WWYD...dance recital/costume HUGE issue - UPDATED 5/31 in OP About This Page:

[rescuesk]

[eff051102]

I was in YEARS of dance and we enrolled our foster girl (11) in dance and
ordering several months in advance seems to be the norm. However when we
were measured our moms were always there so they were in charge of the
costumes fit. The same with our foster girl. That might be a per studio thing.

You might want to check with the dance studio to see if they have a policy on
matching costumes. If they do, they may not let the girls dance if they don't
match. Just something to keep in mind.

[klositis]

We did dance for 1 year and thats all I could take of it. My dd who was a little "fluffy" then ( and still is) was made to wear this incredibily stupid outfit that would have made someone toothpick thin look dumb. Once I saw the outfit and realized that the recital would be months later, I asked about the "growth" thing and was told she would wear that outfit or not be on stage...... well she got the outfit( to the tune of 80.00) and it was even worse than we thought. I again asked what could be done because she was so upset about the way she looked in it ( it was pretty bad) told the same thing quite rudely, if she dosent wear it , she wont go on stage.... so I left the outfit at the studio, told them they could wear the ------thing, went to the bank, stopped bank draft, made Disney reservations and headed for our first trip to the world, where no one cares how you look!!! HEAVENS I HATE STUPID people!!!!

[Joanne929]

hope you get it worked out!

[chelle89]

Good Luck!!!

[tinker_me_happy]

My daughter just had her senior dance recital the beginning of the month. I have been the president of the dance parent group for years and assisted at the studio she just graduated from. Costume companies are NOT easy to deal with. They ALL have their own sizing! We always measure our girls in Nov and order by Dec so the competition team will have their costumes. This year EVERYTHING ran LATE!! One entire group of girls had a costume that didnt fit right. LUCKILY the owner of the studio sent them ALL back and said remake them or cancel my order! They were remade but they came in the night before competition - no time for alterations! OH and I KNOW the costume you mean!! (I've looked at a LOT of costume catalogs!) I am confused though- do you have the costume in hand or not? Did you end up with a Smaller costume than the one that was ordered for you? I know sometimes our girls end up swapping, but only if it works out for both depending on how the costume falls. All I can say after 15 years of being a dance mom, and too many alterations to count is GOOD LUCK!! I hope you can find some fabric to help remedy the pants!

[graygables]

Originally Posted by tinker_me_happy

I am confused though- do you have the costume in hand or not? Did you end up with a Smaller costume than the one that was ordered for you? I know sometimes our girls end up swapping, but only if it works out for both depending on how the costume falls. All I can say after 15 years of being a dance mom, and too many alterations to count is GOOD LUCK!! I hope you can find some fabric to help remedy the pants!

I do have the costume in hand as of this morning. I was given smaller pants than they ordered b/c DD's pants fit the other girl (who can't wear the ones I have, either). The studio's take is they only have to inconvenience one girl instead of two, and she's not a "pet", so it doesn't really matter that they trash her self-esteem.

Y'know, I was a dance mom with my older 2. Their studio (in another state) had the mom come in with the dancer, watch and confirm the measurements, look at the chart and HELP decide what size to order b/c MOM knows the child and the growth history, then initial the non-refundable order! Besides...you can ALWAYS take a costume in, you can hardly EVER let it out. That's just a no-brainer to me.

DD is so upset, she's crying over the whole mess. If it weren't for the fact that she's Asperger's and she worked SO hard, even with a broken ankle (that's a whole other rant against this studio), I'd outright say forget it. 9yo is in the same recital (different dance, totally streetwalker costume...I DETEST it) and is over-the-top excited about it, so that doesn't help either. I wish I could just cancel the whole thing and wash my hands of the studio, but I need to do what will make DD feel the best about herself.

[Teresa]

Dawn - I hope you can make them work. The studio is soo in the wrong to make you have to do all of the work to make the costume fit, and not the other mom.
Can she maybe help out with what you have to do? I know - odd question and from the sounds of it - maybe not.
I'd be livid by now - Even if the costume they ordered didn't fit - they had NO right to give it away and I'd think there could be some legal issues there - you PAID for an XL - not a L.
I'm very upset for you.
Ugh - I HATE cliques!!

