Taking A Break from Life with a Trip to My Happy Place - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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Taking A Break from Life with a Trip to My Happy Place
Taking a Break from Life with a Trip to My Happy Place
November 13th – November 19th
Now that I’m officially 30 days from our trip, I thought I’d begin my next trip report. I guess you could call me a follower, or a sucker for punishment, because here I am writing another TR that I wasn’t sure I was even going to write. It’s not that I don’t like sharing my adventures, or that I feel like they’re a burden to do, it’s more of the fact that I don’t see my vacations as anything too exciting. In fact, there’s even an underlying sense of guilt as I’m writing these insatiable page turners, because in a way I feel like such a fake in the Passporter world of trip report writers, and that’s why I’ve decided to come clean to everyone this time, which also became the inspiration for my title.
I’m sure anyone who’s ever written one of these things has tried to prevent people from having a peak behind the proverbial curtain that is their personal life. To keep a bit of their private life, well, private…too not give it ALL away. Yeah, I’ve done it. I’ve done it every time I’ve written one of these, and looking back on everything I’ve shared, and everything I haven’t, it makes me feel like a faker, a master of illusion, and a person who didn’t want to write another report.
We all know life isn’t perfect, in fact, it seems that in at least two of my reports I’ve had a loved one pass away, and I’ve also had a handful of arguments or disagreements with a few family members, and while this trip started out as being something for us to do before our annual passes ran out, it became something that I needed to do in order to take a break from everything that seemed to be coming unhinged in my life. Now, please don’t think this trip report is going to be the ultimate downer or a “glass half empty” sort of thing, because it’s not, but as much as I’m not the type of person to put my business out there for all of the world to see, I needed to give all of you a bigger peak behind my “curtain” before I could continue writing about all the happy planning I’ve been doing.
It’s like the universe whispered to me when I decided to approach my mom about taking this trip, and the whisper went something like this, “You need a girls only trip”. Well, if you say so. Mom and I started going on our Girls Only Disney trips back in 2000, and since then we've gone on one in 2004, 2006 and 2010.
Girls Trip in 2000
Girls Trip in 2004
Girls Trip in 2006
Girls Trip in 2010
Going to Disney with my mom is an entirely different kind of trip when it’s just us. We walk at a faster pace which makes seeing everything a lot easier and we like the same things, which means that we don’t have to constantly ask each other what to see or do. I guess it’s that unspoken connection we have between us, and I think deep down the universe knew that a few months down the road we would need to feel that connection once more, and so this vacation went from being more than just us needing a Disney fix. After some unexpected events, and some recurring troubles, this vacation became more about us spending time together than it did about visiting Disney World.
I apologize now for the length of this first installment, but there was no other way to shorten it. Let’s rewind a bit…
Before the start of summer, my brother decided to rent out his townhouse and get a single family home built about 25 minutes away from us in a more rural area of our county. They ended up moving in with my parents so they would have some place to live while the new house was being built, of course, the quoted time of completion ended up being way off, and needless to say, they won’t be moving in until the beginning of December. At first, my parents didn’t want them moving in since their house isn’t that large to begin with, plus my niece Trinity is a big handful with a naughty streak thrown in for good measure, and I don’t think they wanted to deal with the added noise that comes with a bad toddler. However, they couldn’t say no to their son, and come to find out, the new living arrangements weren’t as bad as they originally thought they were going to be. I can tell that as my brother’s been living with my parents, his relationship with them has gotten stronger, which is something that my brother needed and my mother wanted.
It’s a running joke in our family that I’m the favorite child, and that I’m still attached to my mother’s hip even though I’m 36 years old. I take it as jealousy that I have a stronger bond with my mom, but in a way, such a close relationship can make it harder to let go. I’ll never forget what my mom told me one day. She said, “If I would have known someone like you when I was in school, we would have been best friends”. That sentence pretty much sums up our entire relationship. She’s my best friend, and I know there are tons of kids in the world that say the same thing about their mom, but my mom really is my best friend. Yes, I have close girlfriends that I call my best friends, but my mom comes before all of them, and without her in my life it would be like part of me is missing, and how can anyone function with missing pieces?
