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PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.

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If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.

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Old 09-24-2007, 10:52 PM   #1
graygables
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Unhappy Worried about my mother, don't know how to help my Dad.

My mom has always been a few fries short of a happy meal, but lately it's getting really bad. For awhile she's been obsessed with news stories of a particular kind not appropriate for a family board. 19yo DD is with a babysitting service now and my mother is convinced that some man is going to book a job without any kids to hurt DD. She's insisting that DD write on a big calendar the hours, phone # and address of her job, plus they are putting out an alarm clock that DD has to turn off when she comes in at night. If the alarm goes off, they will come look for her. I'm all for being careful, but she has really gone over the edge, discussing the cases in detail, and saying some things that really freaked out my younger 2 on this last trip. She locked 8yo out of our house several times in the few days they were here when she'd gone out to play. 19yo is feeling micro-managed and is ready to move out.

My Dad called me today to ask if my mom had told me about the "incidents" which she hadn't, but I guess she's been having moments where she doesn't know where she is or how to use the microwave or other appliances. He's tried to get her to go to the doctor, but she refuses. He's tired of almost 50 years of being treated like cr#* (more than 50 if you count the way she treated him BEFORE they got married ) and he just doesn't want to argue over it. I tried to talk to her about it today, but doctors are no help, they don't know anything. Her behavior is REALLY getting erratic and I am at a loss.
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Old 09-24-2007, 10:59 PM   #2
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Dawn,
So sorry to hear about your Mom. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.
Hopefully she'll realize she needs to see a Doctor.
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Old 09-24-2007, 11:02 PM   #3
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Old 09-24-2007, 11:05 PM   #4
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Dawn - I can't tell you anything helpful. I doubt there is anything you can do. If she doesn't want to see a Dr, you can't make her.
My grandmother was always telling me when I was a kid that: I needed to buckle my purse into my seatbelt so I wouldn't have a "smash and grab" while I was sitting at a light, I shouldn't drink out of a cup at a party - only from a coke/pepsi bottle that I opened myself and never let go of, I'd get assaulted (the worst assault a woman can have from a man) if I ever went anywhere with a man, and all sorts of other scary stuff.
We (GM has 5 granddaughters, all of us about the same ages - 41 to 35 now) all just realized this was her way of telling us she cared about us and got over it. Of course, we didn't have to live with the woman - I don't blame your DD for wanting to move out.
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Old 09-24-2007, 11:08 PM   #5
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My grandmother had Alzheimers, but my grandfather's dementia wasn't much easier. I know it's tough!
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Old 09-24-2007, 11:42 PM   #6
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I hope things get better for your family, Dawn. Don't know what else to say, just that I'm glad we have a forum for these kinds of issues.
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Old 09-24-2007, 11:57 PM   #7
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It sounds like at some point in time you may need to take the unpleasant step of making a decision for your mother. She's obviously not going to be able to make these choices for herself. I would speak to her physician and explain the situation and ask his advice.
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Old 09-25-2007, 01:27 AM   #8
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Old 09-25-2007, 02:09 AM   #9
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Old 09-25-2007, 07:11 AM   #10
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Old 09-25-2007, 08:38 AM   #11
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There's not a lot you can do to "make" her go to a doctor at this point (since she's still physically and mentally able to refuse). I know that's hard, though. Maybe it would be best for your DD to move out if the situation is not a good one.
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Old 09-25-2007, 09:00 AM   #12
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I dont think its such a ba idea for your dtr to write down the address and phone # of wheres shes going and we leave the hall light on and the last kid home turns it off- so I dont think that part is so bad.
She should see a Dr, I dont know how you or your Dad can convince her, maybe its as simple as labs that are out of whack, if she is showing signs of Dementia, there are 2 meds that are effective in slowing down the progress- good luck
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Old 09-25-2007, 09:33 AM   #13
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Old 09-25-2007, 09:35 AM   #14
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sorry


Sorry to hear about your mother. It is a difficult situation for your family. Does your area have a support group of any kind? I would still find time to talk to your mothers doctor.
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Old 09-25-2007, 09:54 AM   #15
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