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It's time to move on and move forward.

PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.

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If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.

So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!

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Old 03-10-2008, 02:13 AM   #1
stretch2864
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Question What would you do?

I work on a unit in a local hospital, so I work in close quarters with the same people on a regular basis. There is one nurse who works there that is driving me crazy! She is recently divorced, and her ex happens to be a doctor at the same hospital. She has several children with whom she shares custody. The problem is that she uses any opportunity at all to bash her ex in front of all of her co-workers. By the time I finally saw this doctor on the unit, I had a bad impression of him just because of the way she talked about him. It bugs me to no end because of all the hospitals in the city, she chose to work in the same hospital as her ex! Yet she complains about how "awkward" it is to HAVE to work with her ex. Then she goes on to complain endlessly about her kids, yet she and her ex have created these "money grubbing monsters." She was complaining because her oldest kids were balking at going to a cheaper salon to have their eyebrows waxed. Hello!!! Why are you paying for a 14 year old to have her eyebrows waxed in the first place? She went on to tell about all the things her kids have that she pays for which included $2000 laptops each as well as $300 cell phones as well as flat screen TVs and custom furniture in their bedrooms. This was on top of buying clothes and expensive jewelry. Then she can't figure out why they are spoiled!!! She herself was going on and on about having her face chemically peeled every month to make her look younger.

She is really loud, and you get the picture that she talks non-stop about her divorce, ex, kids, money etc. I try to ignore it for the most part, but it is really hard when she is talking non-stop through her shift. For not really knowing the woman, I know WAY TOO MUCH about her and her family. Obviously I can't tell her to be quiet, but would it be appropriate to ask her not to bash her husband at work since we do see him from time to time on our unit? She chose to work there; nobody forced her to. So she went into this knowing that she might see him there. I don't find it to be very professional on her part. The thing is that she has engrained herself into a clique of nurses who "sympathize" with her and just fuel her even more. So if I say something, I am going to look like the bad guy. What would you do? Would you continue to ignore it, say something to her, or maybe say something to the nurse manager?
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Old 03-10-2008, 02:21 AM   #2
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I would talk to her supervisor. This woman is behaving in an incredibly unprofessional and inappropriate manner which makes doing something about it her supervisor's responsibility. I think the next time she started spouting off in front of me I would simply say something like"I'm really not comfortable hearing all this personal information" and walk away.
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Old 03-10-2008, 02:46 AM   #3
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I agree with revral.
Or, you could say "Really? I just can't imagine how hard it is to work with your ex. I bet you've applied to EVERY other hospital in the city! - Hope you hear from one of them soon."
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Old 03-10-2008, 03:08 AM   #4
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I would talk to your supervisor and make her aware of how uncomfortable this is making you and ask her to do something about it.
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Old 03-10-2008, 08:27 AM   #5
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While I agree that she is being unprofessional, there are several things that might be good to know. How recent is the divorce? What were the circumstances of the divorce? Did he leave for a younger woman, maybe another nurse at the hospital? She needs to find a better place to vent. Does the hospital have counselors that work with employees? Maybe a "this sounds like it has been very hard for you" and a gentle nudge that direction might be good.

The kids as a subtle (ok, not so subtle) may of bragging about how much money they have.
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Old 03-10-2008, 08:41 AM   #6
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Ugh I so dislike people like that
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Old 03-10-2008, 08:47 AM   #7
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Why can't people just get along?
If you approach your supervisor and she agrees to speak with this person, I hope it all works out!
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Old 03-10-2008, 09:27 AM   #8
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Ahh... a spotlight hound. Some people should learn when to just keep quiet.
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Old 03-10-2008, 11:43 AM   #9
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I would go to her manager - and if that doesn't help, then to her manager. I don't even have a flat screen TV!! It is completely unnecessary and inappropriate for her to be talking like that about her personal business, especially since the other party is a doctor at that facility who deserves more respect for his position than that. I hope you are able to resolve it!
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Old 03-10-2008, 12:12 PM   #10
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I too would go to the supervisor to say something. She's acting totally unprofessional and what she is saying can be taken as slander towards the physician.

What would the hospital do if this MD's patients heard her saying things like that?

That's the one thing I can't stand about the profession I'm proud to belong to-the "cliques" that grown, adult women form. It's unfortunate that flabberchops has run to the cliques to air her dirty laundry.
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Old 03-10-2008, 12:51 PM   #11
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Thanks everyone for your words of advice. I think I will talk with my supervisor the next time I work.

From what I have gathered, she is relatively recently divorced. Being divorced myself, I do understand the initial anger. However when I vented, it was to friends in a private setting. I think she especially should be extra cognizant of what she is saying since she chose to work in the same institution as her ex-husband. The key word here is CHOSE!!! She may be bitter for some time to come, but I wish she would keep it to herself as she extends the ex-husband bashing to men in general. Maybe I should step up the effort to gush about how wonderful my DBF is!
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Old 03-10-2008, 04:59 PM   #12
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She needs to get out (not date) with friends, but then that could also be the problem. Maybe she was so centered on him and the kids, she no longer has friends. I have a friend who is still venting about 30+ years. Boy, does she need to get a life.
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Old 03-10-2008, 05:07 PM   #13
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I worked with a co-worker who insisted on sharing her lifetime woes with everyone. Is there somewhere where you can occupy yourself that's out of earshot of her talking? Or maybe you can just tell her that you sympathise with her situation, but since her and her ex both work there then you don't feel right hearing about their personal lives. I don't think complaining to the manager is going to do any good.
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Old 03-10-2008, 06:11 PM   #14
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Why not write her an anonomous letter stating how you understand her situation but venting to co-workers is not professional and you would appreciate she confines the comments to the lunchroom or other private location. You would not need to sign your name but sign off from a concerned 'friend' (always showing consideration for her position - maybe she has no real friends to discuss this with). You could leave it where you know she will find it - locker, lunch pail, coffee mug, clipboard etc
Best wishes....
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Old 03-10-2008, 08:33 PM   #15
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I would probably try to say something on the sly to the manager. It really is very unprofessional of her to be doing that.
Good luck!

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