(LONG!!) Ready to THROTTLE the DH!!!!! About This Page:

[jenifermg0]

We have been married for 15 years, together for 19 years.....you would think that after this amount of time he would take me seriously!!! I have a simple request....DO NOT BUY ANYTHING AFTER HALLOWEEN THAT COULD INSTEAD BE A CHRISTMAS PRESENT!!!

So last night I was going to go to a movie with a friend. She called me also let me know that she had found the perfect present for both our boys (they are 11) - a Wii Nerf game. Both boys LOVE Nerf and have Wii systems so it was ideal. Soooo, I call DH at work to let him know that I'm going to a movie and about the game. When I tell him about the game - he says "Yeah, I know, DS and I bought it yesterday." EXCUSE ME, WHAT??????????? I got upset and fussed, but not to an extreme and he suddenly goes off about how he's had a bad day and the boss is being a butt etc......Finally, I said, "Fine, whatever, see you when I get home from the movie." We hang up (not one one of us hanging up on the other or anything). I was MAD.....ranted and raved to the house and (UNFORTUNATELY) DS heard me ranting. I realized that he was feeling like it was his fault, so I made sure to sit down and tell him that he was not at fault and that I wasn't angry with him, I was just angry.

So, my friend showed up and off to the movie we went. I realized about half way there, that I had left my cell phone at home so I gave DH a little while to get home and called him using her phone to make sure he was home and to let him know that I had forgotten my phone. I was calm and perfectly reasonable (my friend said I sounded perfectly normal) HE GAVE ME ATTITUDE!! Said, "I boxed up the game and it's in the closet." I asked, "Why? DS has already seen it and played it." Then I told him, "I'm not going into this over the phone," and that I would see him when the movie was over.

So.........when I got home, I was as normal as possible considering I was still miffed, but I didn't want to get into it with DS still awake. So I talked about the movie, asked him what the issues were at work and just basic, typical stuff like that.

Well, DS didn't help - he was goofing off and when DH was trying to drink the last little bit of root beer out of the 2 liter bottle, DS pulled the on the bottle and root beer went all over DH. DH started yelling and just generally being a brat! He goes storming into our bedroom to change and DS is hiding in his bedroom. I get DS to get cleaned up (he was slightly covered in root beer too) and tucked into bed (it was bed time anyway). DH comes out of the bedroom, still upset, but mostly calm. He goes and talks to DS, but doesn't apologize for overreacting (I think he needs to). Then DH decides that he is just going to go to bed. Probably best for everyone!

In his mind he has done nothing wrong the whole day!!! So before he goes to bed, I tell him, "I have a few things to say about this evening, but I'm not going to go into them right now. You are not in the proper mindset to even listen. Anything I say right now is only going to p**s you off so I'm not going to say it. However, this conversation is not over." He did thank me for waiting but I don't think he realizes how upset I still am and I'm NOT referring to the d**m Wii game!!!!

DH needs to control his temper. He doesn't go off often, but when he does, it's not pretty and I don't like DS seeing this kind of behaviour. I know I that I just recently had meltdown myself - BUT DS was not at home when it happened!!! Also in my ranting last night, I realized the DS was feeling like he was in trouble/at fault so I reined myself in and talked to him immediately to allay his worries. DH doesn't always apologize to the innocent witnesses to his occasional ravings.
DH also needs to stop playing the "I've had a bad day" card. Maybe he did have a bad day, but it seems like whenever I get upset (even a little) and fuss, out that comes!!! Well, he went to work for this guy knowing that he could be a jerk, he had an opportunity last year to get a different job and chose to stay where he was (is). I told him then, don't come complaining to me every day about the boss, this is your choice. He didn't complain at all for about six months, but its starting to be a weekly (at least) event these days. He RARELY stops to ask what kind of day I or DS have had. I work in a place where I'm dealing with tragedy and the scum of earth on a daily basis - but I leave that at work. When I come home, I am going to my sanctuary. And DS is in 6th grade and that can be stressful too.
LASTLY (and of the least importance), he needs to listen to me when I ask him to do or not to do something. If there is a VALID reason for doing the opposite, talk to me. He had not told me about the darn game and I almost went out and bought another one!!!!!

BTW - don't think my DH is an ogre or anything. Mostly he is a sweet, loving person. He doesn't beat or mentally abuse us, he doesn't drink to excess, he's not out galvanting with other women. His only addiction, other than smoking, is video games, so at least I know where he is nights! And I know he loves us both dearly.

Thanks for letting me vent, I need to keep from getting worked up before we both get home and I can talk to him. I want to remain calm, but I also need him to know how serious I am about what I need to tell him.

[jimmymac]

[duck addict]

[Nimros]

[Colexis Mom]

[chezp]

[oldmom]

hang in there. remember throttling involves too much paper work!

[Disneydiana]

[CinderAbby]

I have a hubby like that, so I can relate. He actually did it over the weekend. We went to the store and with Abby in tow (they were suppose to stay in the truck), he came in and picked up the "perfect" Christmas gift (a princess snow globe) before I could. Once we got home, he asked if I was going to hide the snow globe. Hello, no, I can't. Abby has seen it and she still believes in Santa.

[denwol]

I am so with you! Anyone want to guess who bought himself a blackberry last night.......

[RobDVC]

I'm guilty of that, too..... I always run out and buy the must-have video game, even near the holidays. DW has told me NOT to buy anything without asking her first during this time of year.

[theJordans]

Sounds a bit like me and DH We get on great 99.9% of the time and then we`ll have a fallout. It does clear the air and at least you do get the minor irritations out of your system

[lauren-roxy]

[lazanya]

[SouthernBelle]