Feeling down today...being single sticks! UPDATE...kinda
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snoozy · 06-16-2005, 02:22 PM

Robin you shouldn't feel so down. If anything you should feel empathy for the new wife. Just think she is going to go through the exact same thing as you. You might want to warn her in some way.

Anyways you are away from that negativity you should be happy. Cheer up.

BritDisFan · 06-16-2005, 02:42 PM

I'm sorry you are not feeling so great today Robin but it sounds like you are best off out of that marriage. I am sure you will meet a wonderful man one day who will treat you like a princess

.

Karen

Sunrayherosgirl · 06-16-2005, 02:52 PM

Robin,
I know exactly how you feel, my mom married the biggest creep on the earth and stayed with him for 9 years. You name it he did it. They divorced about 9/10 years ago and he is very very financially secure and has 2 kids and a wife. It breaks my moms heart because she struggles to find the money to get a used car and his wife just bought 3 cars to celebrate her birthday. I told her it doesn't matter though because what goes around comes around and I promise you in the end he won't get off so easily!

So keep your head up and just keep on being the great person you are and you will find someone to love you for you and to treat you like the princess you are...and when you find him see if he has a younger brother and send him my way

**HiddenMickey** · 06-16-2005, 03:06 PM

Robin-
My sister was in a very similar situation to you. She was all the way across the country with her husband who was very mentally and verbally abusive. She left him when it became clear that it could escalate to physical after five years of marriage. She had to leave almost all her things behind and moved back to be with our parents. It was a very difficult thing for her....but totally the right thing to do. She did a lot of reading in self-help books that helped her regain her self-esteem (I recommend this to you too). Anyway, a couple years ago, she told us that her ex had gotten remarried. All we could think about was... that poor woman! I'm sure my sister was thinking...why him and not me, its not fair? Two years later she is busy planning her wedding, to a guy that is so perfect for her.

I'm sure things will happen for you to. Remember what I said in a thread a while back. You've got to get out there and do things and make yourself available to new experience and new places. Volunteer, join conservation groups, do something that will keep you busy and make your days full. And maybe one of these new places or experiences will lead you to Mr. Right

And do look for some good self-help books too!

Best to you! -HiddenMickey

FanOfMickey · 06-16-2005, 03:14 PM

Robin, I agree with Sarah, you are in a much better place now. And I don't think your ex has found marital bliss either, I think it just means now some other woman is getting emotionally abused

hktmom · 06-16-2005, 03:50 PM

Heather

DANAinSACTOWN · 06-16-2005, 04:20 PM

Robin,

I'll inject a little sensitive male perspective here. I believe I am in the majority of men who cannot even conceive of the kind of abuse you have experienced. I hate that there are men capable of such things. My wife works for the local metropolitan newspaper and sees wire stories all the time about child abuse (why is it always men?). It's heart-breaking. I am in total agreement with previous posters who have said that your ex is now very likely abusing another. I also agree that you are a very courageous woman for getting out, and staying out of that relationship. As was previously mentioned, it's harder to get out than to stay in. Now that you're free to choose (and I use that choice of words very deliberately), choose carefully.

hktmom · 06-16-2005, 04:27 PM

Dana,

We are so glad to have such an obviously wonderful man on this site to keep balance and harmony.

Heather

Jillybean · 06-16-2005, 04:27 PM

Robin,

Just remember that he is probably not finding happiness - - just finding a new victim for his abuse.

You are a vibrant, beautiful woman and you WILL find the perfect soul mate for you -- just when you least expect it!

Here are some feel better pixies in the meantime!

Jill

GATechGal · 06-16-2005, 04:29 PM

Robin,
You just keep kissing those frogs and one's BOUND to turn into a prince. [img]http://smileys.*************.com/cat/11/11_5_6.gif[/img]It just takes time. I know it seems like forever, but it will happen for you I know.

Annabel · 06-16-2005, 04:41 PM

Just wanted to send you lots of

and

We are all here for you. I went thru the same thing years ago, my first husband was a bully and I endured a lot of physical and emotional abuse. I eventually got out and now thankfully I have nothing to do with him at all. What we go through makes us stronger as a person. Well done for getting out of your situation, you are in a much better place now and someone is out there waiting for you. Don't give up hope. Big hugs, I hope you are feeling happier soon

katspjs · 06-16-2005, 04:41 PM

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Kudos to you for getting out of that situation, Robin! And,

don't think for a second that your ex has found marital bliss...he is just controlling another woman again. No one can truly be happy in that type of situation. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I've seen way too much abuse in my profession, and you should be proud of yourself! Set your standards high....seriously, make a list of what you want & don't want in a spouse, refer to it often....remind yourself that you deserve to be someone's "Belle!"

Smile, and try to have a GREAT day!

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I think Lea summed it up. Your Prince Charming will come along one day - and when he does, he'll be someone who deserves someone as special as you Robin.

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Pooh1219 · 06-16-2005, 04:55 PM

I guess I'm in the minority here, but being single does NOT stink - it's just different. Maybe your Prince Charming will come along one day, and you'll live happily ever after. But if he doesn't, that's all right, too, because life is not only about meeting your prince. The most important thing is to keep things in perspective, and realize that you don't have to have someone else to complete you. You are complete all by yourself, and your life can be wonderful and fulfilling whether you meet your mate or you don't. I was in one very long relationship that was wonderful and one very long relationship that was much less than wonderful. Right now I'm by myself, but I'm not ALONE, nor am I lonely. You just have to make sure you realize your worth, enjoy your life and friends and family, and if someone special comes along, that's just the icing on the cake.

loobyoxlip · 06-16-2005, 05:34 PM

Robin!!

I didn't even know that you had been married!! We all have those days, and I think it's good to have those days and get it out of your system rather than dwell on it for a long time.

You're such an awesome lady, your prince will come along some day (sooner rather than later, I hope)

gwugirl03 · 06-16-2005, 07:00 PM

Robin...as a single gal myself who is looking for Mr. Right, just hang on because he is out there. I think someone tells me that everyday.
And might I say, good for you getting out of the situation you were in!