Forums Closed
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As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
Thank you to each of you who were a part of this community. You made it possible.
And a very special thank you to our Guides (moderators), past and present, who kept our forums a happy place to be. You are the glue that held everything together, and we are forever grateful to you. Thank you aliceinwdw, Caldercup, MrsM, WillCAD, Fortissimo, GingerJ, HiddenMickey, CRCrazy, Eeyoresmom, disneyknut, disneydani, Cam22, chezp, WDWfan, Luvsun, KMB733, rescuesk, OhToodles!, Colexis Mom, lfredsbo, HiddenMickey, DrDolphin, DopeyGirl, duck addict, Disneybine, PixieMichele, Sandra Bostwick, Eeyore Tattoo, DyanKJ130, Suzy Q'Disney, LilMarcieMouse, AllisonG, Belle*, Chrissi, Brant, DawnDenise, Crystalloubear, Disneymom9092, FanOfMickey, Goofy4Goofy, GoofyMom, Home4us123, iamgrumpy, ilovedisney247, Jennifer2003, Jenny Pooh, KrisLuvsDisney, Ladyt, Laughaholic88, LauraBelle Hime, Lilianna, LizardCop, Loobyoxlip, lukeandbrooksmom, marisag, michnash, MickeyMAC, OffKilter_Lynn, PamelaK, Poor_Eeyore, ripkensnana, RobDVC, SHEANA1226, Shell of the South, snoozin, Statelady01, Tara O'Hara, tigger22, Tink and Co., Tinkerbelz, WDWJAMBA, wdwlovers, Wendyismyname, whoSEZ, WildforWD, and WvuGrrrl. You made the magic.
We want to personally thank Sara Varney, who coordinated our community for many years (among so many other things she did for us), and Cheryl Pendry, our Message Board Manager who helped train our Guides, and Ginger Jabour, who helped us with the PassPorter-specific forums and Live! Guides. Thank you for your time, energy, and enthusiasm. You made it all happen.
There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.
So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
And we are no longer charging for the Live Guides. If you have a subscription, it's yours to keep for the lifetime of the Live Guides at no additional cost. The Live Guides will stay online, barring server issues and technical problems, for all of 2019.
That said, PassPorter is not going away. Most of the resources will remain online for as long as we can support them, and after that we will find ways to make whatever we can available. PassPorter means a great deal to us, and to many of you, and we will do our best to keep it alive in whatever way we can. Our server costs are high, and they'll need to come out of our pockets, so in the future you can expect some changes so we can bring those costs down.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing support over the years. Without you, there's no way us little guys could have made something like this happen and given the "big guys" a run for their money. PassPorter was consistently the #3 guidebook after the Unofficial and Official guides, which was really unheard of for such a small company to do. We ROCKED it thanks to you and your support and love!
If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.
So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!
Best wishes for a wonderful and magical new year!
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Welcome! We're happy you've found the PassPorter Community -- the friendliest place to plan your vacation to Walt Disney World, Disney Cruise Line, Disneyland, and the world in general! You are now viewing the PassPorter Message Board Community as a guest, which gives you limited access. As our guest, feel free to browse our messages by selecting the forum you want to visit from the list below.
To post messages and ask questions, join our FREE community today and you'll get access to tools and resources not available to guests, such as our vacation countown timers, "living" avatars, private messaging system, database searches, downloads, and a special PassPorter discount code. Registration is fast, simple, and completely free. Just click the Join Our Community link.
If you think you've already joined, log in below now. If you don't remember your member name or password, please visit our Member Name and Password Recovery page. You are also welcome to contact us.
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09-09-2006, 03:15 PM
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#1
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Community Rank: Explorer 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Near a Tower of Terror at the moment...
Posts: 13,884
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Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
She talked to my parents last night about the V&A thing and said they could just take her, then afterwards, they could meet up with her friends and go over to PI. Her and her friends would "bar hop and drink" and my parents could be the designated drivers. She didn't know, though, how many drinks it would take to get drunk, so she couldn't tell them how long it would be. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/eek.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/ukid.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/jawdrop.gif[/img] My mom said she was shaking so badly, she had to hand the phone to my dad who said, "I don't THINK so." and told her they needed the weekend to decide what they are going to do.