[tinker_me_happy]

Originally Posted by graygables

Y'know, I was a dance mom with my older 2. Their studio (in another state) had the mom come in with the dancer, watch and confirm the measurements, look at the chart and HELP decide what size to order b/c MOM knows the child and the growth history, then initial the non-refundable order! Besides...you can ALWAYS take a costume in, you can hardly EVER let it out. That's just a no-brainer to me.

First off I would INSIST that you get financial compensation for the change in pants!! I would INSIST on getting the larger pants but that probably won't happen!! ALSO how you describe your old studio is how we do it! The moms make the final decision on size!! We measure and let the moms know where their child falls in the chart then THEY decide on the size. I have not only altered my own daughter's costumes, but many others as well. And it is DEFINATELY easier to take in than let out! I try to let other moms know that when they are on the fence about size. One mom this year actually went down a size (her daughter is 16) because she felt the Adult Medium was too loose (it was NOT - her daughter is short so everything had to be hemmed!). She got all Adult Smalls this year and they were TOO tight and didn't fit well AT ALL. UGH! Why don't people listen!!

Second, PLEASE find another studio for your daughters to dance at (if they still want to dance after this fiasco!~) You pay a lot of money for them to enjoy this activity! Find someone YOU are happy with! AND it is OK to go and Interview studio owners ahead of time and ask them how they would deal with this situation. If you haven't paid your final payment for the year to your current studio, I would hold back money until you are compensated! Sometimes it is totally NOT the studio owners fault when costumes are bad, but SOMETIMES it is! And EVEN when it is not, they need to be HELPFUL in fixing the situation!

for your alterations and your daughter's self esteem!

[Cheriemek]

Before switching the youngest 2 to Irish Step Dancing, the 4 were in a traditional dance school. Oldest 2 took 2 classes, so I had to buy 6 costumes at a rediculously cost. And they were so cheaply made! One had a mermaid costume (danced to "Under the Sea") and parts of it were stapled on!
Anyway, I much preferred the way the Step Dancing school handled costumes. You rented one for the year. It was a beautiful, well made dress and the kids wore it many times.

[3girlsmom]

WE GET TO DECIDE OUR COSTUME SIZE TOO, AND WE ARE THERE FOR MEASURING. OUR DANCE TEACHER HAS THE MOMS DECIDE BEACAUSE OF THE GROWTH THING. I DID STAPLE THE STRAPS BACK ON DD OUTFIT, AND THE RECITAL WENT FINE. SHE FELT LIKE A PRINCESS, AND WHEN WE GOT HOME SHE THREW THE $60.00 SCRAP OF MATERIAL ON THE FLOOR IN A HEAP, AND THAT IS THE END OF THAT...UNTIL NEXT YEAR!! I HOPE IT GETS WORKED OUT. I WOULD BE EXTREMELY, MANIAC P.O.'D IF I FOUND OUT THEY GAVE THE LARGER SIZE TO ANOTHER DANCER. YIKES!!!

[lukeandbrookesmom]

Originally Posted by tinker_me_happy

Second, PLEASE find another studio for your daughters to dance at (if they still want to dance after this fiasco!~) You pay a lot of money for them to enjoy this activity! Find someone YOU are happy with! AND it is OK to go and Interview studio owners ahead of time and ask them how they would deal with this situation. If you haven't paid your final payment for the year to your current studio, I would hold back money until you are compensated! Sometimes it is totally NOT the studio owners fault when costumes are bad, but SOMETIMES it is! And EVEN when it is not, they need to be HELPFUL in fixing the situation!

This is 100% my advice at this point Dawn. I've been holding off posting this but some of these other posts have made me very angry Not the posters, but what they are going through!! Brooke attends a reputable dance academy and I've got to tell you - she has many 'fluffy' girls in her class! In fact, one of her best dance class friends is autisitic, too. Her friend is constantly made fun of at school (by her mom's accounts) for her disability and 'fluffiness' (she is 4 years old and 100 pounds). This is NOT tolerated at dance class!!!!! All children are treated the same - yes, there are two boys in Brooke's class also! In fact, the lead senior this year (the recital is the Jungle Book) is not your 'typical' dancer. She is over 6' tall and not petite by any means. She will be playing the part of Baloo and has 7 - yes seven! - solo dances (tap, jazz and ballet!). She has been with the academy since she was 3 years old and is also an associate teacher.

