Kids Stealing Food About This Page:

[TuffyCO]

I need some advice. My DS9 is high-functioning autistic and is constantly stealing food, mostly sugary foods. In the last week, he has snuck and eaten 15+ boxes of Girl Scout cookies that I had in the freezer. He sneaks them into his room, eats them in his bed and this morning I found a package of Samoas in the shower (the plastic tray with the 6 cookies left in it, full of dirty shower water, ick!). He has also taken chips, candy, frosting, ice cream (out of the container with his fingers), if I make a pie or cake he will eat whatever is left when no one is looking (also with his fingers). He has also been caught eating out of the sugar jar, which I then have to throw out the sugar. He also sneaks cheese, bread, chips and some other things as well.

I have thought about getting locks on everything, but I get so frustrated with everything being locked up. I already have to lock up the Wii, DVD player, TV remotes, iPhones etc. because he sneaks out in the middle of the night to play or watch tv and I feel like I'm running a prison.

We have healthy foods available all the time and he likes fruits and will often eat these as a snack, but then later takes a box of cookies. Often he doesn't eat very much at meal times, and this has been normal for him since he was little. He will eat very little one day and then a ton the next. But now I'm suspecting that his lack of appetite is due to his sneaking candy and treats.

We do offer treats daily. We usually give the kids a few cookies each day, or a bowl of ice cream after meals. When we go to the store we pick up candies. So it isn't like he never gets them. He never asks for any treats or candy (unless we are at a store), he doesn't ask me if he can have a few cookies or ice cream or whatever. We offer them in the evening, before and often he sneaks them after bed. My DD also sneaks some, but not very often and I would consider hers a little more typical, taking a few cookies when no one is looking. Not multiple boxes per day.

I've talked to our doctor and they really just said to lock the stuff up. I just can't stand having locks on everything, and I feel he has to learn how to control his own eating, locking it up will I'm afraid just make things worse.

We have caught him stealing from stores a couple times - mostly when he was much younger (4-5) and I think only one time was food. The other was products. We made him return the items and apologize for what he had done. This seems different, like he's driven to eat sugar. I don't believe he has stolen anything from a store in several years, I could be wrong, but he doesn't hide things very well. I'm really grossed out by the whole thing as we recently moved to NM and live in a rural area. We have had a mouse in the house (I think we are rid of it) and we have had a few centipedes (which totally freak me out). So I don't want food in the bedrooms and crumbs all over that would attack mice or bugs (that would attack centipedes).

I'm just wondering if anyone with neuro-typical kids has this problem or if this is stemming from his autism. Also, any suggestions on what to do would be great.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[DsnyDiva]

Stop purchasing the sweet food's for a while only keep healthier choices in the home. Maybe his taste's bud's will come to enjoy the fruit's over the sweet's eventually. I wish I had other advice...

[2Peanuts]

Have you read about the GFCF diet? It sounds like your son may respond well to it, although getting him on it will be hard. From what I understand, kids who are affected by gluten & casein in their diets eat those foods as if they're addicted to them because the gluten & casein actually break down to morphine-like chemicals in the body. (Sorry if you already knew that --- wanted to give you a quick background of it in case you hadn't heard of it.) He may be "addicted" to the gluten/casein if he's constantly sneaking those foods. May be worth a try.

Anyway, I wish I knew what to suggest. I'm assuming that since he's 9, he can probably reach top shelves? DS3 still has to ask us for his favorite snacks, which we keep at the back of our counter so he can't reach them. Or maybe can you lock up the main stash and leave just 1 box out to help you with your goal of teaching him restraint?

I hope you find a solution that works! Good luck!

Carol

[TuffyCO]

Originally Posted by renbugs

Stop purchasing the sweet food's for a while only keep healthier choices in the home. Maybe his taste's bud's will come to enjoy the fruit's over the sweet's eventually. I wish I had other advice...

I should have mentioned that we have tried that. We have gone long periods of time without any snacks in the house. We made a point to have desserts only at restaurants and would get small individual packages of cookies or treats sometimes when we were out. As soon as we buy a tub of ice cream, or I bake a cake he will start eating it all again. The funny thing with the Girl Scout cookies is they have been in the freezer since April and none started disappearing till a couple weeks ago. But then he just pigged out on them. We have been opening a box or two here and there over the months.

