Can I move??? About This Page:

[maryssasmom]

I have a custody question that I am not sure anyone may be able to give me some insight on but I figured you were all so nice and so smart that I would give it a try anyway.
I have an 8 year old dd. Her dad and I never married and we have joint custody with me being primary - she lives with me.
My current boyfriend of almost 7 years may have to take a job out of state (VT, we currently live in CT). I cannot find my ppwk on the custody (I left my lawyer a message in regards to this as well as asking for a copy of the ppwk) but is there a way he can stop me? Legallly can he make it not possible to leave the state?
I have spoken to him about this and the first time he said that I have to do what I have to do and never once has said I cannot go. He was kind of funny tonight and my bf said he looked as if he hated me so now I am panicking.
Does anyone know if there is a way he can stop me? I am thinking he may be able to although he might not. This is not fair to me nor to my current bf - who is having a tough time getting a job in ct and this may be the only hope to us. My ex may break up a relationship.
Please help!!!!!!

[DrDolphin]

not being a lawyer I highly recommend you talk with yours and get a copy of your paperwork. I know when my sister wanted to move to Portland with her new husband - she had to have my niece's father's written permission to remove her from the state since they both share custody of my niece. Without the permission, she could have been prosecuted for kidnapping. Like I said - definately speak with your attorney - each state has different laws. Have you checked your state govt website for info on this?

[DCLFANATiC]

Sorry, I don't have any answers for you, but i just wanted to say and i hope everything turns out OK !

[Diz]

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Like I said - definately speak with your attorney - each state has different laws.

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I have read cases where this type of situation was battled out in the courts. Unless your ex-boyfriend is willing to sign legal paperwork allowing this, you probably will have a fight on your hands.

[graygables]

You an get a copy of your court order from the local courthouse where it was filed. If you can't get hold of your attorney, that's where I would start. Next, you need to see what the laws are in CT. In my situation, I had full custody and it was not spelled out in my order that I had to notify anyone, so I didn't, but I subsequently learned that if my ex lived locally (he didn't), that he could have fought me. Just make sure that your attorney (and you check on him/her) dots his "i"s and crosses his "t"s b/c loopholes can make a court order fall apart around your ears (just got done with a child support issue with mine, let me tell you! ) Here's a dose of that it goes smoothly and doesn't open a can o' worms for you!

[vsonnier]

I agree that you definitely need to check with your lawyer to ensure that you aren't violating any rules with this one. One other thing you may want to think about is getting your child to your husband for visitation. I know in Texas when a parent moves away from the other parent, the one who does the moving is responsible for providing transportation back and forth for visitation. My mother drug me ALL over the state of Texas after she divorced my dad (we moved 23 times!) and I know she was required by law to provide the transportation for me to visit my dad (meaning if we lived too far away to drive, she had to purchase my plane ticket, etc.). I'm really really bad at Geography, so I don't know how far VT is from CT, but it's something to think about.

Hopefully you will get all this worked out smoothly. and I'm sending you a ton of

[Colexis Mom]

I don't have an answer for you, but sending you tons of pixie during this difficult time

[loobyoxlip]

I don't have joint custody. I have full custoday and he has reasonable visitation (not that he used it, but...) And my papers still state I have to have his permission to move out of state (even though he lives in FL ) If the other party does not agree, you will have to go to court and have a judge decide. My friend did this and the judge even ruled that both parties would have to provide transportation (they met 1/2 way - a 2.5 hour drive for each of them) every other weekend! I think it might be best to get a new court order anyway, so he's not calling saying he wants your dd to come visit every week, etc. THis way the judge can set up specific visitation times that don't inconvenience either party.

[*Pixie*Dust*]

Here's some information for you. But you definitely need to speak with your lawyer. CT Custody/ Moving

[snoozy]

You said it wasn't fair to you or your boyfriend but how fair is it to your child if she will not be able to see her father like she does now. This is not about you or your boyfriend its about a little girl and if that little girl will be able to see her daddy.



Don't blame your ex if this relationship doesn't work out, if your current boyfriend really loves you nothing could break you up.



Your ex has joint custody and has every right to be concerned and has the right to contest this if his visitation rights will be cut off or limited. Don't blame him for wanting to be in his daughter's life as much as he can. Has this man ever giving you a reason to believe that he is not a good father? Does your daughter love her daddy? It sounds to me like you need to work towards the middle and what is best for your daughter. She should come first not any of the adults involved here.



And you better talk to a lawyer and get your paperwork staight. If he has joint custody and you take her out of state he can have you charged with kidnapping. He has to give written permission for you to do that.