A few months ago, the heating and air conditioning company my dad was doing estimates for started bringing in less and less work, which meant my dad was bringing home less and less money. To make matters worse, his sister still hasn’t given him any of the money she owes him from the sale of his HVAC company, which lead my mother to become the sole bread winner. [IMG][/IMG] Somehow my brother was able to talk him into getting an attorney and taking my aunt to court, which is a big step since my father didn’t want to do that to his own family, but we looked it like all family ties went out the window a long time ago, and it’s now time to look out for yourself and your wife.
Somewhere mixed in with all of this talk about money and the house, and what they could and could not afford, my brother offered them the opportunity to build an in-laws residence on the land he was building his house on. Their mortgage is paid off, so any money they got from the sale of their house would go towards the building of this new house, plus my dad wouldn’t have to worry about the upkeep of the yard because my brother would now take care of all of that. It seemed like the perfect solution, and you’d think I’d be happy for them, but the only problem with that is I didn’t even know any of this was being discussed, and when I did find out about it, it wasn’t my mom who came to talk to me, it was my dad.
He told me that she was afraid to tell me because she knows how close we are and she didn’t want this to upset or hurt me, but how could it not? First, I was hurt that she felt she couldn’t tell me about this herself, and second I was upset that not only would she possibly be living 25 minutes away from me (I know it doesn't seem like much, but it is), but that she would be having a house built right next to my brother. Now, before all of you think this is sibling jealousy, it’s not. Back in October of 2009, I had discussed doing the exact same thing that my brother is now offering to do with them, the only problem we had was finding a builder who was selling the land and his services in one combined price that was also in an area we wanted to live. We never found it, and it broke my heart that my brother finally did, and was planning on helping them out in a way I couldn’t.
In my eyes my relationship with my mom was going to change because of the distance between us, and her relationship with Hope would also suffer, but when I finally spoke with her about it, she said that would never happen, and I let it go. A few weeks later she casually asked me if I was happy for them, and I said it would be selfish of me if I said I wasn’t because they need to do what’s best for them, but I’d be lying if I said I was happy about the situation and with the fact that she’s moving so far away, and of course she didn’t like that answer. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to sugar coat my answer just to make people feel better. Again, I let it go, and just pushed this whole situation to the back of my mind, until one day my SIL, Corinne, told me that my mom was unusually sad lately, and she thinks the reason is because I don’t know how to be happy for other people. I had finally reached my breaking point with this entire topic, and I lost it...I broke down and cried. I told her that she can’t understand the relationship I have with my mom because she doesn’t have that with her mom. I told her that I feel like I’m being pushed to the outside of the family with all the secrets and lies that I’ve been told about what’s really going on with this whole house building process. I told her that I know how to be happy for other people, especially my family, and I in fact told my mom that, but explained that I wasn’t happy with certain aspects of the situation. I also told her that I was jealous that my brother was able to give my parents the things I couldn’t, and when they get to the age where they need help being cared for, he would be more responsible for them than I would, and I just can’t see him being that good at it.
I think I surprised her with my response because she suddenly felt really bad for me, and started crying a bit herself. Not sure if it was an act to make me feel better or because she really did feel bad for coming at me the way she did, but either way, I decided that it was time for my mom and I to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart…and we did. My mom told me she knows I know how to feel happy for other people, and she understood where I was upset about everything, but that our relationship would never change, and that we would find a way to make the distance work for us. She also said that they don’t even know if the house can be built because of some building code issues, and right now everything was up in the air. And even though I felt better after that talk, I’m still very sad about it, and I still feel like a piece of me is being ripped out of my chest.
I honestly don’t know where they are right now with the house because I haven’t heard anything about it lately. It’s not like my parents are knocking down my door to give me the answers, and I half expect to find out they really are moving once the moving van pulls up in front of their house, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it I guess. For now I’m looking forward to spending a much needed vacation with my mom and daughter, and after I get back I’ll once again be faced with a reality check if they go through with the build. I had thought, in a plan to make me feel better, that this would help me down the road when it came time for her to leave me in life, that the distance between us would make it easier for me to let her go, but the only person I’m kidding is myself, because no matter how far away she is, and how little I get to see her, she will always be my best friend, my missing piece…my mom.
