Have guest pay portion of the trip?
About This Page:

MickeyRules · 01-10-2016, 09:37 AM

We are planning a trip to Disney for our family of 4 and our daughter's boyfriend (20). He's a very sweet young man and we're more than happy to have him join us. We started saving for our trip last year--we are staying at CBR (to have a room for 5), and have tickets and dining plan for 8 days. We'll be driving down.

Is it rude of us to ask the boyfriend to contribute $500 towards the trip since he's our guest?

**Caldercup** · 01-10-2016, 11:13 AM

I would think it perfectly fine for him to cover the cost of his tickets and his dining plan. I would think he'd even expect to be asked.

toddjodybrent · 01-10-2016, 11:14 AM

I would say it is appropriate, but make sure he knows well in advance and offer him a payment plan.
Have a great trip!

Her Dotness · 01-10-2016, 11:17 AM

I'm not entirely clear if he's already been asked to join you or been told that he's welcome to come with your family. If he has, then I have these concerns.

Is he financially independent or still partially supported by his parents? If the latter, you might get yourselves in a very sticky situation by suddenly asking for money he may not have. You might anyway if he's not fully self-supporting or understands "guest" to mean no cost to him.

Unless there was a conversation when he was invited to go with your family about his contributing to the cost of the trip, I would consider it rude to move the goalposts now, so to speak. That would also be my feeling had he offered to pay something toward expenses then, and you said your family considered him your guest.

Now, you might possibly phrase it apologetically as having some unanticipated expenses that force you to ask if he could see his way to contributing toward the cost. However, I think specifying how much you wish him to pay would be rude unless he asks how much you consider a reasonable amount from him. Then, be prepared to negotiate in case he says he can afford much less than you hoped he would pay which could produce hard feelings on both sides.

That's why I wouldn't invite anyone without being able to cover all costs unless there's a clear understanding from the start that the person (parents of a minor child) will pay x-amount, pay for his/her own room and expenses as if a solo traveler, whatever is mutually agreed upon at that point. (What if, for instance, the person must cancel for some reason after your PIF date, leaving you with non-refundable costs? It's safer to plan to cover all costs if you must when inviting a non-family member.)

P.S. Another concern I'd have is how comfortable everyone will be five in a room when he's not a family member. Maybe their relationship is close enough that it isn't a problem, but I would want to be sure that he understands he won't have his own room if that's your plan.

Huntermom · 01-10-2016, 11:36 AM

I am old, so my first thought was why you were inviting your DD's boyfriend to share a room with you? IMHO it is not acceptable.

To me, a guest is your treat. If you have already invited him what was the conversation like? If you implied it would be paid for by you, then now you cannot ask for funds.

I think even at that young age, my kids would ask about contributing when invited. DD did a spring break trip with her BF senior year of high school and it was clear from the beginning what her friend's family would cover. (donated their DVC points and flew standby with DD's father's discount.). If this is a college kid, depending on his finances, a trip to Disney may not be a priority or in his budget.

We have taken friends of my kids and relatives. Each time I picked up the tab but the parents offered to contribute. I used this money for the child's souvenirs and some meals but had budgeted to pay the full bill.

revral · 01-10-2016, 11:51 AM

I agree with Her Dotness & Huntermom. If you've already invited him & didn't ask for him to pay something then I would plan on paying for everything. I'd have the same concerns as Huntermom about all five of you in a single room If I were you I'd seriously consider a family suite at All Star Music or two rooms at one of the value resorts both would be about the same cost & possibly less than a single room at a moderate & give everyone a bit more space.

GingerJ · 01-10-2016, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by revral

I agree with Her Dotness & Huntermom. If you've already invited him & didn't ask for him to pay something then I would plan on paying for everything. I'd have the same concerns as Huntermom about all five of you in a single room If I were you I'd seriously consider a family suite at All Star Music or two rooms at one of the value resorts both would be about the same cost & possibly less than a single room at a moderate & give everyone a bit more space.

Two rooms at a value seem a lot better to me....for one thing, 5 people and one bathroom?

I'd put the males in one room, the females in another. And bring a sleeping bag if you have 3 guys in one room; males are funny about sharing beds--you could even have one guy using the covers and the other with a sleeping bag, head to foot in the same bed.