Understand that this person was raised in a conservative home, but not SO conservative that we didn't explore other POVs or belief systems, so it's not like a backlash against oppression or anything. We have always made it clear that imbibing in something (drugs, alcohol, whatever) that causes you to not be in control of your facilities is NOT smart. A glass of wine with dinner, fine, and I cook with wine all the time, but intoxication is a big [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/noway.gif[/img] No one in my family drinks, but DD's bio grandfather is an alcoholic. We've discussed genetics and how it's wise to never even begin drinking, esp if there is a history of alcoholism in your family. None of us has any idea where this is coming from and if she wants to be an idiot, why on earth she thinks that my parents would want to participate???
You have to understand my parents, too. They are world-travelled, reading, hot tea in the evenings, Masterpiece Theater, Dad's a college prof-type people. PI to them would be like going to another PLANET. DD *KNOWS* this and still comes up with this hare-brained idea.
My mom is in bed today (her typical response to "crisis") and pulled the "where did we go wrong?" card [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif[/img]. I've tried to tell her that DDs choices are *DDs* choices and she is the one who will be accountable for them, not any of us. I can see where all this is headed and my dad, especially, just can't take anymore cr*$ from either of my oldest 2. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]
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09-09-2006, 03:24 PM
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#2
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Community Rank: Scout 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Songtan, South Korea
Posts: 4,681
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
Oh dear. You are right. When they "grow" up, per se, it is their choice to do things we would never condone. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]
We are raising our dd in a conservative home and are praying for the best when she is "of age." Bless your heart. Hang in there!
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09-09-2006, 05:40 PM
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#3
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Community Rank: Explorer
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 9,619
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
If your parents said they would be the 'designated drivers' and offered to take them 'clubbing' (so to speak-) I really dont think your daughters reaction is so unusual for a 21 yr old- she isnt an adult, and she has issues, as you have said so often- and shes still a work in progress- I think you need to calm down about her and her choices- and again, this is really between her and your parents- I dont know why you get yourself in the middle- your parents have been raising her- they have made the offers for her bday- you arent really in the mix at all at this point. It seems like you have so many things going on with your own health and your daughters who do live with you and your husband- you should not get yourself all worked up about this-- pick your issues so you can take care of you!!
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09-09-2006, 05:48 PM
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#4
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Community Rank: Explorer
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Cypress....Deep in Southern Illinois, close enough to see the Kentucky blue grass
Posts: 9,546
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
[img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]
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09-09-2006, 05:52 PM
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#5
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Living Seas wannabe
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 31,940
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
Dawn I think that Shelia hit the nail on the head. You need to step aside on this one and let your parents - who have put themselves in this situation - deal with it. Period.
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09-09-2006, 06:14 PM
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#6
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Community Rank: Trailblazer 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Orlando area via Chicago
Posts: 5,424
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
[img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]
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Sponsored links
 | | PassPorter's Free-Book to Walt Disney World
It’s hard to believe anything is free at Walt Disney World; but there are actually a number of things you can get or do for little to no cost. This e-book documents over 200 free or cheap tips to do before you go and after you arrive. You could save a considerable amount of money following these tips. Perhaps more importantly; you can discover overlooked attractions and little-known details most people whiz by on their way to spend money. Click here to see free sample pages from the e-book!
Get this popular e-book free of extra charges when you join the PassPorter's Club for as little as $4.95. A club pass includes access to all our other e-books; e-worksheets; super-size photos; and more! This e-book is also available for separate purchase in the PassPorter Online Store for just $5.95. |
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09-09-2006, 06:29 PM
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#7
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Community Rank: Explorer
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Northern New England
Posts: 12,249
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
I agree with Terri and Sheila, this is between your parents and your daughter. You need to take yourself out of the middle and not let your mom get you so upset. Your mother is manipulating you and not helping your relationship with your DD. Tell your mom she needs to deal with DD directly and not come running to you. She's an adult too. If she lets your DD walk all over her, that's her problem. You can only control one persons behavior-yours.
Diane
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09-09-2006, 07:09 PM
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#8
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Community Rank: Trailblazer
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: East Amherst, NY
Concierge Level: 1
Posts: 5,128
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
I agree. Let your parents decide what to do on this one. And pour yourself a glass of wine and relax!
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09-09-2006, 08:07 PM
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#9
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Community Rank: Explorer
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Near a Tower of Terror at the moment...
