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Old 05-16-2006, 12:15 PM   #1
mac
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What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

My brother-in-law (DH's brother) is going on a cruise for his honeymoon, and has invited the family to join them. They have just set a wedding date for April of next year. Originally the wedding was going to be in July, but it was a day that DH could not get off from work (he works at a power plant, and they are very strict). My sister-in-law to be wanted to switch it to the previous weekend, which was fine with us we just wouldn't be able to go on the cruise (again, it was the week that DH couldn't get off from work). My MIL told her that we wouldn't be able to go on the cruise that week and she said "Oh well, I can't change everything to make everyone happy" in front of me (her and DH aren't the best of friends [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]). Well, to make a long story short my MIL really wants us to go on the cruise so I think she pressured them to switch the date completely. DH doesn't even want to go on the cruise, and told my MIL that several times. Now she keeps asking me about it, and I am caught in the middle of this.

Here is the problem. DH told them that we cannot afford to go (which is true). However, we have a trip to Disney planed for October (that everyone knows about, it's been planned for awhile). How can we say we can't afford to go on the cruise, but we are going to Disney? We definitely can't afford to do both so it has to be one or the other. Do we cancel our trip to WDW to make MIL happy and keep peace with the family?

I apologize if this is confusing. I am so frustrated and stressed by this!!!!!
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Old 05-16-2006, 12:18 PM   #2
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

I think you can justify it. You are taking your daughter on her first trip to Disney. That's where you guys want to go with her. Would she go on the cruise with you? Even if she is, I'm sure she would enjoy Disney more. You really shouldn't have to justify, but if asked, explain that the Disney trip is for Isabella, and you have planned it for a long time. I, personally wouldn't cancel the Disney trip.
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Old 05-16-2006, 12:23 PM   #3
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

Where do you want to go? I know like I have to ask that question. I would keep the Disney trip and just tell MIL and the family that you will not going on the cruise. There's plenty of time to do that. There's just 1 time that Disney will be not to be missed with Miss Isabella! You have already planned the trip to Disney and now they want you to go on the cruise. Go enjoy the wedding and don't worry about a family honeymoon...
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Old 05-16-2006, 12:29 PM   #4
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

Just tell them you can't afford the cruise because you've had this Disney trip in the works for a while now. I think Isabella will appreciate Disney more than a cruise at her tender age.
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Old 05-16-2006, 12:31 PM   #5
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

I agree telling them you can't swing it financially, as you already have money invested in your already planned October trip. It sounds like your DH doesn't want to go, so I'd just try to bow out of it! Good luck Michelle [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]
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Old 05-16-2006, 12:47 PM   #6
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

I know what a tight spot you're in, hope it works out! [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] I don't like it when others pressure me into expensive and time-consuming plans. And even though I'd jump at the chance to cruise go on a cruise w/my family I think I'd rather just spend my honeymoon with one other person. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/082502yes_prv.gif[/img] I hope you can just tell MiL that you've had this Disney trip planned for a while. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/luck.gif[/img]
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Old 05-16-2006, 12:55 PM   #7
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

It sounds like that no matter what your decision is your MIL won't be happy. I would simply explain that you have had this trip booked and paid for and you simply do not have the money to take the cruise.
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Old 05-16-2006, 12:57 PM   #8
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

Keep the Disney trip. It's what you want to do
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Old 05-16-2006, 01:05 PM   #9
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

[ QUOTE ]
It sounds like that no matter what your decision is your MIL won't be happy. I would simply explain that you have had this trip booked and paid for and you simply do not have the money to take the cruise.

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/ubb/images/graemlins/yeahthat.gif[/img]
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Old 05-16-2006, 01:36 PM   #10
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

[ QUOTE ]
It sounds like that no matter what your decision is your MIL won't be happy. I would simply explain that you have had this trip booked and paid for and you simply do not have the money to take the cruise.

[/ QUOTE ]

This sounds like what I would do.
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Old 05-16-2006, 02:07 PM   #11
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

I'd keep the Disney trip and tell the family about the no-go on the cruise. If they want you to do something that THEY want you to do, then they should offer to pay for it.
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Old 05-16-2006, 02:17 PM   #12
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

What a stressful decision to have to make! I have to agree with everyone else...I would plan on taking the Disney trip since you have had it planned for quite some time now. Maybe just explain that you can't afford to do both and that you already have the money set aside for your Disney trip. It's their honeymoon anyway...I am thinking that the focus will be on the two of them and hopefully they won't be too concerned with the fact that you and DH won't be joining them. It seems like it is your MIL who will be the most upset. Hopefully she can understand that you can't afford to do both and that Isabella will have more fun at Disney than she would on a cruise. Good luck...keep us posted!
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Old 05-16-2006, 02:32 PM   #13
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

Is this the Bermuda cruise?? There is FAR FAR more for her at WDW than a Bermuda cruise plus the crossing to Bermuda is where a lot of cruisers get sick so if you have any motion sickness issues, you could use that reason alone. I don't think NCL offers much of anything in the way of actvities for her age.
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Old 05-16-2006, 02:46 PM   #14
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

I'll be the oddball (I'm obviously the wdw neophyte here) and suggest you drop the Disney plans and attend the cruise with family. Events like this don't/probably won't happen often in a lifetime. A cruise ship offers lots of space to escape those you don't want to be around and cruises can be a lot of fun. Maybe this is just one of those times you suck it up and take one for the team. Who knows, maybe it will be a good opportunity for the family to bond with the new in-law. It beats the alternative of making her feel isolated right from the start. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
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Old 05-16-2006, 04:22 PM   #15
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Re: What to do (family/vacation dilemma)

[img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] How horrible that you were put in the middle of this. I would go to WDW! I wouldn't want to go on a cruise with a honeymoon couple. I think your family will have more fun at WDW.
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