My patience is running out with 8yo DD and school, I'm just so frustrated About This Page:

[graygables]

We homeschool with a virtual charter school, so technically it's a PS, supervised by teachers, special ed, etc. There is no way that DD would be successful in a brick and mortar school with her social issues and everything else she has going on. She is, however, gifted, but the *laziest* smart kid I've ever met. She refuses to exert any energy in storing information in her brain. She can do a math problem and five minutes later be presented with the same problem and it's as though it's a whole new thing. She is dyslexic and doesn't read fluently, so I wind up forcing her to read and then having to sit there to offer help the whole time. Then, once she's done, she doesn't understand what she has read b/c she's been so focused on the *mechanics* of reading that she wasn't able to ingest the meaning of it. We've tried books on tape, we've tried reading it first (so she's familiar with it), but the same brain-not-plugged-in kicks in and she doesn't remember the word even though we just read it (and pointed at it) with her. I've taken her to a neurologist who diagnosed her w/ Asperger's. The school is blowing off her difficulties b/c there is no way to *demonstrate* it to them. They play a memory game to evaluate her, but she *loves* playing games, so she does fine. We just had an OT evaluation and, although she can't catch a ball at home (or church or anywhere else), she did just fine in the testing environment. This is the same child who has been unable to tie her shoes, but tied a shoe just fine on her 2nd try. We have worked really hard to *NOT* enable her, to force her outside her comfort zone, but this "playing dumb" has gotten on my last nerve.

She had to take an important math test today and all she could focus on was that there were 50 questions. There were *simple* questions that she just guessed on, or if she had just used some simple logic, could have gotten correctly. She's very performance oriented, which is strange considering her lack of performance, and when she got a 70%, she was crying and upset. Well, what do you expect when you don't bother to add 10 and 14 in the 3rd grade???

Thanks for letting me vent. There are no educational options for us, DH (and I) refuse to put them in PS and private schools are out of the question. It would help me out so much if the school would hire a reading tutor for her to take some of the pressure off, get her reading on her own, and get her taking some responsibility for her own schoolwork, but they have fought me every inch of the way. Ugh.

[SHEANA1226]

HERE IS SOME FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

[krisk11]

Here are some homework/school work pixies Homework with your child can be challenging under the best of circumstances so it must really be difficult for you.

[MontiMouse]

I know how frustrating it can be when you know your child can do the work but just doesn't put the effort into it! Here's some pixie dust for you (and your DD)

[PoohNTigger]

Sending tons of your way

[Cheriemek]

Good luck to you both!!! I'm sending you a Schoolwork Angel!

[HiddenMickey]

I know you don't want to send her to Public school, but just think about doing it. The fact that she seems to be able to do well in testing for others may be a clue that she is having issues with your teaching her. It is really hard to learn from your parents...I remember my Dad trying to teach me various things...and I would tune him out.

A lot of what you describe has been seen in my kids at various times and we've been able to get through a lot of it with time and maturing. My DD is also quite smart but very lazy and usually does just enough to get by. At other times, she reaches beyond what she can do and overextends herself. My DS had many of the same reading problems you describe (except he is not dyslexic) and is just now at nearly 12 really getting a handle on reading. He still has a really hard time with new words and often misses the meanings of things because he misses some words.

We love our public schools. My only quibble with them so far was the whole word reading method they used for my son. He really needed a phonics-based program.

I know you've had a hard time with the public schools in the past, but maybe it's worth a try again. It might just be a good thing for your relationship with your daughter and for her learning. Since the school you "attend" now won't help with her extra needs, you just may be able to get that help in the public setting.

Good luck. I just wanted to throw this out there for you to think about.

-HiddenMickey

[MegglesMom]

[DISNEYGOOF]

Dawn, sending to DD and and to you.

[LorinMO]

I am so sorry you are feeling frustrated with your daughter.

We have several friends who's children have been diagnosed with Asperger's in the past two years. Both are doing extremely well a public school environment. I think that your daughter could do very well if given the opportunity. It would take your working with the teacher's and administration to make it successful.

Our son is dyslexic and we have found the SPIRE program to work wonders for him.

Good luck. Sending you

[2princessmom]

I have no suggestions. I think no matter what school system you are in you can find issues and problems with it. PS are required to help the students and if you are an involved parent you can work wonders and make sure that you get all your services.

It is hard. Mine are young enough at the moment to not have issues but we will see next year!

[graygables]

I should add that there really is *NO* way that they can go to our PS. We were asked to withdraw our older two and homeschool them b/c of several deep-rooted issues we have with the schools (failure to enforce their own policies, wanting to show R-rated movies to 15yos, teachers screaming enough to cause asthma attacks, another teacher purposely destroyed one DD's project b/c she didn't like her, etc) It seemed that I was in someone's office at least once a week and they didn't want to abide by their own rules (which was repeatedly pointed out to them). We have so many politics going on in our system, it's *really* ugly (our superintendent "retired" so he could collect his retirement, but is still employed as the superintendent and gets that salary, too ).

I did have DD in the Brownie troop for awhile, but the kids were just so mean to her that it was not productive. Yes, I understand that children have to learn to deal with mean and jerky kids, but not at the expense of their *education* and a delicate self-esteem. I've just decided that after the next meeting, if they refuse to hire a tutor for her, I'm just going to have to do it on my own. It's just an expense we can't handle right now.