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My DH's BFF (the best man) wanted his brother invited - we did invite him but he had moved and the invite never found him, so we hand delivered another invite. Then he called and requested his GF of two weeks come along. SURE! Her name was the same as mine and spelt exactly the same (very rare) - we said yes just to keep peace. To thank us for the added expense, together they purchased us a fantastic(wait for it) set of 6 steak knives (the sort found at the $ store)...Be careful but don't let it ruin your day. Have fun!
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I be the exception here. I don't think your mom's BFF was trying to be rude or insult you by offering to pay. I just think she knew it was going to be adding to your expense and wanted to try, in her own way to be gracious.
If she is really close to your mom, she should have called and talked to one of you first and let you know what was happening.
And remember if this is your mom's closest friend, you need to tread very carefully so that your mom doesn't end up feeling like she has to be the referee.
I know you want this wedding to be perfect, but the guests, location, and food are not nearly as important as the commitment you are making. There are only two really important people that need to be there, the rest is just icing on the cake.
I agree with Huntermom in that I think mom's BFF was probably trying to cause you the least amount of stress possible when she threw that note on the bottom, but if I were you, I would have been irritated too. IMO she went about this the entirely wrong way. She should have called your mom, or better yet you, and discussed this in person. I'd bet you wouldn't have felt offended if she would have done that because you would have been able to have a conversation (and frankly, it's the respectful thing to do- she's not some distant relative twice removed, she's your mom's BFF. I imagine they speak on a regular enough basis that this could have been brought up.) I'd also guess that she thought that this was the easy way to do it instead of just calling you or your mom.
I also don't blame you for not including the girlfriend on the invite. How are you supposed to keep track of random significant others of people you don't keep regular contact with?
I'd just let it roll off your back, but it's always good to vent. People never cease to amaze me when it comes to wedding ettiquite in particlar. No kidding, we got an EMAIL invite FORWARDED for a wedding on DH's side of the family a few month ago- oh yeah right!
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I saw your second post and know you are feeling better about things already but I thought I'd share to make you feel a bit better...
My DMil brought my DH's Ex-Gf and her rude obnoxious child (not from DH) to our wedding (uninvited) to try to ruin our wedding. While it did piss me off, I was the better person and was diplomatic. Needless to say, I don't see much of DMil these days, LOL
I would be upset but looking at the big picture it's possible something might come
up and she won't be there. We had so many people RSVP and then about 20 didn't
show up after all. Very weird but it does happen.
I saw your second post and know you are feeling better about things already but I thought I'd share to make you feel a bit better...
My DMil brought my DH's Ex-Gf and her rude obnoxious child (not from DH) to our wedding (uninvited) to try to ruin our wedding. While it did piss me off, I was the better person and was diplomatic. Needless to say, I don't see much of DMil these days, LOL
WOW I hope the D in DMil stands for something other than Dear! Then again my DH invited his ex
sister-in-law to the wedding that already had his DD (ex's daughter not bio) and her family there. I didn't
mind but boy both sides of the family were talking ALL DAY LONG. They were worried about my reaction.
__________________
Last edited by eff051102; 08-24-2010 at 04:03 PM..
WOW I hope the D in DMil stands for something other than Dear! Then again my DH invited his ex
sister-in-law to the wedding that already had his DD (ex's daughter not bio) and her family there. I didn't
mind but boy both sides of the family were talking ALL DAY LONG. They were worried about my reaction.
Hahaha, I'm so used to the abbreviations but yes I can think of another word that begins with the letter D and also has four letters, LOL
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We were getting RSVPs back from DH's Dad's family from invites that said "Mr & Mrs" for "7 will attend"... I had to ask DFIL 2B (at that point) to please work with his siblings to understand this was not a family reunion and they were not to bring 5 children...most of which were college age, had never met my DH and we only interested in attending because "they have beer".... right. NOT!! Needless to say - DFIL held an engagement party of the "part of the family unable to attend the wedding" (yes that was the language on the invite) - can meet the bride and rekindle (uh, huh) their relationship with the groom (DH's parents divorced when he was 13, mom moved the boys away when he was 13 and DH doesn't know 75% of his extended family...)
for a smooth wedding day - and to be honest - I can't remember 50% of our guests at the wedding... I "know" they were there... but do I remember them? Even with a video and 1400 photos - nope.
Geez!! Do you ladies have some stories!! This one takes the rude cake, methinks:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mzozzietj
My DMil brought my DH's Ex-Gf and her rude obnoxious child (not from DH) to our wedding (uninvited) to try to ruin our wedding. While it did piss me off, I was the better person and was diplomatic. Needless to say, I don't see much of DMil these days, LOL
Although this one made me laugh and laugh:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mdobereiner
No kidding, we got an EMAIL invite FORWARDED for a wedding on DH's side of the family a few month ago- oh yeah right!l
If I'd only known it was acceptable to send e-invites!! I would have saved a ton on stationary!!
Thank you all for sharing. Makes me feel a little more normal.
Things are all okay ... my mom and I talked it out last night, and we both agreed that it'll be easier for everyone if I let it go. So it's gone. Too many other things to worry about. Like figuring out the nearest hospital if she goes into labor during the party ...
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at least I know she won’t get crazy drunk and make a scene!!
Tread carefully, here! You never know, lol!
Anyway, I agree, if this isn't going to break the bank then just let them come. Glad everyone is looking forward to the grand event and there's no stress between anyone.
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