As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
Thank you to each of you who were a part of this community. You made it possible.
And a very special thank you to our Guides (moderators), past and present, who kept our forums a happy place to be. You are the glue that held everything together, and we are forever grateful to you. Thank you aliceinwdw, Caldercup, MrsM, WillCAD, Fortissimo, GingerJ, HiddenMickey, CRCrazy, Eeyoresmom, disneyknut, disneydani, Cam22, chezp, WDWfan, Luvsun, KMB733, rescuesk, OhToodles!, Colexis Mom, lfredsbo, HiddenMickey, DrDolphin, DopeyGirl, duck addict, Disneybine, PixieMichele, Sandra Bostwick, Eeyore Tattoo, DyanKJ130, Suzy Q'Disney, LilMarcieMouse, AllisonG, Belle*, Chrissi, Brant, DawnDenise, Crystalloubear, Disneymom9092, FanOfMickey, Goofy4Goofy, GoofyMom, Home4us123, iamgrumpy, ilovedisney247, Jennifer2003, Jenny Pooh, KrisLuvsDisney, Ladyt, Laughaholic88, LauraBelle Hime, Lilianna, LizardCop, Loobyoxlip, lukeandbrooksmom, marisag, michnash, MickeyMAC, OffKilter_Lynn, PamelaK, Poor_Eeyore, ripkensnana, RobDVC, SHEANA1226, Shell of the South, snoozin, Statelady01, Tara O'Hara, tigger22, Tink and Co., Tinkerbelz, WDWJAMBA, wdwlovers, Wendyismyname, whoSEZ, WildforWD, and WvuGrrrl. You made the magic.
We want to personally thank Sara Varney, who coordinated our community for many years (among so many other things she did for us), and Cheryl Pendry, our Message Board Manager who helped train our Guides, and Ginger Jabour, who helped us with the PassPorter-specific forums and Live! Guides. Thank you for your time, energy, and enthusiasm. You made it all happen.
There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.
So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
And we are no longer charging for the Live Guides. If you have a subscription, it's yours to keep for the lifetime of the Live Guides at no additional cost. The Live Guides will stay online, barring server issues and technical problems, for all of 2019.
That said, PassPorter is not going away. Most of the resources will remain online for as long as we can support them, and after that we will find ways to make whatever we can available. PassPorter means a great deal to us, and to many of you, and we will do our best to keep it alive in whatever way we can. Our server costs are high, and they'll need to come out of our pockets, so in the future you can expect some changes so we can bring those costs down.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing support over the years. Without you, there's no way us little guys could have made something like this happen and given the "big guys" a run for their money. PassPorter was consistently the #3 guidebook after the Unofficial and Official guides, which was really unheard of for such a small company to do. We ROCKED it thanks to you and your support and love!
If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.
So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!
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MY life would be better without him, but my kids....I'm not so sure. I haven't left yet, because, the kids don't see us fight, because we don't even speak. It is just sad for me to think that the kids can't be with both parents all the time. I was married before and my oldest son is from that marriage. I don't know if I can bring myself to do that to 2 more children. My DS 1 is another reason that I really "need" to leave. My husband has never really been nice to my son...it varies from ignoring him, to cussing/yelling at him. He never speaks to him in a kind way.
The kids may not see you fight, but they can feel the tension and see your
sadness. I agree that the way your husband acts around your DS1 is horrible
and should be one of the BIG reasons you leave. I hope you can find some peace
soon.
You really do need to do something. Consulting a lawyer would be a good start and starting a savings for you and the kids would also be a good idea. This doesn't sound like a marriage anymore and it also appears that your DS1 and DD are at best, ignored by H and at worst....abused by him. Abuse doesn't haven't to include hitting...neglect and emotional/verbal abuse can be just a damaging as physical abuse. You really need to move on with your life and find the place in this world where you and your children will be happy. And having two divorces doesn't make you a failure. I have a friend who has been married three times and her current husband has been married three times.....and they have finally found the right person in each other. Besides, you don't need a husband/boyfriend to "make your life complete." Sounds like you have three beautiful children who love you....and that's what matters. Focus on yourself and your children. From what you have posted this man you are married to is not worth the effort you have been putting out. HE certainly isn't putting out any kind of effort and is only interested in what he wants. Not someone I would want to be married to.
