My neigbor is a moron aka: please remind me to be tolerant - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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My neigbor is a moron aka: please remind me to be tolerant
My neighbor drives me crazy. She is the sort of person who repeats herself over and over and tells the same story du jour every time I see her. We don't have a border between our houses (yet - that comes next year) and in the meantime, I have to remind myself to be tolerant.
Backstory: My DS (4) has a speech delay, and while the special ed pre-school program is helping him, there is still a well defined gap between his motor processing skills and of a typical boy his age. DD (22 months old) also is having problems with oral motor development, but luckily it is without the processing problems that DS has. For example: she is almost two and still chokes using a straw and certain foods, but she can follow two-step directions that I give her (when she has the mind to - little stubborn thing!) I have her in early intervention and am very exited because she now qualifies to have a "real" speech therapist examine her rather than the weekly visits from the developmental interventionist.
ANYWAY! Onto my annoying frickin neighbor. right.
One day she asked me who the person was coming over every Wednesday morning. I told her it was DD's therpist. She asked me all about the kids' issues and I answered her questions as best I could (there is no specific diagnosis for either of them - just "delayed") and after all that she says to me "Well, I am a firm believer that all kids develop in their own time. Our pediatrician told me all kids even out by the time they are two. So you shouldn't worry." I just kind of looked at her like and so she repeated herself. I said 'Well, yes, that is true for a typical developing kid, but both of our kids are behind and really need special help." and she literally waved her hand in front of her face gave a "fffft" and said the SAME thing word for word over again, but this time added "I mean, unless the kid has, you know, "mental" issues. But your kids seem normal." Is she serious? I was dumbfounded and angry and had no idea how to reply. So I just shrugged and said "yeah." and let that be that.
Mind you, this all comes from a woman who is completely self-abosrbed... What? Oh... sorry... that was Mrs. Sarcasm speaking. It's my turn to talk now. This is a woman who has one child, younger than my own, who hasn't any friends with children. And she is a woman whose child has hit every developmental milestone early. She has no frame of reference, and I have to keep that in mind. But I can't help but get the feeling that her comments are just beyond what is acceptable even from a person who has no frame of reference. I mean, is it just me or does she sound like a big... um... idiot?
Now if she asks me how the kids are I just nod and say "fine." If she asks me how DD's therapy is going I say "great" and let that be that, but she still brings up her official diagnosis "Really? She is still seeing a therapist? She doesn't need it. She's fine." Ummmmmmmmm.... uh-huh... and where did you get your degree from, Doctor? The College of Annoying and Insensitive?????? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Literally, I see her and I want to run the other way. It's like the movie Airplane - I'd rather light myself on fire then listen to her voice. And I see her every. f'n. day. It's like she lies in wait for me to come home from the gym. HELP!!!! I can't take it anymore!!! Can't one of my nice PassPorter friends live next to me instead? Amandal? Are you listening?????????
HELP! PLEASE SEND ME SOME COMPASSION AND TOLERANCE!!!
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Boogie down!!! __________________________________________________ ______ "Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending." from The Muppet Movie
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Wow some people I think you are doing the right thing by just yesing (is that a word?) her to death. When she says "she still needs one? Just say Naaahhh I'm paying her to visit me But really I don't think you'll ever win with her. She seems to know everything, I've known a few in my life.
But really I don't think you'll ever win with her. She seems to know everything, I've known a few in my life.
Oh thank goodness I'm not losing my mind. My husband thinks I ought to smart aleck her comments some day to "teach her a lesson" but that isn't my style. It's a good reality check to know I'm not overly sensitive. =whew=
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Boogie down!!! __________________________________________________ ______ "Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending." from The Muppet Movie
Goodness gracious, she certainly has trouble in empathy department. I kept thinking about the UK comedy show "Keeping Up Appearances" the whole time I was reading your post. "Mrs. Bucket" on that show is the town menace, but she is the only one who doesn't know it. Everyone hides when she walks through the neighborhood!!
I will send some pixies your way for tolerance. But remember, some of us, who are passporters, and who seem so wonderful in print, may be just as bad as nieghbors if you had to live next to us!! I learned a long time ago that great friends rarely make great neighbors!
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My DH calls it the nod and walk away method. Nod and walk away. yes all kids develop different but you know your kids best who else spends 24 hrs/day with them? I admire your restraint and hope that one day, I, can achieve the level of zen.
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my dd was in speech therapy for a while. You must be a saint to not have smacked that neighbor of yours upside the head by now!!! I LOVE IE, and am so thankful that they, and other services like them, exist!! I tell all the moms I know that if they ever have any concerns about their kids' development to call them and have an eval done!! It just takes some time... and now that my dd is no longer needing her ST, it's great to show her as a success story! I think that kids do develop on their own... but within reason... if your neighbor had a 16mo who wasn't walking or something, you can bet she'd be callin IE for some help too!! People who don't have any experience with it have .no.idea.
Exactly! I probably would have smacked her for those comments and there would be a thread here collecting bail money for me!
I'd be the first to donate!!
Ahhhhhhhhhh... I knew you could all give me some perspective and make me laugh about it! I can't tell you hwo many times I started this thread and then deleted it because I didn't want to come across as the witchy neighbor woman, but I also knew I had to vent or otherwise I'd carry it around with me. I'm just done being angry. Now I'm going to remember all your wit and sarcasm!!!!
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Boogie down!!! __________________________________________________ ______ "Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending." from The Muppet Movie
I'm so sorry you've got that "lovely" next-door neighbor. She reminds me of a lady I work with who speaks as though she is an authority on absolutely everything. Most of the time I can simply manage to avoid her, but your neighbor seems to lurk, waiting for you. and to remain kind and tolerant in spite of her crazy remarks.
Well first of all it must be nice for her to know everything. Tell her to go to med school quick while she still knows everything!! I am so sorry but I would have my cell phone and hit the volume button for the ringer and you could say oh got to go there is my phone. She has no idea she is being a well you know. She really doen't get it. I am sure of that. We all have people like this but piece of mind is just a privacy fence away. haha stephanie
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and so she repeated herself. I said 'Well, yes, that is true for a typical developing kid, but both of our kids are behind and really need special help." and she literally waved her hand in front of her face gave a "fffft" and said the SAME thing word for word over again, but this time added "I mean, unless the kid has, you know, "mental" issues. But your kids seem normal." Is she serious? I was dumbfounded and angry and had no idea how to reply. So I just shrugged and said "yeah." and let that be that.
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But really I don't think you'll ever win with her. She seems to know everything, I've known a few in my life.
. Moron is not a strong enough word.
I'd be the first to donate!! 
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