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[Teresa]

If you are treating someone to a meal, because of a special occassion and they bring along more people than you anticipated or were told were coming? Do you say "Sorry, you told me 3, not 4 so I'll pay for all but him."?
Or, do you just suck it up and say nothing?
Say something later?

I'm on a bit of a tight budget right now because of school, and this added extra person (especially after he ordered a NY steak!) tipped the scales on what I had thought to spend. Thankfully, I had already told DH and kids that there would be no appetizers or fancy drinks (one has a sudden fondness for virgin daquaris)

[DyanKJ130]

I think I would probably just cut the loses this time and next time be more specific as to who is invited and/or who is going to pay for what.

[JaimeandChad]

I agree cut your losses this time, but next be more specific.

[snoozin]

First, it was extremely rude for them to bring along an extra person; I'm presuming your conversation to begin with was something like "Mary, you've been such a great help this past week, I'd really like to take you, Joe and Sally [or you and the kids, etc] to dinner Friday night, my treat."

I would definitely have taken my friend aside and said something right then and there. [Mary, lets go powder our noses.] Maybe this person ended up being at their house unexpectedly before they were heading out to dinner, but there's no way that you should have been expected to pick up their tab as well. Particualrly since they were obviously not polite about cost on someone else's pocketbook!

[Disney_Scarlett]

I would have just cut my losses that time, but next time - I'd be very specific as to who was invited...I might even say, "So-and-so, I thought me and DH would take you and Sally out to dinner before school starts. Of course, if you want to invite someone else, feel free to do so - but DH and I will be picking up the check for you and Sally...it's our treat for you and Sally." See how many times I repeated "you and Sally?"

I can't believe that that person ordered an expensive steak - geez, dude. Way to make sure you DON'T get invited next time!

[chezp]

I don't think you've got an option but to cut your losses this time, unless you want to make a big scene, but it's a live and learn thing - you know to be very specific if there's a next time.

[Huntermom]

There's not much you can do at the time. If this is your DD (I remember you talking about taking her out), I might have pulled her aside and mentioned that money was tight and adding an extra friend was an imposition. She may have then had the grace to at least order lightly.

But if it is your DD, I think that kids always think their parents ahve extra money and another few dollars won't hurt them.


Diane

[mrsmac2001]

Originally Posted by chezp

I don't think you've got an option but to cut your losses this time, unless you want to make a big scene, but it's a live and learn thing - you know to be very specific if there's a next time.

[Aminspired]

I think when they showed up I'd say "oh, you brought another guest...what a surprise". I'd pay if nobody spoke up when the bill came and would tell her later that you didn't expect the extra guest and you were not comfortable with that.
If they took the hint after the first comment and offered to pay for the extra person when the bill came, I'd let them.

[stretch2864]

That is a sticky situation. It was thoughtless on the part of the person who invited the extra guest to assume that having you pay for an additional person was no big deal. I guess I would have sucked it up unless I could have gotten that person alone and told him/her that I would be more than happy to pay for their meal as agreed beforehand but not the uninvited guests due to budget concerns.

I ran across a similar situation last week. One of my friends celebrated a birthday last weekend. Another mutual friend and I had told this friend that we would treat her to dinner out for her birthday. We told her to let us know where she wanted to go. Well she told us and said that this particular restaurant was a "little more" expensive, so we thought that would be fine. Well my friend and I sat down to dinner with the friend celebrating the birthday, and we nearly died of sticker shock! The prices would have been high by even WDW standards! So my friend and I scoured the menu for something relatively reasonable. The friend celebrating her birthday picked nearly the most expensive item on the menu! Then the restaurant charged us extra for things we thought were included with the meal. When the final bill came, we both cringed! The worst part~I became horribly sick and almost didn't make it home in time! It turns out that my friend became terribly ill as well. The one celebrating her birthday never even thanked us for treating her to dinner. We definitely are not doing that again!!!

[SHEANA1226]

That happened to me once my ex's inlaws brought all of his nephews and their girlfriends to dinner we just sucked it up and didn't leave an opening for it to happen again.

[JoanW]

This happened to us last year for Camille's birthday. We took her to Carrabas for dinner, only they showed up with a friend who was visiting from Philly, and asked IN FRONT OF US, if we minded that they brought him along. What were we going to say? The dinner for the four of us, plus the three of them was over $250. And he too ordered something pretty pricey. We'd never been to Carrabas before, and found it to be on the high side, much higher than say Macaroni Grill. And they all ordered appetizers and dessert! No drinks, thankfully, or the bill would have been closer to $300! And the food was nothing special. I've had better meals at WDW!

We sucked it up, but I was p.o'd the rest of the night. We decided to just do the four of us when we celebrate amongs us, we can't rely on the other two to come alone!

Now, if the inlaws are in town, they SPECIFICALLY request separate checks, which forces the issue to pay for your own group.

[simbarel]

I'd be put off at first, order 2.5 drinks, and then would have offered to pay for the entire room (I get really generous when I'm a little lubricated.)

[akleos]

That stinks! I'm sorry you had to go endure that sort of thoughtlessness... by people who are supposed to be friends!

[Teresa]

Originally Posted by Huntermom

There's not much you can do at the time. If this is your DD (I remember you talking about taking her out), I might have pulled her aside and mentioned that money was tight and adding an extra friend was an imposition. She may have then had the grace to at least order lightly.

But if it is your DD, I think that kids always think their parents ahve extra money and another few dollars won't hurt them.


Diane

Ah, Diane - you hit it on the nose. It was DD Samantha. The thing that peeved me was that she asked her friend and her friend's mother if they'd like to come - in front of me. I told her then and there no - it was hard enough to get reservations for 9, I wasn't adding any more people to it.
The BF's youngest brother has spent the whole summer with them (making them frequently miss nights out and other things that they had promised my younger DDs because "Cody doesn't want to do that - he wants to do something else that the girls won't like") The middle brother drove here to pick up Cody, (they live in NJ). Samantha didn't tell me.
They showed up AN HOUR LATE to the restaurant, and got upset when I said, "Samantha, you didn't tell me that you were bringing an extra person, where is he going to sit?" (we were already pretty cramped)
Then, when the waiter asked how the tab would be divided, my Dad and Step-mom said they'd pay their part, and THE BROTHER pointed to me and said "She'll pay for mine" ARGGHHHGHGHGHG!!

And, I had already told Samantha the day before that money was tight right now.

I paid, but I guess from now on, I'll just have to have them over for dinner. Or, I'll just tell them that they are welcome to join me, but they'll have to pick up their own tab.