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I've posted how my boys high school marching band goes to WDW every other year to march on Main Street.. well, we have a slight dilemma in our house over this years trip.
DS2, Brendan is a senior & the down deposit for the trip is due Nov 15 so we've only got a few weeks to decide what he's going to do.. Here's the issue..
The trip is going to cost minimum $1800 for him.. that's chartered airplane, lodging (Hotel Royal Plaza) with 4 in a room, buses to & from parks, park tickets & 1 meal per day. ( they have a continental breakfast at the hotel, the other the band general fund pays for & gives each kid $15 a day) .
Now being in the travel industry, I know this $1800 is extremely high as is but Brendan just found out yesterday that his best friend is now not going on the trip so his room is a 2 person room at present so he's going to be paying more unless he find 1-2 more people to share a room.
Brendan has been debating talking to his band director & explaining that $$ is tight for us (which it is, DH was out of work for a while due to his car accident) & he can go to WDW ( a LOT) cheaper with us.. If he does that, could he still march with the band? He will gladly load his instrument & uniform on the truck & also unload it at the park.
Now, here's the dilemma.. he's torn about this decision.. He told me last night that while being with the band was fun & marching on Main Street was great but it's sort of like BTDT.. He said the best part was the parks & he can still meet up with his GF & friends & ride with them every day .. which is 90% of the trip.. he doesn't care about missing the pizza party or anything like that.. He admitted that he probably wouldn't care about going to WDW with the band (or even during that time) if it weren't for his GF... And now that his best friend isn't going he'll be paying more than $1800 for the trip & that is a LOT of $$$.
Another problem is the band parents are requesting an $800 deposit but WDW still hasn't accepted them to march & the only response they've received so far is that there is a chance they WONT march at MK.. they may march at one of the other parks... so that is weighing on Brens mind as well.. he doesn't want to march in a smaller parade.
I've told him it's his decision & I'll do what he wants but I can see his heart isn't 100% in going on this trip with the band..
WWYD in this situation ? I'm trying to remain neutral & not give Bren any opinion ..I'm just giving suggestions & letting him talk but I can see he is extremely torn... but from listening to him talk, his heart isn't in the trip as it was 2 years ago.. Like he said.. he's marched before & it is very cool but he also doesn't want to spend a ton of $$ to do it. FWIW... Yes, I know he could fund raise & have done so but $1.50 for every hoagie he sells or every pack of wrapping paper he sells doesn't take a lot of $$$ off $1800 (plus it's harder to sell with so many kids & friends kids in band) I just hate for him to make the wrong choice & regret his decision either way
Hmmm . . . tough one. It's great that your listening, really listening.
Would it be OK to give him an "out" if he wants to take it?
We have a similar situation with our H.S. band going, but it is not that much $. . . they are taking a bus. I've heard one parent say that their kid wants to go to the beach for spring break, not the world, so she isn't going with the band. Another set of parents are taking their child and then having them meet up with the band. Another is taking their child, having them perform, then taking them to another location to finish up their spring break vacation.
A conversation with the band director may be helpful.
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My reaction to this is to not send him. He's done a band trip to WDW (more than once?) and the cost is just too prohibitive and problematic. So what if his girlfriend is going? They can be apart for a week and they'll live. There will be other Senior activities that he'll be able to participate in as the year goes by that will mean another outlay of money and they might be things he hasn't done before. Save your/his money for other opportunities.
Also, I don't think it's really fair for him to have to make the decision without your input on it either. This is a toughy, that he may actually want you to make the decision for him on. That's Ok too. You're his parent and you're allowed.
And this may all be moot, if the band isn't invited anyway......
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If money is tight, it seems a no-brainer: you've done it once before, and you don't even know if the band is actually going to do it or not.
A few things bother me about what you wrote. Why would Brendan be responsible for finding more people for his room or face paying more $$? And why a chartered plane??? Why not a bus, and an AVERAGE fee based on the number of kids going divided by number of rooms needed? If there were 13 girls, does that mean that 12 of them get to pay less because they can share 3 rooms while 1 girl gets to pay a ton because she gets a room to herself??
