That was the worst wake/funeral I've ever been to. - Page 2 - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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I don't know about funeral homes, but the ladies of our church always take the alter flowers and take them apart and spread them into several smaller bouquets and take them to shut ins and other folks in the hospitals. I would imagine that maybe something like that would happen with the funeral arrangements so they don't LOOK like funeral flowers, just a nice arrangement. That way they also go to more folks. Sorry about your funeral Darlene. Hard events at the best of times.
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I'm sorry a difficult situation was made even more difficult. When my grandmother passed away a year ago, her children and their spouses were in the line to receive people. After a little while everyone just mingled with everyone else. As for the flowers, most of the flowers were taken to the cemetery and the rest were taken by family members.
Wow - I have to second the hope that the venting is only being done here and not with Lenny. While I am sure the whole thing was odd to you I doubt being critical about the funeral is making his pain any easier. I also think a receiving line is weird for a funeral, but I don't know who's to say who deserves to be in the line. As for the flowers, you worried a lot about where they were and what to do with them. Generally when we have bought flowers for a funeral we did it more to do something because we felt so helpless, but honestly I don't know what happened to them (or even which ones were ours in some situations). I don't think I would be offended if they asked if we wanted them back, but I have to agree that giving them to a nursing home is wrong in its own way.
Anyway - hope you feel better and Lenny is doing ok. I am sure he is dealing with a lot of conflict especially if he has been staying away from his family.
Any funeral I've been to it has been the surviving spouse, siblings, and/or kids (if there are any) and that's it.
I'll echo that. I can see a spouse or fiancee of an immediate family member being there to provide their partner moral support, but even that should be infrequent.
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(which wasn't even an urn but a box)
Someone cheaped out on the service.
The box (or a bag) of remains, is what would be provided directly from the crematory. An urn or other more-appealing receptacle could have been rented from the funeral home, I am very sure. I mean, they can rent out coffins for wakes, even prior to cremation, after all. (Jeremy's father's wake was like that - there was a proper viewing, then he was cremated and the ashes interred with those of his wife).
Quote:
Also hidden behind the reception line was the box of his mothers ashes so quite a few people didn't even know it was there.
Major protocol gaffe. Essentially, the remains should have been at the head of the reception line, providing attendees one last chance for a silent moment of respect for the departed.
Quote:
Something Lenny and I found quite odd was there was no bench for people to kneel on for prayers in front of the ashes. His sister said they don't do that when people are cremated (I don't even know if that's true or not but in our opinions it was wrong to not be there).
... again, I suspect someone cheaped out. Either a kneeling bench would have cost more money, or someone thought it would, and chose not to have it there.
Funeral homes will do almost anything asked-for by the deceased's survivors, bounded only by the law, by what they physically have available, and by how much they might charge for filling a request.
I'm sorry that the final observance of Lenny's mother's life and passing were marred by such ... let us say, unnecessary unusual-ness.
Sorry for your loss. Dealing with family during a time of grief can be very difficult.
My mom was in a "box" that had a gold plate on it with her name. We didn't cheap out we just didn't want an urn as we weren't keeping my mothers ashes. We didn't have a bench to kneel and pray at her service in front of the box, I've only seen them in front of coffins. We did have a receiving line (as has every funeral I've ever been to) my dad died in 1984 so it was both of my brothers and their wives and kids and me and my dd. My oldest brother was at the beginning but I think the order after that changed a few times as we moved around a little. The only girlfriend in the line was my nephew's and that was only because she was pregnant at the time. I have never heard of flowers going to hospitals or nursing homes. I think people just take them home if there isn't a cemetary plot to take them too. To be totally honest I have no idea where the flowers for my mom's funeral went. I had flowers and a plant that were sent to my home and that was plenty as far as I was concerned.
I agree with a lot that is being said here. Please do not let your husband know how you are feeling. My goodness he just lost his Mother. We have always had a reception line at the Wake. Flowers have always been donated and such. Then a Mercy Meal after the funeral to celecrate the person's life.
People who lose a loved one as close as a Mom are not often thinking clear or about other's feelings. they are dealing with their own feelings. give them some slack. Pixies to you and your family!
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Sorry on the loss of your MIL. Having just lost my FIL less than 2 months ago I can relate. We do not have receiving lines here but there was one for my cousin a few months ago (not in our area) when he passed and it was just his spouse, grown children and sibling. With FIL, we were told 3 arrangements could be brought to the cemetery and the rest would be tossed. Hospitals, nursing homes, etc don't take them anymore. The placement of the floral arrangements and a kneeler is usually the job of the funeral home. There were a few things out of place, IMO, so I asked that they be rearranged prior to people arriving. The placement of the "urn" should also have been done by them.
I understand your disgust and know you were just looking for a place to vent.
[...] We didn't cheap out we just didn't want an urn [...]
I would like to apologise if I have (inadvertently, I promise) given offense. It's just, the things I've read about Lenny's family do not predispose me to think especially kindly of them, you know?
I would like to apologise if I have (inadvertently, I promise) given offense. It's just, the things I've read about Lenny's family do not predispose me to think especially kindly of them, you know?
I'm going to defend Sean here. He did say someone but it was in reference to my comment about Lenny's family, not anyone else. And I competely agree with Sean - Lenny's family is cheap - to the point that Lenny's sister admitted she had the "box" delivered to her son because he lives in NH so therefore she wouldn't have to pay any tax. And if that weren't bad enough she also said "everything has been paid for out of mum's money" so the tax wouldn't have even come from her pocket to begin with.
My mom's viewing was on 3/1/13. My dad stood near the coffin while people paid their respects. My sister, brother, & I mingled thoughout the room. The place was literally standing room only. While I appreciate everyone coming the last thing I was thinking about was standing in a reception line. It never occurred to me. I guess I'm a lousy grieving daughter.
Funeral expenses are through the roof. I literally came out & told my dad we were in the wrong business. We ended up paying a pretty penny (penny isn't even the word for it) & I understand if Lenny's family "cheaped" out on things although we were never told there was a charge for a kneeler.
Flowers we actually took them all home. My dad felt bad leaving them behind & we wanted to make dried arrangements out of them & he didn't know which flowers we wanted so he took all. Our home smelled wonderful for about a week! We couldn't bring them to the cemetery because my mom is in a mausoleum and we aren't allowed to have fresh flowers there.
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I'm sorry that the final observance of Lenny's mother's life and passing were marred by such ... let us say, unnecessary unusual-ness. 
Our last WDW trip as a family 
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