As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
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There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
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Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
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To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
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So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
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If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.
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I would take the kids with me or not go at all. By not going you may avoid her asking you for more help for an even longer period of time. Best wishes for this difficult decision.
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You might just need to step back and think about this without the emotion of "She's my mom, but she did ............. when I was little".
Well, it isn't so much what she did when I was little as what she has said and done since I have been grown. 3 weeks ago she would not talk to me, told me I was no longer her daughter, she would just pretend I was dead. Why did she say all these things? Because I was taking my girls to see their other grandmother. Last week she made up a reason she had to come see us - the real reason for the visit is she needed someone to go with her to have her surgery. So then, all was forgiven - that bad thing I did by taking my children to see their other grandmother. She has done this my whole entire life. I could tell you things she has said to me that would stop you cold. Ugly, mean, spiteful things that should never be said to anyone let alone your child.
She has mentally abused me all of my life.
I ask my dh all the time to move away so that I can have a great distance between my mom and I.
I love her very much, she is my mom. I just never know if I will get the loving mom or the hateful mom. I am stressed and on pins and needles every time I talk to her or see her. When she was coming on Easter, I thought I would have a panic attack.
So in a nutshell, I feel bad not to go but I will feel bad to go. I do not think it is fair of her to ask me to go. Why should she expect my dad or my dh to take off work so she can look better?
Thanks for all the advice. I still have no idea what to do.
__________________
WDW Oct . 2012
Since Minnie's chair is gone, I had to find a new place to have our photo taken this past Oct. Not sure this will be the permanent place.
I say number 1 is your best option. You really can't be expected to drop everything including your three small children to go with her for elective surgery. You will probably only be the scum of the earth until she needs something else.
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What I'd do is find out from the hospital whether they have volunteers that could help with anything she needs, like a ride home afterward and/or company during the time she's there. Surely there is way to get some help for her without it having to be you (a local church or volunteer organization are other options).
Other than a ride home, I don't see why it's necessary for her to even need someone with her.
Could you split the difference with your dad or brother and do just one day and they do the other. Then your DH might could take off just one day. You'll be the bigger person (than your mom), maintain familial harmony (such that it is), and just be doing the right thing. Good luck with your arrangements.
Well, it isn't so much what she did when I was little as what she has said and done since I have been grown. Ugly, mean, spiteful things that should never be said to anyone let alone your child.
She has mentally abused me all of my life.
I ask my dh all the time to move away so that I can have a great distance between my mom and I.
So in a nutshell, I feel bad not to go but I will feel bad to go. I do not think it is fair of her to ask me to go. Why should she expect my dad or my dh to take off work so she can look better?
Thanks for all the advice. I still have no idea what to do.
My heart goes out to you.
You need to take care of yourself and your family first.
Do not go.
She is manipulative. Out of your life one day...back in your life when she needs a favor? Going may put you in her good graces...for a time...and not going may mean you are "dead" to her again...until the next favor is needed. If you go, you are perpetuating the cycle.
I say number 1 is your best option. You really can't be expected to drop everything including your three small children to go with her for elective surgery. You will probably only be the scum of the earth until she needs something else.
I think you hit it on the head! No matter what you do you will be the bad guy to someone. Your kids & DH are your #1 priority. That simple.. I know Mom's can be very mean & say hurtful things. We always feel like kids when it comes to them..
Having been going through some stuff with my Mom the past year I totally get it. We always love our Moms, but they can hurt us like no one else. They know all the buttons to push because they installed them
Well, it isn't so much what she did when I was little as what she has said and done since I have been grown. 3 weeks ago she would not talk to me, told me I was no longer her daughter, she would just pretend I was dead. Why did she say all these things? Because I was taking my girls to see their other grandmother. Last week she made up a reason she had to come see us - the real reason for the visit is she needed someone to go with her to have her surgery. So then, all was forgiven - that bad thing I did by taking my children to see their other grandmother. She has done this my whole entire life. I could tell you things she has said to me that would stop you cold. Ugly, mean, spiteful things that should never be said to anyone let alone your child.
She has mentally abused me all of my life.
I ask my dh all the time to move away so that I can have a great distance between my mom and I.
I love her very much, she is my mom. I just never know if I will get the loving mom or the hateful mom. I am stressed and on pins and needles every time I talk to her or see her. When she was coming on Easter, I thought I would have a panic attack.
So in a nutshell, I feel bad not to go but I will feel bad to go. I do not think it is fair of her to ask me to go. Why should she expect my dad or my dh to take off work so she can look better?
Thanks for all the advice. I still have no idea what to do.
Your story is ringing soooo true to me.
I have one of those as well.....the controlling, hit you out of left field, make you feel guilty, angry and crazy all at the same time kind of mothers. One minute you are the "chosen one" and the next, you're having the "mac daddy of all guilt trips" laid on ya before you can even see it coming. If it were my mother putting me in this position, I'd almost bet it was a control thing. Trying to get me to drop everything that was important in MY life to cater to her.
What would I do?? I'd take the kids and go.
Id like to say #1 from your list but that is something my brother would do.
Can you ask your brother to take one day off and you go the next day?. It's not ideal to ask someone to lose a days pay but she is his mother too, and you've got children to be there for. Some places give you personal time when an immediate family member had surgery, they don't have to know exactly what it is.
Best of luck making your decision. At the end of the day only you know what is good for you.
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