Ava's Bday Party About This Page:

[samg0627]

Originally Posted by OneLittleSpark

I competely understand where your coming from. I just can't get past putting it on invites. I know that this is somewhat acceptable now a days, but I was raised old fashioned and that was always a big no-no. It made it seem as though all the inviters care about is gifts. I am in NO way saying I believe this of you, but to someone who doesn't know you, they could take it that way. Some people may like that you gave them a gift idea but others will feel like they are being told what to spend. Which makes a pressure for the parents and the kids who don't bring the suggested gift.

I have looked at the Disney GC's at the store and only $25 and $50 cards were available. It's not like you can pick the amount of the card. This is a considerable cost to some. I will say that I always put thought into gifts when my DD has attended bday parties of friends, but I don't always spend $25 or $50. I spent $15 on the last gift I bought, a ladybug pavilion (you grow ladybugs, really cool, DD and I have done them). We keep DD parties to a minimum because we feel that birthdays are blown way out of proportion these days. (Please don't take offense, I am in no way saying that you are doing this) But parents who feel like I, will definately take offense to it and bc you say you don't know them, I wouldn't do it.

May I ask why some party attendees don't know you or Ava? If you are truly looking to get some more spending money for Ava on your trip, have you considered scaling down the party to family only and then putting what you planned to spend into Disney GC's for her. I am not sure of Ava's age, but I know you said they are her school friends. If Ava is school aged (elementary school aged or above) she should be old enough to understand the quandry and choose small party-more WDW $$ or large party-less $$. If she is a pre-schooler or younger, would she really "know" that you didn't have this grand party with all her friends?

If a party with friends and the "works" (whatever they may be) is required or greatly wanted then I would let the chips fall where they may.

I also want to add, that depending on Ava's age, this might have other consequences...not putting that on the invitations teaches her to be appreciative of what she receives and that it's the thought that counts, as well as having your friends share your celebration (which is what is truly important, yes?). I think if make up or whatever is something you do not allow, then I would state that on the invitation. Something like..."please, if (I purposely said if) purchasing a gift for Ava, please keep in mind we do not allow her to wear make up yet." Or whatever fits there.

My suggestion would be to again, spread the word as much as you can. Tell one parent you know, who might know the others.

I completely understand where you are coming from. Guess I didnt think about that(the $25 limit on the cards) At Happy Harrys and Acme it's 5. I really only know one of the girls moms but the other girls she wants to invite I have never had play dates outside of school so I don't know if they have seen Ava (i'm sure they have heard about her as I hear about their girls) This will be the first "people outside of family" bday party. She will be 7 now so she wants to have "girlfriends" there not just cousins.

I think I will do the one idea "If you have any questions call me" And hopefully they will. Hopefully I get RSVP's my family never does and they bring all kinds of people with them.

[OneLittleSpark]

Originally Posted by samg0627

I completely understand where you are coming from. Guess I didnt think about that(the $25 limit on the cards) At Happy Harrys and Acme it's 5. I really only know one of the girls moms but the other girls she wants to invite I have never had play dates outside of school so I don't know if they have seen Ava (i'm sure they have heard about her as I hear about their girls) This will be the first "people outside of family" bday party. She will be 7 now so she wants to have "girlfriends" there not just cousins.

I think I will do the one idea "If you have any questions call me" And hopefully they will. Hopefully I get RSVP's my family never does and they bring all kinds of people with them.

Thanks for understanding where I was coming from in my post. Sometimes I get misunderstood when I write things. I think the calling thing will work nicely. My DD who is 6, is getting to that stage as well when she will want to invite friends to a party. So I understand that....
Hope it all works out and that Ava has a wonderful party!

[samg0627]

Originally Posted by OneLittleSpark

Thanks for understanding where I was coming from in my post. Sometimes I get misunderstood when I write things. I think the calling thing will work nicely. My DD who is 6, is getting to that stage as well when she will want to invite friends to a party. So I understand that....
Hope it all works out and that Ava has a wonderful party!

Thanks! She is so excited she feels like a "big girl" now having girlfriends come. Hopefully this will open a door for the moms to get together more often. I just returned from a bday party for one of Christian's Pre-School (his first) and we all hit it off and exchanged numbers. His mom did what you said when I called to RSVP she told me he likes anything Toy Story or Spider Man

[Huntermom]

My kids are grown but when they were young, I and most of the other moms would ask for gift suggestions when we RSVP'd. I would share the suggestions with my child, but would let them pick out the gift.