The other reason I don't want to just get rid of it, is because my DD12 gets very upset that she never gets any treats because when she asks, it is already gone.

[TuffyCO]

Originally Posted by 2Peanuts

Have you read about the GFCF diet? It sounds like your son may respond well to it, although getting him on it will be hard. From what I understand, kids who are affected by gluten & casein in their diets eat those foods as if they're addicted to them because the gluten & casein actually break down to morphine-like chemicals in the body. (Sorry if you already knew that --- wanted to give you a quick background of it in case you hadn't heard of it.) He may be "addicted" to the gluten/casein if he's constantly sneaking those foods. May be worth a try.

Anyway, I wish I knew what to suggest. I'm assuming that since he's 9, he can probably reach top shelves? DS3 still has to ask us for his favorite snacks, which we keep at the back of our counter so he can't reach them. Or maybe can you lock up the main stash and leave just 1 box out to help you with your goal of teaching him restraint?

I hope you find a solution that works! Good luck!

Carol

We have tried the GFCF diet and it really had little to no impact on him. We took out casien first and did find that helped a little and we have kept him off milk products. But other than that it really was a lot of work and expense for a lot of nothing.

Yes, he can reach the top shelves and will get chairs, stools or climb the shelves to get to the food if he wants to. I like the idea of keeping a small amount out to help him learn.

Thinking about it, this is really a bigger problem of following rules in general. With the Wii, TV, taking other peoples things. So we may have to address honestly and following rules in general.

[CinderAbby]

Abby doesn't steal food or try to hide it but she will occasionally go into the kitchen and have ice cream or cookies for a snack instead of an apple or banana. I think that's what any typcial kid would do if they could (grab unhealthy stuff) so I can't attribute it to just Special Needs. For your son though, it's far more extreme so the only suggestion I can really offer is to stop buying all of those things. No longer keep candies, cakes, ice cream, cookies - none of it in the house. I don't get that stuff except on occasion because I want it to truly be a treat, not an everyday thing. A side benefit is our waistlines and wallets are all the much better for not having them.


ETA - I started typing this a few minutes ago but by the time I actually posted it, you had made other responses about not buying the food. I can't offer any "good" advice but I can offer that something works for your family

[phoebec]

Have you tried doing a visual schedule? We have picture cards for all daily activities (we don't use it as much anymore but pull it out when my son's anxiety goes up). You can schedule in "treat" times that he can see and is concrete. Sometimes just hearing "later" or "after dinner" isn't concrete for them but when they can see it in black and white they feel better and maybe will help him gain better control. If you need more info on the visual schedules let me know

[Teresa]

Originally Posted by TuffyCO

Thinking about it, this is really a bigger problem of following rules in general. With the Wii, TV, taking other peoples things. So we may have to address honestly and following rules in general.

I think that sounds reasonable. I don't have any kids on the spectrum, but I dealt with a lot of foster kids who were, as the nanny of a family who took in several.
I'm not saying this to be mean - but you have a child who is 9 and stealing first, and then who is autistic 2nd. You say he's high-functioning, which means he can understand rules and "laws"? I'd think it very likely he KNOWS he's not supposed to take food without asking and is doing it because he can. I found a lot of parents of disabled kids (me included - my DD is a quadriplegic) tend to under-estimate the abilities of their children.
A few solutions come to mind: #1 - sit your son down and make it very clear this behavior is NOT acceptable. Outline EXACTLY what he can and cannot eat without asking. And - as I learned recently from my grandkids - make sure he knows WHO to ask and that he has to wait for a "Yes". (my grandson asked my 14 year old DD for something and then went and got it, because he asked and that was all I said he had to do!!).
Also - gather all the "snacks" you don't want him to have and lock them up. I know, you don't want to do this, but for now, it's a solution. Or, hope the talk helps. Remind him daily about your talk.

[TuffyCO]

Originally Posted by CinderAbby

Abby doesn't steal food or try to hide it but she will occasionally go into the kitchen and have ice cream or cookies for a snack instead of an apple or banana. I think that's what any typcial kid would do if they could (grab unhealthy stuff) so I can't attribute it to just Special Needs. For your son though, it's far more extreme so the only suggestion I can really offer is to stop buying all of those things. No longer keep candies, cakes, ice cream, cookies - none of it in the house. I don't get that stuff except on occasion because I want it to truly be a treat, not an everyday thing. A side benefit is our waistlines and wallets are all the much better for not having them.


