Utterly Disgusted! About This Page:

[CelticChick]

Sending lots of pixie dust to Kristi and that her DH can sort his problems out, if and when he returns home.

[Wendyismyname]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and tons of pixie dust!

Yes, I've suggested counseling. that's all I can do. They still have quite a bit of $$ left from the settlement, so they can live comfortably without working. She's on leave and he has been looking for a job. Since I stay at home, I didn't realize really how hard it was to find a job. Or so it seems.

The cool thing is, aside from the house, one car is hers, the other is his, they have separate bank accounts. It's all his and hers. So I guess that really is a good thing in a instance like this, otherwise I'm traditional, you pool everything together.

Anyway, she's here right now. My my she's doing really well, as far as emotions go. I was a wreck when I kicked my first husband to the curb. But she's doing really well.
Since this isn't the first time he's taken off, I think she's just waiting for him to come home and the stuff will hit the fan, then cool off.
Ben and I decided a long long time ago to not get into anybody's business because it's their bed they're making, they have to lie in it. Although it is really really hard for me to just step back and watch.

You guys certainly are the best. I think I feel just so much better about the situation because Kris is here, I've looked her in the eyes and I know she's strong. Mad. But definitely will be a-ok.
Kristy and I clash alot. We both are very stubborn and opinionated. I'm her friend more than an aunt because there's only 3 years age difference.

I personally think she should contact a lawyer, and tell him that he adbandoned her and my nephew, but I know she's not going to do that.

Bad thing is, Kris and I really cannot discuss any of this right now because both our kids are here.

Thank you again for letting me vent and rant and all that stuff!!

[Tara O'Hara]

Wendy, I don't blame you for being angry, but you are doing more than you know by just listening to Kris. Continue to support her no matter what. She needs it! SHe is lucky to have a wonderful Aunt like you!

[kv3291]

Wendy,

This is truly a horrible situation. The most important things to remember are: tell her that what he is doing is wrong (don't enable also), but also tell her that you will be there for her no matter what...ie, staying with him, or without him! ANd do lots of listening. With family like you to help her, she will find her way!

[IdahoDisneyMom]

Wendy,
I don't know what to say except I'm sorry and I hope she'll be okay.

thoughts and prayers to you and your family

Stephanie

[Beth L.]

Oh Wendy, this is just so sad! Any addiction is difficult for the person going through it but it's even harder for the family to live with. (Coming from a family with a history of alcoholism I can relate.) It's easy for any of us to say walk away but that's not always the easy thing to do when your the spouse of one with an addiction. Kristy sounds like a very strong woman who is dealing with the situation in the best way she can and I'm glad to hear that she is open to counsiling. She is very lucky to have you as an aunt and a friend that loves and supports her. Sounds to me like you're doing all the right things even though you are so angry (and I don't blame you one bit) with Harry for what he's doing to his family. Hopefully when Harry gets home, Kristy will have the strength to tell him that to continue with this relationship, that he needs to go into a twelve step program to conquer his demons. Sending to Kristy and loads of for you.

[rescuesk]

Oh, wow!



Has Kristy tried calling Gambler's Anonymous? I am sure they have family counseling available, and it might help her deal with Harry a little better.

Of course, if she keeps taking him back, she is an enabler and he will never change or grow up. Sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the hardest ones to teach.

for both of them and for their children. And to you for being such a caring supportive aunt!

[GATechGal]

Wendy,
Kris is very lucky to have you for moral support. I agree with the suggestions above that she seek help with Gambler's Annoymous. I would also suggest that she put some sort of watch on her children's social security numbers with the credit bureau. A neighbor of our's (that everybody loved and nobody would have suspected of EVER doing anything dishonest) got credit cards in both her children's names and ran up HUGE bills that never got paid. So this ruined thier credit. Her daughter could not get a loan when she turned 21 to buy a car. It was a REAL mess. It would be bad for this to happen Kris's children.

[Wendyismyname]

I guess Harry called Kris on saturday night. He apologized and asked if he could come home. She was very much shocked as this was the first time he's ever apologized or even asked to come home!
Last time it was "So, I left you a $100,000 if you can't make it on that, you can't make it at all"

So anyway, he called from Colorado. His mom lives there but yet, he's not even visited her, just been gambling.

i don't know what's going to happen to them, but Kris knows I'm here 100% if she needs a sounding board. the house is in her name only, she has the deed locked up in a safe, her car is in both their names though. there's no credit cards and they have his and her bank accounts.

Thanks so much for the Pixie dust you guys. It's helped me tremendously and I just feel so much better!!