My point is, this cr*p with body image is not acceptable at dancing schools! Dance is a wonderful way for your DD to express herself and to get the exercise that she needs! I don't pay a lot for Brooke's dance year ($45 a month for lessons, and her costume this year is $68). Which brings me to another issue - the 'trashy' costumes you mentioned - not acceptable for a child your DD's age!! The costumes absolutely should be age appropriate. If I could figure out a way to post a picture in her current costume I would!

OK, my rant is over and I hope I didn't offend anyone - I'm just trying to voice my concerns over what our DDs are experiencing....and shouldn't be!

I know your DD wants to be in the recital - and who can blame her? She practiced all year and deserves to be there. Do your best getting the costume that she'll wear. Then, cut all ties with that awful place!!! Start checking out new dance studios and interview them instensively!!! That's what the mom of DD's classmate did. She said she interviewed 21 places before choosing this one. She fully explained her DD's disabilities and came to watch several classes before enrolling.

All I can say Dawn, it that I'm sending you for now and maybe I can help you over the summer find a healthy place for your DD in the fall - SHE DESERVES IT!!!!

Again, I'm sorry if this comes across wrong to anyone - I'm angry that any child should be subjected to this and it seems as though many are

[graygables]

Judi and everyone, thank you so much for the kind words, encouragement, and pixies. I'm still just stunned over this whole dance year. This is a studio that claims to be Christian, but this year has really shown otherwise. The music, the costumes have been a true indicator here. It really is ALL about the dance team. The front of the recital t-shirt has the name of the recital/studio, then the names of the teachers and the names of all the dance team members...on the FRONT of the shirt! Everyone else is relegated to the fine print on the back.

When DD broke her ankle in a make-up class, there was no method of reporting b/c when she showed up to her regular class (the teacher is the studio owner), she had NO idea there had been an accident. She let her sit in a chair the first few weeks, but after that, told DD she had to sit on the floor or stand. I made DD go to class so she could at least do the upper body movements and watch the new steps, but the teacher didn't do ANYTHING but let her stand there all hour.

The classes routinely run late, which I think is disrespectful to the families. You don't want US running in late to class, why is it OK for you to keep US late?

Finally, I chose DD's class so the studio owner would be her teacher. I also chose 9yo's class so Miss M would NOT be her teacher, but there was a last minute change and she wound up with her anyway (and nowhere else to go). Most of the year, the owner/teacher has left her teenage DD teaching the class b/c she has "important business" (read: dance team stuff) to take care of and for some reason that class time is the only time she can work on it???

12yo has been really nontalkative about dance other than she likes it, so a lot of this is just now coming to light (like how she doesn't know the whole dance b/c she was made to stand there for 6 weeks of class).

My heart is breaking for her, she's trying so hard to defend the studio/teacher, but she KNOWS she really can't. She's asked if she can have some time to think about the recital and make up her mind.

BTW, we paid in full early in the year (there is a discount), but we had some issues and were late with that payment. The owner understood and was fine with it. To thank her, I dropped off an Uppercase Living catalog and a few ideas of an expression to put up somewhere in the studio and told her that she could choose something and I would give it to her. I never heard a word back. I followed up a few weeks later to see if she got the catalog/letter and she said yes, but she was too busy at the moment. That was in February...I think that's just plain rude when someone offers you a gift in gratitude.

[Princess_Wantabe]

to your DD. Both my girls have danced since 3yrs old and luckily they've been at studios (two different ones due to moving) that have been great with the costumes. I've had friends who gone to other studios in town and they weren't so lucky with the costumes (trashy costumes for the age). I just don't get why some dance studios insist on putting little kids in such trashy costumes!
If I were you, I would look around for another studio for next year. Ask alot a questions about their costume selections. Our current studio shows the costume to the parents before any selections are made. So we get a say in the selection...as it should be

[wheatenwalker]

Dawn, sounds like the entire situation is bad- pixies to your dtrs!