ETA - I started typing this a few minutes ago but by the time I actually posted it, you had made other responses about not buying the food. I can't offer any "good" advice but I can offer that something works for your family

If that was what he was doing I would be happy. I don't mind him having treats and really say yes almost all the time unless it is right before a meal, then I will say after the meal. He just doesn't ask. The problem with keeping it out is my DD, DH, and I all enjoy having treats on occasion and I hate punishing everyone for his mistakes. So I will probably have to go with the locking it up. The freezer is easy as there is a lock on it, I just have to get a key. I will probably lock one pantry that will have all the sugary foods and one with healthy stuff. Thanks for the

[TuffyCO]

Originally Posted by phoebec

Have you tried doing a visual schedule? We have picture cards for all daily activities (we don't use it as much anymore but pull it out when my son's anxiety goes up). You can schedule in "treat" times that he can see and is concrete. Sometimes just hearing "later" or "after dinner" isn't concrete for them but when they can see it in black and white they feel better and maybe will help him gain better control. If you need more info on the visual schedules let me know

We have. He was actually in inpatient care last June and we had him on a strick visual schedule. He still uses one, but he doesn't depend on it as much as he use to. Maybe due to the lack of structure in summer we need to revert back. I have a hard time with a lot of this, because I hate having every minute of our day planned. I am very detailed and plan a lot, but summer I tend to slack off. This is probably my big problem.

Originally Posted by Teresa

I think that sounds reasonable. I don't have any kids on the spectrum, but I dealt with a lot of foster kids who were, as the nanny of a family who took in several.
I'm not saying this to be mean - but you have a child who is 9 and stealing first, and then who is autistic 2nd. You say he's high-functioning, which means he can understand rules and "laws"? I'd think it very likely he KNOWS he's not supposed to take food without asking and is doing it because he can. I found a lot of parents of disabled kids (me included - my DD is a quadriplegic) tend to under-estimate the abilities of their children.
A few solutions come to mind: #1 - sit your son down and make it very clear this behavior is NOT acceptable. Outline EXACTLY what he can and cannot eat without asking. And - as I learned recently from my grandkids - make sure he knows WHO to ask and that he has to wait for a "Yes". (my grandson asked my 14 year old DD for something and then went and got it, because he asked and that was all I said he had to do!!).
Also - gather all the "snacks" you don't want him to have and lock them up. I know, you don't want to do this, but for now, it's a solution. Or, hope the talk helps. Remind him daily about your talk.

He does know he is not suppose to do it, which is why he hides it. We have tried disciplining by losing Wii and other desired activities. We have even made him pay for things to replace them out of his own money (he has to do jobs for pay). But it creates a vicious cycle. He steals a box of cookies, he buys a box of cookies to replace the one he stole, then he eats that box of cookies, we make him buy two boxes of cookies to replace the two etc.

I'm definitely thinking the route we will have to take is going to be locking it up. It just makes me think of an episode of Criminal Minds where the foster mom who was abusive to the kids, kept a padlock on the refrigerator and wore the key around her neck. Doesn't make me feel good.

[GATechGal]

This probably won't make you feel any better, but my dad used to eat stick butter like a candy bar when he was a kid and his folks had to get a lock for the fridge. The reason I know this is that they still had that refrigerator when I was a kid and I asked about the lock. So think of it as child-proofing your house. It probably won't be forever. And you might need to ratchet up the consequences a little. Make they really memorable.

[feonag]

Maybe he needs harder consequences for he actions. My niece is autistic and my sister punishes her if she does something wrong because as you said he knows what he is doing is wrong. The trick with every kid is to find what works the best. What does he like to do the best? Take that away from him for a month and go from there. You might have to be a bigger shadow on him too. Make sure you know what he is doing at all times, if he walks into the kitchen you follow him to see what he is doing. Good luck.

[JoanneS]

It sounds like locking up the food is the best option. Just make sure he can't get to the key. My DD isn't autistic, but she used to sneak food down to her bedroom and hide it for later. Often times she would forget that it was there. I took to taking our Basset Hound down to her room every day to root out the contraband. I don't think it's necessarily all his fault, it sounds like he has some sort of organic condition that's driving him to this. Good luck, I wish I had more ideas for you.