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Jennifer / Eeyore is my favorite!! OMG - He's sooooo grown up!!!! And an EAGLE SCOUT!! I can still remember my cute little Tiger Cub! 2016 Reading Goal - 75 books
WOW ... Allison, i have no direct advice for you...sounds like life sucks bigtime for you. having met you, i know what a great gal you are. you husband is a heel, plain and simple. sounds to me like he is up to no good and has something already on the side that he is financing. i'd get the helloutofdodge and in a hurry. but that is me. pixies for you, my dear....i know it would be devestating to the kiddos, but this is devestating to you right now and that means you cannot be the great mom to them you want to be. i hope you make the right decision for yourself....hugs, friend.
When I decided to leave my ex husband, I spent six months packing up the stuff I wanted from the attic, opening up a bank account in my own name ( at the same bank, which was stupid), and planning the day I was to leave. My ex-husband was a avid hunter so I planned to leave while he was gun hunting for deer on opening day. Every year he was gone from sunrise to sunset. Don't you know, this year he gets a deer in the first couple of hours and comes homes to find my family moving furniture out of the house and a UHAUL truck. I had threaten to leave so many times and had stayed at my parent's house that he thought I was doing it again. Little did he know that I rented an apartment in my name away from him. Needless to say the separation got nasty, with him threatening to kill me over taking half the bank account. I left him a penny more than I took. I had to get a restraining order against him to keep him away from me. I moved from New Jersey to California to avoid him finding me for 6 years. I just moved back from California in 2008.
Can I pull out my hair now???
I didn't realize how lonely I truly was until the last couple of days. I got a message via facebook from a friend who had friended my highschool sweetheart. Well then he and I friended each other and just that reconnection reminded me of how it feels to love and be loved. Old memories, even though they were good, sure have caused my heart to ache.
Our brief messages have been completely platonic, and even if they had not, he lives all the way in Hawaii. He said really sweet things about me and our past together and it just made my heart remember feelings long smothered by bitterness and time.
This all sounds kind of sad, but maybe remembering that my heart was capable of feeling love for a man will help me move forward with my life. Mind you, it is not that I have any plans to ever be involved with anyone again, but I know I don't want to continue to feel miserable and lonely. And like you all said, my kids deserve to have a mom who isn't miserable...I'm sure they see it, even though I try my best to hide it.
scarey? yes. impossible? no. and things DO happen for a reason. the reconnecting with old friends is most likely the universe "prompting" you with an old pleasant memory...it is saying you need to move on and get "back" to that place where you had self esteem, self worth and self love. you can't do for you kids until you do for you, girlfriend! and if nothing else, i would get thee to a counselor or someone who can help you find your b-lls so you can leave this jerk who does not deserve to be called a man. yeah, a little dramatic maybe, but please get out.....
I am not on the mortgage loan and not on the deed, as we bought the house just prior to getting married, so I cannot get any info. from the bank.
That may not necessarily be true. It depends on how your State handles property ownership when it comes to married couples. I think you should make a few discrete inquiries with an attorney - you should be able to get free legal advice from your local Legal Aid Society.
Being his spouse may - and in many places, absolutely WOULD - give you co-ownership of any home, no matter whose name is on the deed. And might thus empower you to require the Mortgage company to speak to you, whether your name is on the paperwork for the mortgage or not.
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My husband's father is very good friends with the local mayor and family court judge and I am afraid that, even though, I am a good mom, work full time, and have a good family, that things, esp, custody would be ruled on unfairly.
Should it ever come to that, the friendship with your father-in-law is a clear conflict of interests. The judge should recuse themselves - and if your attorney knows of that conflict of interest, s/he would certainly ask the judge to do just that. Failing that, a motion for a change of venue would not seem to be out of order.
