Mother Rant (kinda long) About This Page:

[Teddysmom]

Geesh Kristine how irritating! I would definitely set up some boundaries with your Mom. I can see how you wouldn't want to hurt her or risk your relationship with her but she definitley shouldn't be talking to your DD behind your back about this. I think it is absolutely your choice wether or not to attend the wedding but I would revisit the issue when you are a little less upset. Just to make sure you don't want to at least attend the ceremony. Good luck with such a tough decision.

[dizPlanner]

While I had an afternoon wedding/reception that was all inclusive (and we had no problems), I can totally understand why the wedding couple want an adult only wedding. Not all parents are considerate. For example, my husband and daughter (age 13) went to see a movie recently and a couple with a 2 year old sat behind them. This movie was totally inappropriate for a 2 year old (Van Helsing). So naturally, he was bored. He was yelling, kicking the seats. Parents solution? They moved several seats apart so that he could run up and down the row and make more noise. He pulled my daughters hair (my husband didn't realize this until they were talking about it later). People several rows in front of them were turning around to see what the noise was. After the movie, my husband said to them, "Next time do everyone a favor and get a sitter." Their response? "If he bothered you, you could move." Some people are just very selfish.

Since you can't trust parents to remove their children if they become disruptive (sometimes parents don't realize how disruptive their children or themselves dealing with their children really are - others don't care), it is safer to just say no children.

If it was me, I would have hired a sitter for the 2 year old and the rest of us would go to the wedding. Depending on the logistics, either none of us would go to the reception or if it wasn't too much of a hassle, we would drop the daughter off at home with the sitter. But then, I had no problems hiring sitters when my children were young - they survived just fine and are responsible teens now.

Now I do agree your mother is totally out of line for going behind your back. Once you make your decision, she had no right to go and talk with your daughter and buy the dress. She could talk to you about it if she disagreed, but not your daugher.

Karen

[Jennifer2003]

Your brother can't tell kids not to come to the church. It's a CHURCh. Everyone is allowed at the church!

I had an adult reception, with 4 exceptions: my two cousins who were 10 and 6. They're my first cousins, my babies, and their mom, my aunt (my dad's little sister) was in my wedding. OF COURSE they would be there. The other two were my third cousin who's 11 that I'm close with her whole family and my mom's best friend's daughter (who is like a cousin to me) who was 12.

It's a shame your brother can't meet you halfway, or in this case, a lot of people halfway...kids at the church, but not the reception.

And his future step daughters can't even go??? That makes NO sense! Not the best way to impress those girls, if you ask me.

I hope this all gets resolved. You need to sit your mom down and resolve this quckly.

Good luck

[Colexis Mom]

Sending you lots of pixie Kristine

[DrDolphin]

I hope this works out ok.

[stretch2864]

Here's some pixie dust that things work out for you and your family. If your DB and his fiance didn't want children at the wedding and reception, why didn't they make that known months ago when they were planning the wedding initially? They also shouldn't have planned to have your DD and his fiance's children take part in the ceremony if they weren't planning on having children at all at the church or the reception. I would think your DD and the other girls would be hurt to be part of the wedding party but not allowed to attend the reception with the rest of the party later. Do you think it is a matter of not wanting to pay for all of the kids to be at the reception? If so, maybe they could make special arrangements for special "kid plates" to be served which might be cheaper. At my cousin's wedding they did this and everyone was happy--kids and adults. As far as your mother going behind your back, I wouldn't be happy about that either. That really isn't her place to interfere although maybe in her mind she was only trying to help the situation. Either way, this wedding is causing a major rift in your family and is not going to be the joyous occasion your brother and his fiance once imagined. Good luck and keep us posted!

[lilprincess]

This must be in the air...we're leaving on Wednesday for my DH's cousin's wedding in Jax, FL (my DD is the flowergirl) and then we're going on to Disney after that. We convinced my DBiL and his family to come, as DSiL and her family will also be there (DSiL is matron of honor and DNephew is ringbearer). To make a long story short...we just found out last Monday (yes...a week and a couple days before we are to leave) that no kids are allowed at the reception, including the flowergirl and ringbearer!!! We had known about getting a babysitter in our room, however, no one mentioned it was for the entire time! We had thought it was only after the kids were getting tired and then we could bring them to our room where the sitter would stay with them. My DH flipped!! Plus, we've never had anyone babysit our kids that were strangers. Needless to say, we are bringing my son to the ceremony (he's 3) to see his sister walk down the aisle and then I am bringing him back to the room for pizza and games. Then, after my daughter is introduced into the reception, I then have to walk her back to the room (all dressed up) to have pizza in the room. I feel bad for her because she was really disappointed that she couldn't stay. I also feel for the bride because it was her stepmom that created this whole fiasco. She complained that none of her family was part of the ceremony (the bride has no relation to her side) and complained that the flowergirl and ringbearer can't be at the reception. I guess because her stepmom and dad and her mom and stepdad are splitting the cost, she really didn't have much to say. Oh well...it should prove to be VERY interesting! We (meaning me and DH, DBiLs and DSiLs, and the grandparents) all have decided to take shifts to check on the kids and stay back at the rooms if needed.

Wish us luck!