My kids got plenty of gifts that were not the best choices, but from pre-school age on, they can learn to be gracious and say thank you, what a nice gift, I really appreciate it, etc.

As an older person, I find the suggestion for a gift on an invitation really tacky, unless the suggestion is for a donation to charity (please bring a book for children at the homesless shelter in lieu of a gift for Ava).

[OneLittleSpark]

Originally Posted by samg0627

Thanks! She is so excited she feels like a "big girl" now having girlfriends come. Hopefully this will open a door for the moms to get together more often. I just returned from a bday party for one of Christian's Pre-School (his first) and we all hit it off and exchanged numbers. His mom did what you said when I called to RSVP she told me he likes anything Toy Story or Spider Man

I understand competely. My DD was in kindergarten last year and she has a bff. I was like wow, she has a bff! That is so cool. They so are too, they were in horseback riding together this summer and they are so cute together! It is so much nicer when you are at least friendly with your kids moms. I have become friendly with a couple of my DD friends moms. Not that we are friends, but friendly. Well of course her bff parents, I talk to all the time.
They grow up so quick huh? The having friends and what not really hits. I think the worst for me was this week when I found out DD has a loose tooth! I wanted to cry when the dentist told me. Some parents get weepy when their child goes off to school. Not me I was like "See you later. Have fun at school!" I totally looked at it as part of growing up and that is what you want your kids to do. I didn't feel like I was losing my "baby". But when the dentist said her tooth was loose this week, I was all "OMG! My baby! She is loosing her baby teeth and getting adult teeth, NOOOOO!!!!! " LOL

[Teresa]

Originally Posted by mcneal

After all, it is now acceptable to have showers to help pay for honeymoons!

uh - no it's not. Just because people do it, does not mean it's acceptable. It's rude and outlandish to expect others to pay for the couple's vacation.

No, I wouldn't put it in the invites. It's rude to demand a certain gift, and that's what you do when you put "Ava doesn't need presents, but please give her money for our trip".
however, if someone calls and asks, you can say then that you'd like to get her a nice item at WDW, and a Disney gift card would be lovely.

[OneLittleSpark]

I have never even heard of honeymoon showers. Weird....
Another weird party I have never heard before is a Diaper party. Apparently, this is a party a woman (or girl) throws where ever person who attends has to bring a package of diapers. This is not instead of a baby shower, this is in addition to. Done after the baby is born. I think people make this stuff up, just bc they are greedy.

[B.M.]

Originally Posted by OneLittleSpark

I have never even heard of honeymoon showers. Weird....
Another weird party I have never heard before is a Diaper party. Apparently, this is a party a woman (or girl) throws where ever person who attends has to bring a package of diapers. This is not instead of a baby shower, this is in addition to. Done after the baby is born. I think people make this stuff up, just bc they are greedy.

I was invited to one of those a few years ago (my second cousin); it was the only one I had ever heard of. It was a wierd kind of shower- the shower was over two hours (like 2-4). You came by any time during that time frame and dropped off the diapers and a few refreshments were set out. There were no games and everyone came by at different times just staying for 15-30minutes, dropping of the diapers and leaving. One other thing that was wierd, but kind of appreciated was that she specifically put on the invitations that she is glad to use generic diapers- those are so much cheaper, so that allowed my money to go farther. But still- the whole thing was kind of wierd JMO.

[Teresa]

Originally Posted by OneLittleSpark

I have never even heard of honeymoon showers. Weird....
Another weird party I have never heard before is a Diaper party. Apparently, this is a party a woman (or girl) throws where ever person who attends has to bring a package of diapers. This is not instead of a baby shower, this is in addition to. Done after the baby is born. I think people make this stuff up, just bc they are greedy.

You're right. It is just because people are greedy. Sorry, in my opinion, if you have a kid, you've made the decision to raise it and support it. This means paying for diapers yourself. Now, that's not to say I haven't bought diapers, but that is for a BABY shower gift. I usually buy a bathtub, towels, washcloths, baby soap, diapers, and a sleeper and blanket. I like a theme gift.
I wouldn't ever go to a "Diaper Party". People are just way too full of themselves anymore.