So, I hope I haven’t depressed too many of you already with that long drawn out story, but I just couldn’t see myself writing this report without a bit of honesty thrown in. Our mothers are there to comfort us when we’re sick or sad, and this trip has become a sense of comfort for me during a time of uncertainty. I promise there will be a lot more light-hearted fun stuff to write about than sad depressing stuff, but to quote good ‘ole Dr. Phil, if I plan on “getting real” than I need to keep it real for all of you too. And maybe this will end up helping me out in the long run because at least I will know there are a few people out there that I can let it all out too, and they will be ready to offer advice, understanding, and even a bit of comfort of their own, and I would be extremely grateful for that.
Up Next: Do We Even Know Where We’re Staying? And Some Exciting News (no, I’m not pregnant)
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I don't have any advice, but I am in sort of the same shoes as you. I have always had the closest relationship with my mom out of my siblings and I also live the closest to her at 10 minutes away. My mom dropped a bombshell on me about a month ago that she is moving to Florida (we live in KS) and I am crushed. I cried for 3 days and then I went through a stage where I thought I was just too old to need my mom that much. But, I was only kidding myself and I don't care how old you are, when you are that close to your mom it is not easy to be far away. Thanks for being so open, it always helps when there are others out there that understand.
Now I can't wait to hear about your trip plans!! I am glad you decided to do a TR.
First of all, I'm really glad you decided to do another TR. I always enjoy reading them!
I fully understand where you are coming from, as I have a very close relationship with my mom as well. We are more like sisters than my sister and I are, and while I love my sister dearly, I have always had a very special relationship with my mom. We are so alike and have so much in common, we understand each other when the rest of the family just doesn't get it. Of course, having that relationship with my mom has caused friction at times, even jealousy at times, from both my sister and I, for different reasons. It's automatic that mom & I get along, but the relationship my sister & mom have has had it's ups and downs, so mom has had to overcompensate sometimes, just to make the situation better. This in return, often left me feeling like the one left out.
Just try to understand that as moms we have to spread ourselves very thin sometimes, and if we have more than one child, we have to be different things to that child under different circumstances at different times throughout their lives. It doesn't mean we love or care for one of them any less, that's just how it is sometimes.
It sounds like you have an amazing relationship with your mom {as I do}, but sometimes even the most perfect relationships go through rough times.
I hope that this trip will help to ease some of the tension you are feeling, and you get to enjoy some special time together with your mom & Hope.
Looking forward to following along.....from the start this time!
Great start, Melissa. I'm so glad you decided to write this TR, I've enjoyed the last couple of ones you did! Great pictures from your past trips!
I'm so sorry that you are going through a rough time right now with your Mom thinking about moving away, I hope that some quality time spent with her in Disney will help you some. I went through something similar last year when my parents dropped a bombshell on my sister and I that they were selling our childhood home and moving about 30 minutes away (they used to be about a minutes drive away ). It was seriously upsetting to me, I remember crying and feeling depressed over it for a while. Especially since there was no warning at all. They went away for the weekend to Cape May, and when they came back they tell us they just bought a new house in a 55+ community They moved in last November, and in the end, everything has worked out for us. Our relationship is just as strong as it ever was, if not stronger, and I know that they are really happy which makes me happy. I hope that the same will happen for you
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I'm glad you decided to write another TR. This trip sounds like just the thing you and your mom need right now. Looking forward to hearing the details!
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I hope that you and your family have a magical time at the world
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I'm so glad you're doing a report! I don't find your reports boring at all (I always think MINE are boring, though.) I'm sorry that you're going through this with your family, but it also makes me jealous that you have such a close relationship with your mother. It sounds like you have a bond that her moving a bit further away will not change. I hope travelling together again will reaffirm that for you.
Glad you're doing another TR. sorry things feel so tough right now with your mom. It's great the two of you have such a close relationship, and it sounds like she feels the same about you, so have faith you aren't losing her. This will be a good chance for you to have some good quality time!
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Oh Melissa! I feel so bad! How come you have not shared this with us on our monthly chats? I'm sure you & your Mom will make it through this. This trip will come at a great time and you'll have so much fun!
