As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
Thank you to each of you who were a part of this community. You made it possible.
And a very special thank you to our Guides (moderators), past and present, who kept our forums a happy place to be. You are the glue that held everything together, and we are forever grateful to you. Thank you aliceinwdw, Caldercup, MrsM, WillCAD, Fortissimo, GingerJ, HiddenMickey, CRCrazy, Eeyoresmom, disneyknut, disneydani, Cam22, chezp, WDWfan, Luvsun, KMB733, rescuesk, OhToodles!, Colexis Mom, lfredsbo, HiddenMickey, DrDolphin, DopeyGirl, duck addict, Disneybine, PixieMichele, Sandra Bostwick, Eeyore Tattoo, DyanKJ130, Suzy Q'Disney, LilMarcieMouse, AllisonG, Belle*, Chrissi, Brant, DawnDenise, Crystalloubear, Disneymom9092, FanOfMickey, Goofy4Goofy, GoofyMom, Home4us123, iamgrumpy, ilovedisney247, Jennifer2003, Jenny Pooh, KrisLuvsDisney, Ladyt, Laughaholic88, LauraBelle Hime, