Just put my mother into a nursing home - Page 3 - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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I'm sorry for you having to make that decision. My grandmother hid her dementia fairly well until after grandpa died - then it was like someone else took over, overnight!
After a few years (something like 7) of in-home care, we (mom, Dsis, and I - grandma has/had 2 other children and 3 other granddaughters, but did they help - NO!) made the decision to put grandma in a "home". By then, there was really nothing left to her. I told people my grandmother died way before then - the person who my younger children knew was not my grandma - that was a stranger.
DH's grandma was in a nursing home for almost 10 years. She LOVED it! Think about it; daily activities, friends you don't have to make plans to go see - they're already there!, food prepared and brought to you, someone else does your laundry, and those lovely nurses will talk to you!! (that was Granny B's take on why she loved the home!).
You've made the correct decision for your mother and for you. Trust me on this. My mother aged about 20 years in the 7 years she tried to keep grandma at home.
Pixies for you, your mom, and your family. It will be okay.
So sorry you have had to make this decision but it certainly sounds like the right one for both of you! She will be safe and you won't have to worry as much. Sounds like she is settling in well.
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Laurie.. so sad. But it is the safest route for her to be in the continued care. It sounds like she may be relieved to not have to worry about the daily chores of keeping house. I have an an Aunt in a nursing facilitie. She just turned 88. Sadly most of her memory is gone as dementia has taken her over the past few months. She does not recognise me anymore and even when I say who I am, it only stays with her a few minutes. My last visit we went through the names of her sisters.. and we discussed who was still living and who had died. Imagine my surprise when she asked me if Debbie had died... I told her .. No she was still alive but it threw me for a loop. I think she was remembering my Mom ( her baby sister) who passed away at age 45. But It took me a bit to realize that. I hope the visits don't become too upsetting for you.. its so hard to watch a loved one fade like that with thier memory.
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I really appreciate all the input and good wishes, everyone! I'm very lucky that, so far, she appears to be quite content in her new situation. The next step is closing her apartment. I'm going to ask her few friends to come and choose a memento. When I sold my home I had Habitat for Humanity come in and take everything for re-use or sale and I'll do the same thing here. Her finances, what's left of them, are in a mess. She kept meticulous files, but I now realize that they only looked neat on the surface. Everything is misfiled. I can't find any bank statements or this year's tax returns and she kept the oddest things..... I suppose we all do that!
I'm so sorry. You made the right decision, though I remember when I did my nursing school clinical in a nursing home...the residents were happy. They had their friends, and they visited and ate together. You can relax because you know she is being taken care of---I can imagine how difficult it must be to make that decision though. Now, I'm on the other side, on an orthopedic unit, and I see how many patients come in because they are older, alone and fell with broken hips, femurs, shoulders. Believe me, you made the best decision.
Laurie, try not too do too much at once-always remember to take care of yourself. I think caretakers often forgot that.
Does your mom have a durable power of attorney? A health care proxy? If not you might want to get them while she still has moments of clarity. It is not fun to have to file emergency papers when a medical decision needs to be made and the doc won't accept the person's consent. It happened with my mother in law, who had two children and two of the children's spouses who were attorneys. Sort of like the cobbler's children without shoes.
Laurie, try not too do too much at once-always remember to take care of yourself. I think caretakers often forgot that.
Does your mom have a durable power of attorney? A health care proxy? If not you might want to get them while she still has moments of clarity. It is not fun to have to file emergency papers when a medical decision needs to be made and the doc won't accept the person's consent. It happened with my mother in law, who had two children and two of the children's spouses who were attorneys. Sort of like the cobbler's children without shoes.
This is REALLY good advice! Unfortunately, we waited too long for the power of attorney. She wouldn't agree to do anything-- no discussions about last wishes, power of attorney, even when I told her what I was setting up for myself. Now she hasn't any moments when she is really lucid. The last thing I had her sign was her June rent check and I had to remind her what her last name is! Fortunately, years ago her doctor got her to sign a health-care proxy and the nursing home had it affirmed on her first day there. I'm in the process of getting power of attorney, which would have been so easy (and inexpensive!) to do before she was in this condition.
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I told her .. No she was still alive
but it threw me for a loop. I think she was remembering my Mom ( her baby sister) who passed away at age 45. But It took me a bit to realize that. I hope the visits don't become too upsetting for you.. its so hard to watch a loved one fade like that with thier memory.
I remember when I did my nursing school clinical in a nursing home...the residents were happy. They had their friends, and they visited and ate together. You can relax because you know she is being taken care of---I can imagine how difficult it must be to make that decision though. Now, I'm on the other side, on an orthopedic unit, and I see how many patients come in because they are older, alone and fell with broken hips, femurs, shoulders. Believe me, you made the best decision.
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