one arm and throttle one with the other???

Please send pixies for DD. The last thing we need right now is the panic attacks to start up again.

~UPDATE~ You aren't going to believe this...pixies work in mysterious ways!!! The bird was BACK this morning! Had eaten more seed and is now sitting there chirping away. DD is delighted, needless to say. I talked to her this morning about it being a temporary home and how she's done such a great job of caring for it in the meantime. Thank you all SO MUCH for the pixies and advice.

roaminggnome · 06-05-2009, 06:30 PM

RoonieRooToo · 06-05-2009, 06:35 PM

wishes · 06-05-2009, 06:41 PM

for you and DD. Hope she's OK and the panic attacks don't start up again.

Huntermom · 06-05-2009, 06:54 PM

Christine43 · 06-05-2009, 07:02 PM

My heart goes out to you. My DD gets panic attacks too. She was eventually put on medication for it which has helped immensely. Good luck!

lazanya · 06-05-2009, 07:33 PM

tndisneyfam · 06-05-2009, 07:45 PM

dluvsdisney · 06-05-2009, 08:10 PM

Lucky Ducky was a pet and special to her. We just lost our 15 yr old dog and my DS11 is taking it very hard. We're experiencing some of grief first hand. Is there some other low maintenance pet you could get her (fish, turtle, etc)? It is hard to lose something you love.

for DD

clio · 06-05-2009, 08:14 PM

**Colexis Mom** · 06-05-2009, 08:35 PM

**Colexis Mom** · 06-05-2009, 08:35 PM

wendybell · 06-05-2009, 08:45 PM

I hope the panic attacks don't start up again. I have a 10 year old that takes things to heart, especially when it comes to animals so i know how difficult it can be. Hang in there.

pflamingo · 06-06-2009, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by graygables

I reminded her that we'd been to a "shrink" already, for several months and she didn't understand that DD feels personally responsible for Lucky Duck's death.

Do you mean the "shrink" didn't understand this, or your mother? If it was the shrink, it might be worthwhile to find one who does "get it". Maybe just for some follow-up. A standard rule of grief is that it takes about a year to get over a loss - some people take more time, some less. Sounds like your DD is still grieving, poor baby!

I've lost two beloved pets as an adult - one twelve years ago, and one this year - and I still tear up over both and wonder if I couldn't have done more to save them. And I'm a big, grown-up (sort of), rational (mostly) adult. I was lucky to have a shrink who understood that for some of us our pets are not "just animals". Anyway,

for your DD, and a big, old rasberry (Pbllllt) (We need a smilie for that one) for your mother.

coffeechef · 06-06-2009, 12:21 AM

Hmmm can you put a spin on it that the little bird needed a place to rest and had probably heard of a little girl who took such good care of lucky ducky. That this little bird came there ( a sanctuary) to rest and get nourishment til it was ready to fly home ,finish its journey to its Family. It nice that the little bird had a nice place where it felt safe to take its rest/vacation. She should know that the little bird must have really appreciated her taking the time to bring food & giving her place to stay.

As for Gramma.... so sad that she forgot what it was like to be a little girl who is passionate about animals.

also Let DD know that probalby more than 1/2 the trainers and caregivers at AK or SW or any other place where animals are cared for most likely offered homes to birds , ducks etc when they needed it when they were a child.

Hope she feels better soon