When I took DS and 2 of his friends, when I asked the parents, I told them I'd pay for gas and the room since those would be the same whether they were there or not, and for the food, but asked them to buy their sons' tickets (I only asked for half the price of the tickets from the family that was recovering from financial difficulties, just $165).

notjustamom · 01-10-2016, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Unless there was a conversation when he was invited to go with your family about his contributing to the cost of the trip, I would consider it rude to move the goalposts now, so to speak. That would also be my feeling had he offered to pay something toward expenses then, and you said your family considered him your guest.

ferrazalves · 01-10-2016, 01:34 PM

It's all depend on how you invite him.....for example we often bring our niece with us and we pay for everything once she is our guest. Also we took my SIL and BIL, and my husband considered paying for everything - my BIL contribute with enough money for his part but it was not asked for.
In the other hand a friend of mine would be going with her daughter for a Disney vacation on her own in the same period. As we were staying in a large room (already booked and paid for) and there was space for both, DH and I invited her to tag along, but it was clear that she was not a " guest" - she offered to pay her part of the room but we declined. But all the rest (air tickets, disney tickets, meals and souvenirs) were paid by her. Also we asked her to pay her part of the rental car once we needed a bigger car than we've initially considered.

Her Dotness · 01-10-2016, 01:51 PM

I think ferrazalves raises an important issue: How is "guest" understood by the boyfriend and your family?

If I were told that someone considers me their guest, I would think that meant they're paying. To me, your saying of him, "...he's our guest" is reasonably understood as not expecting him to share the cost.

Phrasing it, "We'd like you to join us on our Disney trip if you feel you'd like to come and can afford to." Blunt, yes, but immediately clear that you are not planning to pay the invitee's expenses. In essence, the person is thought of as a travel companion but not a guest.

Yes, I know that "guest" is often a synonym for "customer" anymore which only contributes to possible misunderstandings in a situation like this when one party thinks "paying guest" whereas another understands "guest" to mean "being paid for."

HollyH · 01-10-2016, 03:38 PM

Couple of thoughts: 5 in a room seems like a lot. Are you sure CBR will accommodate you? I am not aware that they can accommodate 5 in the room, unless something has recently changed. Also, I am assuming that 3 or 4 are full grown adults given DD's boyfriend is 20. Keep in mind that you will have precious little space or privacy and will have to share 1 bathroom, but you will also incur an extra charge per night ($10? ) for each additional adult in the room. I would look for other options (2 value rooms. family suites come to mind).

Also, it could be considered rude to now ask for money if this wasn't addressed when you invited him. I have invited friends along on trips, but I made it clear up front what I would cover and what I would not cover for expenses. Like Dot suggested, there may be a way you could phrase it that might be okay "Would you be able to contribute toward your park ticket?" but be prepared to know how you will handle it if he says he can't. Will you uninvite him? Can you afford to have him go with you as your guest if you cut expenses in other ways (downgrade tickets, forgo the dining plan and eat fewer sit down meals, etc.)?

Sue M. · 01-11-2016, 03:53 AM

I agree that if his paying wasn't discussed with him when you invited him, it's too late to do so now.
If it was clear when you invited him that he'd have to pay a portion of the trip, and he is aware of costs then it's fair.

The Murphy bed in the rooms for 5 at CBR and POR are not full size beds. Just so you know. Not sure of sleeping arrangements in your room, but the pull down bed is shorter then a regular bed.

MayraLR · 01-11-2016, 09:32 AM

If you already invited him and didn't initially talk about his contribution, I'd say no you shouldn't ask him to pay. Although, if that happened to me and I wasn't asked to pay anything, I would offer.

If you haven't invited him yet, then when you do I'd show him the plans and costs and ask him if he'd be willing to contribute x amount for him to go.

Now, I'd be more concerned about space in the room. As stated above, the murphy bed (which I assume would go to the boyfriend) is that big. And one bathroom for 5 people can be kind of tricky. I'd consider a suite at All Star Music or AoA, or two rooms at either value.

Angela531 · 01-11-2016, 10:30 AM

We have invited DD17 BFF to join us on our summer trip to Traverse City, Michigan and Mackinac Island. The extra expense is a lot since this is peak season with Cherry Festival and the 4th of July holiday holiday. Having her join us means we are booking a 2-BR suite, which is increasing the room rate an extra $150 ish per night. There will also be added expenses for the ferry ticket, admission to the Fort and other activity fees as well as food. We would never dream of asking for her to pay for any of this as it was our choice to invite her. When we invite a guest we say they would only need to bring money if they want to have some extra spending money for their personal shopping and souvenirs (although we will cover one or two souvenirs for her too as we typically do for our girls; her money would just be if she wanted more things).

Our DD has vacationed with friends as well and this has always been how she was treated as well. We send her with $50-$100 in spending money, depending on where they are going and/or how long.

I agree that the CBR room will likely be too small as the pull down bed is meant for a small child. On our last trip at POR they even mentioned this at checkin that it is only meant for those under 9 years of age.