Standing firm on this! Maybe... About This Page:

[HeatherD]

I love my in-laws - really! And they have proved invaluable when travelling with us to Disneyland (annually) and our big cruise/WDW trip in December. But does every Disney trip have to involve them? Sigh! I think so...

DH will be at a conference at the Contemporary in Oct 2009, so I managed to convince him that it's a perfect time to take a longer cruise. And he agreed! So we booked a 7-day Western cruise for our family of 4 back in April. Found out a week later about the fuel surcharges and thought, "we are lucky we decided to book it then and avoided that!" As long as we don't make changes, we don't have to pay the surcharge. We also commented that it will be nice for the 4 of us to get away and do something, just us (selfish, I know).

So, this weekend? MIL started talking to us about convincing FIL that they should go. Of course, she thinks that we should just switch staterooms so that we have connecting ones again. I checked with Disney, as long as we don't change the people in our stateroom, we can change the stateroom itself without incurring the surcharge. The problem is, the connecting staterooms all seem to only have 3 beds, not the 4th fold down bed that DD will sleep on. Change is inevitable, if we connect.

I told DH last night that we either change and have to pay the surcharge or we stay where we are and simply tell them that they can get a room next to us, but not connecting. Luckily, DH agrees with me! Now, let's see if we can stick with this....

To end, I feel I have to add that it's not a huge problem to have them go with us. Better to have grandparents that are "too" involved than not present, I know, and we are very fortunate with all that they do for us. So, we don't begrudge them going along. We just have to grumble a little about it to ourselves that if it's Disney, it'll include them. The only 2 recent Disney trips we've taken without them, we've expressly told them that they weren't invited (in nicer words). We're not willing to go that far for this trip - it would just be nice to take a "just us" trip every now and then.

Know what I mean?

[HansenFam]

We have a similar situation, but the trip together is a gift from FIL and also includes sister-in-law (sorry, haven't learned all these codes yet) and her son and live-in boyfriend. We all get along fairly well and there's enough varied interest to keep us from doing everything together (I hope...). My issue is more that my nephew - who has some challenges - tends to be the center of many decisions that are made regarding what we do. My husband is pretty good about not feeling like we have to cater to them and we have actually booked different excursions, which I'm very glad of. But can't help but feel like we need to be a little sensitive, since they're paying...I hate that obligatory twinge, and would rather it was genuine! Plus, both my husband and son tend to be "loners" and would much rather we do things "just us" - so it's up to me to coordinate things that we do together, and - very selfishly - I'm not overly fond of my MIL...
Anyway, I say all of that to affirm you, Heather, about standing FIRM! Don't change the reservations you've already made for JUST what you wanted, especially if you've got solid back-up in that decision from your DH (hope that's the right initials! ). You're not the one proposing that anyone accompany you, so I see it as NOT your gig to have to accomodate! (but as I said, I tend to be selfish sometimes...) But if it compromises your family's comfort, it really is NOT right or fair of anyone to ask you to make that kind of change. GOOD LUCK in standing your ground! Be the MOM!!!

[OffKilter_Lynn]

I know what you mean!

Family... gotta love 'em! At least you're still going on a cruise and that's the important thing!

[awrightsel]

My DH has been wonderful about including my mom in on all of our Disney trips. Sometimes she can get my nerves even, but in the end I am always glad she is with us and I would not have it any other way. My MIL passed away a little over a year ago and I wish that I included her in on more of these sorts of things like I do with my mom. I think my husband realizes that my mom will not always be around and that we should include her while we still can and she can still enjoy the trips. Honestly, if the connecting rooms is a big deal to your in-laws then I encourage you to pay the surcharge and make them happy. I also understand your need to not change the plan, but they will not always be able to accompany you and I encourage you to make this a trip to remember, even it means making a change. I wish that I had done more of that with my MIL.

[mackeymouse]

You should definately stand firm. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with non-connecting rooms. A couple of years ago, we had a family reunion, and three different families, my own included, and none were connecting rooms. We were actually on different floors. We all had a blast regardless.

Trust me, your kids aren't gonna remember whether the rooms were connected or not. They are gonna remember all the fun times that they had with grandma and grandpa. That is the important thing.

When I was 15, I lost my last grandparent. He was the only one I ever really knew. My grandma on my dad's side passed away long before I came along. My grandpa on my dad's side had Alzheimers until he passed, so I never really knew him all that well. My mamaw on my mom's side died when I was 4. She was very involved in my life, though I only vaguely remember it.

Now, my cousins have a grandma (on the other side of the family) that is very involved. And they, like you, are sometimes a little overwhelmed, sometimes wanting "just us" time.

Since it is the hand I have been dealt, I usually do not sulk over it too much, but there are times (like this one, listening to your story of the grandparents) that I do wish I had memories of vacations and holidays.

So, if the grandparents are coming, consider that the ultimate gift to your kids. Trust me. But, leaving your room where it is is not uncalled for at all.

[Dave Marx]

We've sailed often with family, but the only time we'll take connecting rooms is when we had a bunch of kids to keep an eye on (Allie, plus our nieces). There is a reason we move out of our parents houses, isn't there?

There is some convenience to having connecting rooms if the grandparents volunteer to watch the kids - the kiddos can be tucked in their own beds while Grandma and/or Grandpa enjoy the comforts of their own stateroom. In our case, the lack of a connecting door hasn't been all that inconvenient for the couple of times that comes up on a typical cruise. Grandma/Grandpa brings a book, and stays in our room with Alexander. It works especially well when we have a verandah.

[HeatherD]

There is some convenience to having connecting rooms if the grandparents volunteer to watch the kids - the kiddos can be tucked in their own beds while Grandma and/or Grandpa enjoy the comforts of their own stateroom.

Yeah, that would be the "selling point" (for lack of a better word) to changing the ressies. So, I guess we'll see - I think we're waiting for her to bring it up again, rather than approaching her with what we've found. The ball, as they say, is in her court.

[dmpyron]

If you change categories, you will not only have to pay the fuel surcharge, you'll have to pay the current rate for the new room. Even if you went down a category, you might find yourself paying more money!!! Even before the surcharge.

[HeatherD]

OK, so the GPs are going with. We were actually able to change our room to a connecting one without incurring the fuel surcharge (Thanks to a very nice person at the Castaway Club number). So, we officially have 4 of us in one room with the GPs in the connecting room - but the kids will most likely switch out nights and we will be 3 and 3.

Thanks for the input! Like I said, it wasn't the "changing" so much as the point of us going alone. All things considered, it could be a lot worse!

Now, we are thinking about convincing my parents to go, too! We'll confront (er, I mean invite) them shortly after my sis moves to Michigan, while they're still feeling sad about missing grandkids and all that....

[awrightsel]

I'm so glad that everything worked out! I hope you all have a wonderful cruise!