Posts: 13,884
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
Y'know, now that I've de-stressed a bit, you all are abolutely right. I think this is my mother being passive agressive again. She always wants to blame me as a bad parent when my DDs mess up. She won't believe that they are doing anything wrong (the recent 18yo who took liquor to work thing [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif[/img]), they are just misunderstood and *I* am the worst of the bunch. Whenever something like this crops up, she always makes sure to call with the "woe is me" tale and then expects me to join her, which I never do, I am a firm believer in their choices are their own and have nothing to do with me nor how I raised them. She also is trying to make me the bad guy, trying to get me to settle it with DD, but I'm not going to touch this one. It's their problem, they can deal with it.
[img]/ubb/images/graemlins/thanx.gif[/img] for the clear sightedness! [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/grouphug.gif[/img]
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Sponsored links
| | PassPorter's Free-Book to Walt Disney World
It’s hard to believe anything is free at Walt Disney World; but there are actually a number of things you can get or do for little to no cost. This e-book documents over 200 free or cheap tips to do before you go and after you arrive. You could save a considerable amount of money following these tips. Perhaps more importantly; you can discover overlooked attractions and little-known details most people whiz by on their way to spend money. Click here to see free sample pages from the e-book!
Get this popular e-book free of extra charges when you join the PassPorter's Club for as little as $4.95. A club pass includes access to all our other e-books; e-worksheets; super-size photos; and more! This e-book is also available for separate purchase in the PassPorter Online Store for just $5.95. |
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09-09-2006, 08:30 PM
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#10
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Community Rank: Legend 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Indiana , USA
Concierge Level: 7
Posts: 26,527
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
Dawn, just wanted to weigh in. I know it's hard to step back, but you have agreed you need to.
I can't help remembering all the times you posted about how your mom would go on and on about how the girls's problems were your making, and they were only being bad because you didn't know how to parent. You warned her, and she still took on your kids because she felt she could do a much better job than you.
Not telling you what to do, but have you thought of telling her that she took your kids because she could do a better job, and so you can't really be their parent anymore?
I'd also call DD and just remind her that Gram and Gramp are not made of money and are wanting to come see her, not her friends.
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09-10-2006, 01:47 PM
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#11
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Community Rank: Explorer
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 13,817
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
[img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]
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09-10-2006, 10:49 PM
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#12
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Community Rank: Explorer
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Near a Tower of Terror at the moment...
Posts: 13,884
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
UPDATE: My mom spent the day in bed again, pouting over DDs and my Dad not being perfect [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif[/img] but my dad talked to the Diva and said flat out, no way is he participating in anything that involves her getting drunk. He told her that he would take her and 2 friends to Medieval Times for dinner (she loves that sort of thing) and if she wants to have a glass of wine with that, fine, but there will be no mixed drinks and he will not have anything to do with her getting drunk. He also said he talked to her about it and that she just couldn't give him a good reason why she would even want to plan such a thing. Maybe we really are out of it, but do people *really* PLAN to go out and get smashed? I guess I was always the designated driver/toilet bowl head holder/cleaner upper/shoe remover, but my friends never PLANNED to get drunk, they just over-did it (and regretted it the next day...the smart ones learned and never did it again)
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09-11-2006, 08:36 AM
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#13
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Chapel Hill, NC USA
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 36,592
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
Yes, Dawn....kids do actually plan to go out and get drunk. This is especially true on their 21st bday. I live in a college town and work on it's campus. We hear about this stuff all the time. Not that I condone that.
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09-11-2006, 09:12 AM
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#14
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Community Rank: Explorer
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 7,569
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
I think your dad is doing just the right thing. Kudos to him.
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09-11-2006, 09:28 AM
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#15
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Community Rank: Explorer
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Kissimmee, FL
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 10,481
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Re: Oldest DD just gets better and better (not!)
Sorry but the last people I wanted to spend my 21st birthday with were my parents. Maybe that is because I didn't have that great a relationship with the. If you daughter wants to "get smashed" then that is HER choice...again SHE IS AN ADULT! If she wants to be irresponsible that is her choice and she will have to live with the consequences. Would you rather have her go out on her own and get drunk with her friends? Honestly I think she is pretty responsible asking for a designated driver. Just because you want to go out drinking doesn't mean you are an alcoholic [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif[/img] Every once in a while I need a night out with friends and a few drinks. Does that make me a bad person?? On my 21st birthday I went out with my boyfriend and a couple of friends. This is a “G” rated board so I won’t tell you what we did.
I agree with the others about you stepping back and letting your folks (who raised her) deal with this. The fact is she has probably been drinking LONG before her 21st birthday...illegally.
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