He's a big boy, I'd have no problem telling him money's so tight it's going to be tough to send him. If he really, really wants to go - then he's going to have to find a way to earn money. If that means you pay and he pays you back, then fine.
Does he have a job? If it was just his money paying for the trip, would he still want to go? If he only wants to go because of his GF going then that's not enough for me to pay the big bucks...
FWIW - my 15yr old DS is not going on his school trip this year as it is very expensive and he has already been and done the area the trip is in (We used to live much closer to that area and he went with the previous school). However I did make a deal with my DS if he wanted to go he had to come up with part of the money. He did. Then he decided he wanted to save for something and the trip was all so suddenly not important!
Good luck with his decision.
My kids' high school started doing graduation trips to WDW. They were outrageous and my DD and her best friend actually did a trip on spring break their own instead. It was a lot less than the 1K or so for a 4 days trip. How long is the trip? Royal Plaza is not an expensive hotel to begin with but divided by 4, probably less than $30./night for each kid.
I agree with Hidden Mickey. If money is tight, tell him you cannot afford it and if he wants to go he has to pay. I would guess that given his ambiguity, he will chose not to go.
The cost the kids are paying to go sound like way too much! If he really doesn't want to go, expect for seeing his GF, I was suggest him not going. That a lot of money they could do lots of fun stuff with after she gets home.
I'm here quickly as MIL is coming in to town (soon) but I did forget to mention one big thing.. Brendan is using his money to pay for it.. He's got half of the initial deposit & was going to give that.. plus he does have a job so he'd be the person paying.. If anything we'd probably only give him a couple hundred dollars & that would be if he didn't have enough for the final payment.
will respond more later after I get a couple rooms cleaned for the queen! (er I mean MIL)
Tell your son it's 100% his decision; he's old enough to make choices like that on his own now. And then reassure him that whatever his decision is, you'll back him up 110%, and do whatever you can to put the money together.
Quote:
I just hate for him to make the wrong choice & regret his decision either way
Think of it this way: this is a relatively minor event in his life, if you takethe long view. Wouldn't it be better for him to make a choice, and even be disappointed with it ... and learn to deal with that dissapointment ... now, rather than when the choice is much, much more important?
He has been handed an opportunity to "try out" making a Big Decision when he's old enough to really put thought into it, but still young enough that it's not a Life-Determining Decision.
Count that as a blessing, support him, and ... let him take the chance of stumbling, or standing tall, all on his own.
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My DD had the same problem a few years ago. The cost of sending her with the band was so much more that if she went with us.
This is what we did: We went down as a family and she stayed with us. We took the responsibility of getting her to the parks when she needed to be there for band things and the rest of the time we let her choose between touring the parks with her friends and touring with us. We wanted to see her march anyway, so it was less expensive for us to have her with us. The band director was completely supportive of our choice.
If you're going down anyway to see him march, I'd suggest doing the same. There was a fee from Disney to have her participate in Magic Music Days, but it was still much much less expensive for her to go with us.
My DD had the same problem a few years ago. The cost of sending her with the band was so much more that if she went with us.
This is what we did: We went down as a family and she stayed with us. We took the responsibility of getting her to the parks when she needed to be there for band things and the rest of the time we let her choose between touring the parks with her friends and touring with us. We wanted to see her march anyway, so it was less expensive for us to have her with us. The band director was completely supportive of our choice.
If you're going down anyway to see him march, I'd suggest doing the same. There was a fee from Disney to have her participate in Magic Music Days, but it was still much much less expensive for her to go with us.
This is exactly what we want to do.. Many other bands in our area do this & there's no problem but our band has never done that & I'm not sure if the director will approve of it.. but after talking to Brendan tonight this is where his heart is leading him so I'm going to e-mail the director tomorrow (upon Brens request) & see if this is possible & go from there..
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) but I did forget to mention one big thing.. Brendan is using his money to pay for it.. He's got half of the initial deposit & was going to give that.. plus he does have a job so he'd be the person paying.. If anything we'd probably only give him a couple hundred dollars & that would be if he didn't have enough for the final payment. 
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