Life's Most Embarassing Moments About This Page:

[AKLRULZ]

A friend of mine emailed me this and I'm still ROTF - some are a tad risque and I deleted some of the REALLY risque ones, but I just thought that the group would roll reading some of them...enjoy, I can't stop laughing.

Life's Most Embarassing Moments

Lady Golfer

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking (obviously), I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

Colleen C., 31, Ferndale, MI

---------------------------
Nuts about You

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

Faye E., 34, Ellerslie, MD

---------------------------

Strip Mall

My husband and I took our three kids out shoe shopping one day. We were going from store to store, and the kids were getting restless. At one crowded store, I was standing near a bench when my 3-year-old climbed up on it, grabbed hold of my elastic-waist shorts, and jumped off pulling BOTH my shorts and my underwear to the floor. I raced out of there, much to the delight of the appreciative onlookers.

Patricia L., 35, Lathrop, CA

---------------------------

Pass the pad, please!

An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest!

Kathy N., 46, Winston-Salem, NC

---------------------------

Ho, Ho, Ho

I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing
hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera!

Name and Negatives Withheld

---------------------------
Surprise!

It was the day before my 20th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a nude piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't
want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on
and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!" My entire family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.

Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

Tim C., Poughkeepsie, New York
---------------------------

Priceless

One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store.

When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the
checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS". In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

---------------------------

[rescuesk]

Ohmigosh, where do you find this stuff? This is TOO FUNNY! [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[KathyL]

Thanks for a good laugh.

KathyL.

[ILuvDisney]

Thanks for the laugh Steve [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[Beth L.]

Snort, I'm ROFL with tears running down my cheeks. Way too funny, I love it!! I can't decide which one I think is funnier, the picture or the thumbtack one [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] Thanks Dadtojbj for the laugh!!!

[Sue W]

Thanks Steve = I needed a good laugh right now!!!!

[wdwlovers]

HAHA! [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] I have heard the kotex one before, but the rest are hilarious! Thanks for sharing! [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[Chrissi]

Thumbtacks! DH an I are ROFLWTIOE. DH laughed so hard I thought he was going to pass out.

[aurora1429]

Thanks for the laugh, Steve!

[LilMarcieMouse]

ROTF with tears in my eyes!!! Thanks for the great post! [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[ 12-30-2001: Message edited by: LilMarcieMouse ]

[AKLRULZ]

I'm so glad you all thought these were funny! I was concerned that they might be offensive...maybe I should go back and put the ones in I deleted?!? I still laugh as hard the second, third, fourth time reading them...they're just so funny!!!

[patty c.]

Too funny! Do I sense a "question of the day" coming?

edit: yep, disneyknut took the ball and ran with it!

[ 12-31-2001: Message edited by: patsy-c ]

[peterfan]

Those were hysterical! I want to see the deleted ones now.

[AKLRULZ]

Ok - here are the ones I deleted...you asked for it:

Curl Up and Die

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"

Melinda L., 39, Seguin, TX


---------------------------

Na-na na-na na-nah!

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

Amy R., Stafford, Virginia

---------------------------

Mom's Advice

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the
back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

[ 01-01-2002: Message edited by: Dadtojbj ]

[Janet 46]

OMG! My husband came in to see what I was laughing about! I love the bank story! Thanks, Steve. Your stories are a delight as always! [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]