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I really feel like living on my own with the kids would be so much more pleasant and easy. I could easily afford it, even without child support....
With evidence that your husband has been filing to pay the mortgage, you might be able to get the house AND the kids, should you seek a divorce. Especially if you were to specifically offer to forgo alimony and/or child support in return for, say ... taking over the existing mortgage (IOW, taking the house AND the debt attached to it).
I really, seriously, honestly think you need to speak to an attorney. Someone who your husband's family and their friends have NO connection to, if possible.
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Sigh.......WWYD?
I'd go online, find a referral service, and get myself referred to an attorney or legal firm that specialises in Divorce cases. Preferably, someone in the next town, or even further away, in order to minimise the influence your husband and his family might, even unconsciously, exert over them.
I'd also DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Keep records - like that letter from the mortgage company. Start copying (printouts too) everything from your computer, showing his contacts with other women. If you have a joint bank account or credit card, keep the statements, or make photocopies.
And keep them someplace your husband won't or can't find them. Handing them to your attorney would be a good idea, for that.
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And I really do appreciate you all letting me vent.
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No, he most certainly is not, if even HALF of what you say is even HALF-true.
Your children are learning that a woman "should" let her husband treat her like a doormat, or a servant ... and that it is normal and natural for a man to lie to his wife, cheat on her, and (yes) not pay his share of the bills.
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....just lazy and sets poor examples and looses his temper and gets a little physically rough at times. I believe in spanking, but he goes too far.
Those are not the hallmarks of a "decent father", they are signs of an abuser.
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MY life would be better without him, but my kids....I'm not so sure. I haven't left yet, because, the kids don't see us fight, because we don't even speak.
They see you "not speaking", and believe me, that right there does enough damage.
Kids learn how to be parents, and how to be in a relationship, by watching their parents. They are watching you and your husband "not speak", and will come to think that such behavior is normal. Do you want that for your kids?
Do you want your daughter to feel trapped in a relationship like yours ... and think that it's "just the way it's supposed to be" ...? No? Then, LEAVE HIM.
Do you want either of your sons treating a woman the way your husband treats you (lies, deception, "not speaking", seeing other women, not paying bills, verbally abusing and./or ignoring at least some of their own kids), when they've grown up, because they think that's how husbands and fathers are supposed to act? No? Then, LEAVE HIM.
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My husband has never really been nice to my son...it varies from ignoring him, to cussing/yelling at him. He never speaks to him in a kind way.
... and that is certainly doing as much damage to him, as if your husband were to ball up a fist and PUNCH your oldest son.
Believe me on that. My father wasn't physically abusive, but he was emotionally abusive (and manipulative, and unreliable, and ... well. "Not a great dad", let's say, and leve it at that). And so, many (if not all) of the issues that render me unemployably disabled, can be laid squarely at his feet.
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I just feel like a fool for staying, but leaving also makes me feel like a fool....twice married, twice failed.
The failures aren't yours. The failures are the men you've had the misfortune to fall in love with - and love is never rational, and only rarely "smart", to begin with.
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I think he would fight for custody of our son, but not daughter. Not because he doesn't love our daughter, but he lives vicariously through our DS.
Fighting for only one child would lose him BOTH. What message do you think a court would receive, as to someone's fitness to be a parent, if they wanted to "pick and choose" ...?
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I think my husband would sell our house if we divorced [...]
A good divorce attorney would slap a lien on the property before your husband could even THINK the words "for sale".
Thanks for the continued well wishes and advise. I sincerely appreciate it.
I did find out from my BF(works for the county attorney) that I will have no legal rights to the house or property, because it was premarital. I suppose that I could offer to take over the payments in lieu of child support though, but this house is older and will need new AC and roof in the fairly new future, plus it has a leaky basement, yuck! On the other hand it is really cheap!
I am just going to keep my head down, bite my tongue, pay off my debt, save a little money and then get the heck out of dodge. My BF doesn't think that the judge would be influenced by my father in law. I'll update as I know more.
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