I'm close to my mom too. I see her every day at work and on the weekends I tend to call or see her too because it just seems weird if I don't. She called me tonight to make sure it was ok to go visit my brother & his family this weekend as we're going to see the new baby for the first time and she didn't want to take anything away from us. I told her it was fine, but I got the baby and she had to take Lukas aka 'Terrible 2'!
Can't wait to hear the exciting news!
Oh my Melissa, I was on the verge of tears reading your post. I'm so sorry you're going through this situation. I've seen, through your TR, how close you are to your mom and I know how difficult this situation must be.
I've never had that kind of relationship with my mom, it's just not the way I was brought up. I do love my mother dearly but still at my age, it's very difficult for me to have a relationship that deep. I've never confided in her because growing up she was never that open with me. And when I see people who have these close-knit relationships with their parents, it makes me feel like I missed out.
I hope this trip helps you solidify your relationship your mom. Thank you for trusting us enough to share your feelings with us. Rest assured that we will always be here when you need to talk. And don't even think for one second that your TRs are boring. I enjoy reading them and I've loved seeing Hope growing through the years. I still remember your first TR I read, Hope was so little and look at her now.
I'm so glad you're writing another trip report, as I love reading them.
I have no words of wisdom for you, as my mother lives 250 miles apart and see each other two or three times a year. Much as I love her, the distance doesn't bother me, as we just don't have that type of relationship.
I hope you have a great time with your mother on this trip and I can't wait to hear the exciting news!
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I'm so glad you are writing another TR. I love them! I understand about the family stress, believe me. It does feel like family on this board. We're here for each other.
I am glad that you decided to do another TR! I enjoy following along on your trips!
I have no advice for you, as I wasn't that close to my mom when she was alive. (My mom passed away 4 years ago.) I lived only 5 minutes away from my parents, but my mom and I had a very difficult mother/daughter relationship. It was hard to see eye to eye on a lot of issues between the two of us. There are times when I do envy others that have such a tight knit mother/daughter relationship. With that though, I do love my mom, and I always will, it's just that her and I never became close to each other.
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About This Page: 
I guess you could call me a follower, or a sucker for punishment, 
because here I am writing another TR that I wasn’t sure I was even going to write. 
It’s not that I don’t like sharing my adventures, or that I feel like they’re a burden to do, it’s more of the fact that I don’t see my vacations as anything too exciting. 
In fact, there’s even an underlying sense of guilt as I’m writing these insatiable page turners, because in a way I feel like such a fake in the Passporter world of trip report writers, and that’s why I’ve decided to come clean to everyone this time, which also became the inspiration for my title.
curtain that is their personal life. To keep a bit of their private life, well, private…too not give it ALL away. Yeah, I’ve done it. 
I’ve done it every time I’ve written one of these, and looking back on everything I’ve shared, and everything I haven’t, it makes me feel like a faker, a master of illusion, and a person who didn’t want to write another report. 
Now, please don’t think this trip report is going to be the ultimate downer or a “glass half empty” sort of thing, because it’s not, 
but as much as I’m not the type of person to put my business out there for all of the world to see, 
I needed to give all of you a bigger peak behind my “curtain” before I could continue writing about all the happy planning I’ve been doing. 
“You need a girls only trip”. Well, if you say so. 
Mom and I started going on our Girls Only Disney trips back in 2000, and since then we've gone on one in 2004, 2006 and 2010.
We walk at a faster pace which makes seeing everything a lot easier and we like the same things, which means that we don’t have to constantly ask each other what to see or do. I guess it’s that unspoken connection we have between us, and I think deep down the universe knew that a few months down the road we would need to feel that connection once more, and so this vacation went from being more than just us needing a Disney fix. After some unexpected events, and some recurring troubles, this vacation became more about us spending time together than it did about visiting Disney World. 
Let’s rewind a bit…
At first, my parents didn’t want them moving in since their house isn’t that large to begin with, plus my niece Trinity is a big handful with a naughty streak thrown in for good measure, 
and I don’t think they wanted to deal with the added noise that comes with a bad toddler. 
