trying not to be upset [son not able to go on trip] - Page 2 - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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I'm sorry for your disappointment, but for your son to have a job at 18 in this economy is really fantastic and I understand his not wanting to do anything to jeopardize it! Since he is gainfully employed and you spoke with him before buying the tickets, I do think you should talk to him about reimbursing you for the air fare. I know it won't give you the memories you wanted, but I'm sure it'll help with some of the bad feelings.
It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into your trip, but this is a good reminder to always leave a little room for flexibility and unforeseen circumstances. If you get too caught up in forcing everything to fit your vision, you're going to spend a lot of your trip unhappy and WDW is way too special to allow that to happen!
hmmm... really sorry to hear your son's work is not being flexible about giving him the time off to go on vacation.... but something that hasn't been suggested yet is what about if your son tells his work to just stuff it? Unless he is working at what he hopes to have his future career be in.... few if anyone is doing what they want to do for a living at 18. I know it is not the easiest job market out there right now, but really, unless he can't afford to be without income for a few weeks while he looks to replace one job with another, I'd say make this family trip really special, and have everyone go together!
Who knows, maybe if he gives notice to his boss that he's going on this special trip with family even if he doesn't get the time off....perhaps things will let slide, and he'll get to keep his job. Tough call without knowing what his job is (nor is it really any of our business) but quite often too bosses of 18 year old kids quite often try to throw their weight around a heck of a lot more than they should, because they usually feel they can. I briefly worked at a Best Buy between real "grown up" jobs, and was amazed at how much the store's management abused the inexperience and lack of knowledge of the kids there....and I'd make sure I'd stick up for the kids.
Just my two cents....I know I'd hate to do Disney without my kids if we were planning on a family trip, good luck to you guys!
I understand completely. My son is 18 and he chose not to go on our family vacation this summer. He said he didnt want to use his vacation time from work so he could cash it in when leaves for college. (I am sure he didnt want to be away from his girlfriend either) I also had already purchased his plane tickets, although they werent that expensive. I also had a few weeks to adjust to the idea of going on vacation without him. So my husband,15 year old son and I went on vacation without him. We did meet up with my parents who are getting frail, sister and brother for a couple days and my son missed that time as well. It is hard to have our children grow up but it is happening. We had a good vacation, I did think of my son and what he would think of things we were seeing and I took a picture of him with me (unknown to everyone). But we still had a good time. It is just that season in life. My opinion, especially since it is to work, I would not ask your son to reimburse you for the airfare. I just let it go, not worth any hard feelings. Try to go and enjoy your time with the rest of your family.
Tim's advice is very good! I would have gladly allowed my son to quit his job, knowing it wasnt permanent anyway, to go. And in the process tell his employer how long you have been planning this family vacation.
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MMSPORTSMOM
Last edited by mmsportsmom; 07-26-2011 at 09:07 PM..
I think the issue is really whether or not the son want to go on this vacation. It means a lot to mom, but we don't know his side of the story. I'm guessing its either a job he really wants or a way for him to get out of the vacation. Either way if he doesn't want to be there...there's not much the rest of the family can do but go and have a good time.
Awww..... I 100% understand your disappointment..... If your 18 yr old ds is like a lot of 18 yr olds- he probably is not only fine with staying behind, but doesn't want to go too badly- or else he'd find a way.... I know it's hard; but try to let go of the "vision" you had for the trip and start dreaming up a new "vision"- I know you guys will have magical time!
It is hard when family dynamics change.....
Well I guess the good thing is that he has a job Did he pay for his own ticket? If not maybe see if he can at least pay you back for half. I know the bigger point is that he isn't going to Disney, but he must really want this job if he is willing to forgo a vacation.
there's alot more to the story... no- I paid for the ticket. Like you said, the point is that he's NOT going!
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Can't wait to go to FL-Shades of Green-Aug 2011
Magic Kingdom-2006
Park Hopped-2All Star Movies-2004
Awww..... I 100% understand your disappointment..... If your 18 yr old ds is like a lot of 18 yr olds- he probably is not only fine with staying behind, but doesn't want to go too badly- or else he'd find a way.... I know it's hard; but try to let go of the "vision" you had for the trip and start dreaming up a new "vision"- I know you guys will have magical time!
It is hard when family dynamics change.....
yeah... I figure I'm going to put my mom in his place, it's just that she can't go on the rides that he would or do the walking that he would. I am trying to get a different "vision" though. Thanks for that.