[PhilsEagles08]

Originally Posted by njsmama

As a mom, I really appreciate it when the birthday child's parents give suggestions on what to get them. I know I hate returning presents when my kids get duplicate toys.
If it were me, I would put on the invitation "Ava loves to get Disney Dollars!".

I'll be honest. My daughter had 1 invite last year for a little boy in her class and his mom put his top 3 toy suggestions... legos, tonka trucks, and anything dinosaurs and I wanted to kiss this parent! I have a little girl and know NOTHING about what boys want to play with. I wish all parents did this, especially for the kids we don't hang out with on an every day basis.

Oh, just wanted to add... when my family was planning my baby shower I told them the only thing I wanted was diapers. No other gifts except diapers, of course I got other things and they were very much appreciated but diapers were the only thing I truly wanted. Needless to say, after the party I had enough diapers for the 1st year and a half. Love my family/friends!

[OneLittleSpark]

Originally Posted by B.M.

I was invited to one of those a few years ago (my second cousin); it was the only one I had ever heard of. It was a wierd kind of shower- the shower was over two hours (like 2-4). You came by any time during that time frame and dropped off the diapers and a few refreshments were set out. There were no games and everyone came by at different times just staying for 15-30minutes, dropping of the diapers and leaving. One other thing that was wierd, but kind of appreciated was that she specifically put on the invitations that she is glad to use generic diapers- those are so much cheaper, so that allowed my money to go farther. But still- the whole thing was kind of wierd JMO.

It is way too weird, BM....

Originally Posted by Teresa

You're right. It is just because people are greedy. Sorry, in my opinion, if you have a kid, you've made the decision to raise it and support it. This means paying for diapers yourself. Now, that's not to say I haven't bought diapers, but that is for a BABY shower gift. I usually buy a bathtub, towels, washcloths, baby soap, diapers, and a sleeper and blanket. I like a theme gift.
I wouldn't ever go to a "Diaper Party". People are just way too full of themselves anymore.

I competely agree! It's one thing to get or ask family for diapers for your baby shower, but a diaper party after the baby is born, that is crazy. I think people take the "it takes a village" thing way too far. LOL

Originally Posted by PhilsEagles08

I'll be honest. My daughter had 1 invite last year for a little boy in her class and his mom put his top 3 toy suggestions... legos, tonka trucks, and anything dinosaurs and I wanted to kiss this parent! I have a little girl and know NOTHING about what boys want to play with. I wish all parents did this, especially for the kids we don't hang out with on an every day basis.

Oh, just wanted to add... when my family was planning my baby shower I told them the only thing I wanted was diapers. No other gifts except diapers, of course I got other things and they were very much appreciated but diapers were the only thing I truly wanted. Needless to say, after the party I had enough diapers for the 1st year and a half. Love my family/friends!

About your additional paragraph...there is nothing wrong IMO to receive diapers at the baby shower, nor is there anything wrong with telling (telling not writing in the invite to everyone) that you would appreciate diapers. I just feel that when you are requesting something it should be made to close friends and family and then let the word spread.

Another example....I do know people who were hoping for wedding money for their honeymoon. Not that they had a honeymoon shower. But their families were quite aware of this and spread the word around to those they knew who were going to the wedding. Word of mouth is pretty good...they ended up with $1600.

[Pinkyt177]

This is one of my fave topics, I hate toys that you get for B-days, my child is spoiled so instead of toys, we ask others to donate to a specific charity that she has chosen. The trade is that she gets to invite her whole class to the party but. . .No gifts.

So, what do I give for bday party gifts. I also donate, my standard gift is a symbolic adoption to the World Wildlife Foundation. The birthday child gets a cardstock photo of the animal and emails etc. To me it is what I'd rather receive. I know you may be saying oh my she is one of those mom's. I spoil my child rotten and her grandma is even worse so she doesn't needs toys at all this is my trade off!

In Kindergarten, they donated books for the kids in New Orleans, for 1st grade she did Heifer International. She hasn't decided this year so we'll see. She is thinking about kids cereal for the kids who live at the mission. (They don't get fun cereal very often)

Now this I do include on invitations since it is a donation request rather than a gift request.