However, they couldn’t say no to their son, and come to find out, the new living arrangements weren’t as bad as they originally thought they were going to be. I can tell that as my brother’s been living with my parents, his relationship with them has gotten stronger, which is something that my brother needed and my mother wanted. 
but in a way, such a close relationship can make it harder to let go. I’ll never forget what my mom told me one day. She said, “If I would have known someone like you when I was in school, we would have been best friends”. 
That sentence pretty much sums up our entire relationship. She’s my best friend, and I know there are tons of kids in the world that say the same thing about their mom, but my mom really is my best friend. 
Yes, I have close girlfriends that I call my best friends, but my mom comes before all of them, and without her in my life it would be like part of me is missing, and how can anyone function with missing pieces? 
[/IMG] Somehow my brother was able to talk him into getting an attorney and taking my aunt to court, which is a big step since my father didn’t want to do that to his own family, but we looked it like all family ties went out the window a long time ago, and it’s now time to look out for yourself and your wife. 
my brother offered them the opportunity to build an in-laws residence on the land he was building his house on. Their mortgage is paid off, so any money they got from the sale of their house would go towards the building of this new house, 
plus my dad wouldn’t have to worry about the upkeep of the yard because my brother would now take care of all of that. 
It seemed like the perfect solution, and you’d think I’d be happy for them, but the only problem with that is I didn’t even know any of this was being discussed, 
and when I did find out about it, it wasn’t my mom who came to talk to me, it was my dad.
and second I was upset that not only would she possibly be living 25 minutes away from me (I know it doesn't seem like much, but it is), but that she would be having a house built right next to my brother. 
Now, before all of you think this is sibling jealousy, 
it’s not. Back in October of 2009, I had discussed doing the exact same thing that my brother is now offering to do with them, the only problem we had was finding a builder who was selling the land and his services in one combined price that was also in an area we wanted to live. We never found it, 
I’m sorry, but I’m not going to sugar coat my answer just to make people feel better. Again, I let it go, and just pushed this whole situation to the back of my mind, until one day my SIL, Corinne, told me that my mom was unusually sad lately, 
I had finally reached my breaking point with this entire topic, and I lost it...I broke down and cried. 
I told her that she can’t understand the relationship I have with my mom because she doesn’t have that with her mom. I told her that I feel like I’m being pushed to the outside of the family with all the secrets and lies that I’ve been told about what’s really going on with this whole house building process. I told her that I know how to be happy for other people, especially my family, and I in fact told my mom that, but explained that I wasn’t happy with certain aspects of the situation. I also told her that I was jealous that my brother was able to give my parents the things I couldn’t, and when they get to the age where they need help being cared for, he would be more responsible for them than I would, and I just can’t see him being that good at it. 
because she suddenly felt really bad for me, and started crying a bit herself. Not sure if it was an act to make me feel better or because she really did feel bad for coming at me the way she did, but either way, I decided that it was time for my mom and I to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart…and we did. 
My mom told me she knows I know how to feel happy for other people, and she understood where I was upset about everything, but that our relationship would never change, and that we would find a way to make the distance work for us. She also said that they don’t even know if the house can be built because of some building code issues, and right now everything was up in the air. 
And even though I felt better after that talk, I’m still very sad about it, and I still feel like a piece of me is being ripped out of my chest. 
but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it I guess. For now I’m looking forward to spending a much needed vacation with my mom and daughter, 
and after I get back I’ll once again be faced with a reality check if they go through with the build. I had thought, in a plan to make me feel better, that this would help me down the road when it came time for her to leave me in life, 
but I just couldn’t see myself writing this report without a bit of honesty thrown in. Our mothers are there to comfort us when we’re sick or sad, 
and this trip has become a sense of comfort for me during a time of uncertainty. I promise there will be a lot more light-hearted fun stuff to write about than sad depressing stuff, 
but to quote good ‘ole Dr. Phil, if I plan on 
and they will be ready to offer advice, understanding, and even a bit of comfort of their own, and I would be extremely grateful for that. 
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Pixie Dust
Susan
I'm sure it will be a special trip for you all! 
They moved in last November, and in the end, everything has worked out for us. Our relationship is just as strong as it ever was, if not stronger, and I know that they are really happy which makes me happy. I hope that the same will happen for you 
Disney Magic - Oct 2015
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