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Can't wait to go to FL-Shades of Green-Aug 2011
Magic Kingdom-2006
Park Hopped-2All Star Movies-2004
hmmm... really sorry to hear your son's work is not being flexible about giving him the time off to go on vacation.... but something that hasn't been suggested yet is what about if your son tells his work to just stuff it? Unless he is working at what he hopes to have his future career be in.... few if anyone is doing what they want to do for a living at 18. I know it is not the easiest job market out there right now, but really, unless he can't afford to be without income for a few weeks while he looks to replace one job with another, I'd say make this family trip really special, and have everyone go together!
Who knows, maybe if he gives notice to his boss that he's going on this special trip with family even if he doesn't get the time off....perhaps things will let slide, and he'll get to keep his job. Tough call without knowing what his job is (nor is it really any of our business) but quite often too bosses of 18 year old kids quite often try to throw their weight around a heck of a lot more than they should, because they usually feel they can. I briefly worked at a Best Buy between real "grown up" jobs, and was amazed at how much the store's management abused the inexperience and lack of knowledge of the kids there....and I'd make sure I'd stick up for the kids.
Just my two cents....I know I'd hate to do Disney without my kids if we were planning on a family trip, good luck to you guys!
Tim
It's his first job, and he recently moved out of the house (his choice) and is paying rent at a friend's house. He could quit, but would risk getting another job and would have to move back home, which we said he could do, but he has trouble abiding by our rules. His boss already gave him the whole month off for the vacation and then when he moved out he SAID that he "thought" we wouldn't "let him go" because he moved out. .. ??? it's all fishy to me. I said okay fine.. go for the one week disney trip then- he said his boss wouldn't even give him the week off. I honestly don't understand why he wouldn't want to go other than his girl "friend" is coming from out of state.. who knows? I'm trying not to get upset about it.
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Can't wait to go to FL-Shades of Green-Aug 2011
Magic Kingdom-2006
Park Hopped-2All Star Movies-2004
I'm so sorry for that sad news. Since your son is 18 it is hard to tell him what to do with his job & jobs arn't easy to come by these days. I am crying for you becuse I can totally relate. I am already counting down the number of family Disney trips that I will be able to make with my boys & they are only 4 & 6. I obsess for years over our big, dream, expensive, Disney vacations. Because of the cost there will not be too many for us.
For our WDW & cruise trip last year my husband's parents decided to tag along at the last minute. ZAP!!! went my day dreams of the 4 of us riding all of the rides together for my boys first trip to Disney. I literally cried over it for days. How silly huh? It all turned out better than I expected, so I will send happy thoughts your way that your trip will turn out on the bright side too.
I hope that it helps you to feel that you are not alone with your sorrow. I will be dissappointed with you from here in Colorado. If I were in your shoes, my DH would have to restrain me from doing something embarrassing like talking personally to my son's boss & then telling him to shove the job. Don't do that though. You're poor 18 year old son would be mortified.
Maybe as mentioned earlier you could take someone else in his place. A friend or family member or maybe that would just interfere with your family time?
I try to remember that things could always be worse.
Thanks.. that's so sweet of you to think and empathize with me . Since my son and I haven't been getting along very well.. everyone keeps saying it's better that he doesn't go.. I still think it's going to take time for me to see it differently. I figure my mom can fill in where my son would have been.. I don't know.. ? btw.. I already called his boss (it was okay with him) he gave him the month off, then my son went and told him he could work (after he moved out)..??
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Can't wait to go to FL-Shades of Green-Aug 2011
Magic Kingdom-2006
Park Hopped-2All Star Movies-2004
Did your DS request time off in advance? Was it granted and then cancelled? If it was cancelled I'd get him to ask his boss again because the cost is so great. Maybe if your DS has a great relationship with his boss he can make up the work when he returns (or some other favour).
As a boss myself. I've heard a million 'sob stories' and visiting relatives whilst on vacation always wins me over! I would never cancel an employees vacation leave unless someone had an accident/died.
Good luck!
he did say yes after I called him, but then my son said he can work and now his boss is saying not even a week off (according to my son) I'm not sure exactly what to beleive.
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Can't wait to go to FL-Shades of Green-Aug 2011
Magic Kingdom-2006
Park Hopped-2All Star Movies-2004
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I'm so sorry for that sad news. Since your son is 18 it is hard to tell him what to do with his job & jobs arn't easy to come by these days. I am crying for you becuse I can totally relate. I am already counting down the number of family Disney trips that I will be able to make with my boys & they are only 4 & 6. I obsess for years over our big, dream, expensive, Disney vacations. Because of the cost there will not be too many for us.
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