[GingerJ]

I just did a quick search on autism and binge eating, and found several hits. You might do that if you haven't already...one source says that ASD kids often have obsessions and overeating can be one of them. So you might try treating this as an obsession, because the extent really sounds obsessive to me, a total layperson though I am; I'm thinking you might already have some experience in this area, as it appears to be a not-uncommon problem. One source that looks really good: Dietary management for children and adolescents with ASDs: over-eating - | autism | Asperger syndrome |, and then follow the link on the left-hand side about obessive behavior.
(My direct experience with ASD is limited, but one of the boys in my Cub Scout den has Asperger's, so I've looked into it just a little for that reason, to help me understand him and deal with his own dear personality a bit more effectively.)

Good luck!

Ginger

[TuffyCO]

Thank you everyone for all of the great info! I think I really needed to vent and get my head on straight. All the suggestions have helped me think through many different things. I am looking into ways to lock up the cabinets/freezer as I think this is the easiest quick solution, and that way he "has" to ask for treats as otherwise he cannot get to them.

Originally Posted by feonag

Maybe he needs harder consequences for he actions. My niece is autistic and my sister punishes her if she does something wrong because as you said he knows what he is doing is wrong. The trick with every kid is to find what works the best. What does he like to do the best? Take that away from him for a month and go from there. You might have to be a bigger shadow on him too. Make sure you know what he is doing at all times, if he walks into the kitchen you follow him to see what he is doing. Good luck.

I've tried punishing in every way imaginable, no Wii, tv, take books, Legos, toys, we have even emptied his entire room. It just seems that with the tv/Wii sneaking and the food sneaking no amount of consequence stops the behavior. It's like he is driven to do it, even though he knows he will get in trouble. Shadowing may be an important step.

Originally Posted by GingerJ

I just did a quick search on autism and binge eating, and found several hits. You might do that if you haven't already...one source says that ASD kids often have obsessions and overeating can be one of them. So you might try treating this as an obsession, because the extent really sounds obsessive to me, a total layperson though I am; I'm thinking you might already have some experience in this area, as it appears to be a not-uncommon problem. One source that looks really good: Dietary management for children and adolescents with ASDs: over-eating - | autism | Asperger syndrome |, and then follow the link on the left-hand side about obessive behavior.
(My direct experience with ASD is limited, but one of the boys in my Cub Scout den has Asperger's, so I've looked into it just a little for that reason, to help me understand him and deal with his own dear personality a bit more effectively.)

Good luck!

Ginger

Thank you for the link. I looked at it a little, but will have to delve in a little deeper. It does seem to be more of an obsessive thing, even the tv and Wii are that way. He goes to great lengths to sneak out and watch tv or play Wii when he is not suppose to and no amount of consequence has worked. We took the Wii and DVD player out of the room and locked them up for a month and then he would sneak our cell phones or onto the computer or would find the keys to the room they were in and we would catch him at midnight playing. I don't feel that it is clear cut that he is misbehaving knowingly, even though he knows what he is doing is wrong. It's more like uncontrollable behaviors, that he knows are wrong but still has to do, even if it means getting into trouble. It does sound obsessive when I say it like that. Not sure if that makes any sense.

Originally Posted by DisneyDana

I agree. Another thing, are you sure he's not diabetic? My step son was 9 when he almost went into a diabetic coma while visiting his over indulgent grandparents that thought it was "cute" that he ate 5 bowls of sugary cereal before bed one night. Come to find out he had juvenile diabetes and has been on insulin ever since. He tends to like anything sweet be it candy or sweet potatoes. I'd have him checked for sure because 15 boxes of cookies could kill him if he is and doesn't know it.

Second, I'd try to figure out why he is deliberately ignoring your rules and correct that behavior obviously. That's no fun to deal with at all.

We did have him tested for diabetes the last time went went through this. It's funny that it seems to go in spurts. Of course that could be because I stop keeping the food in the house and then we start adding some back in, which ends in him sneaking the food. At that time he had no medical concerns. He is a very healthy weight, and does eat a lot of fruits, meats, grains. We have finally gotten him eating some veggies, this was a tough one but he now eats broccoli, carrots, peas, green beans and bell peppers. We are working on salad, but he doesn't like any dressing (and we have tried a lot) and even I think salad is kind bland with absolutely nothing on it. I will definitely keep an eye on things and talk to the doctor again if things don't improve with some structure and locking the cabinets. Thanks!