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PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.

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So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!

Best wishes for a wonderful and magical new year!

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Old 12-23-2008, 03:21 PM   #1
Stripes
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Talking Christmas Dining Plan

My Christmas dining plans - feel free to join in:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door; they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. You can't find it any other time of year, so drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's a treat - enjoy it! Have one for me....have two.

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of each. If you don't like mincemeat, have two apple and one pumpkin.

9. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips and start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Merry Christmas Everyone!
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Old 12-23-2008, 03:37 PM   #2
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I laughed at loud. very clever and very funny
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Old 12-23-2008, 04:31 PM   #3
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Fun-nee!!!
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Old 12-23-2008, 05:02 PM   #4
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About the eggnog - ask if it's spiked. If it isn't, do it yourself. EVERYONE is much funnier after you've had a couple of glasses.

I love your list. I'll try to follow it.
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Old 12-24-2008, 01:49 AM   #5
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Love it!
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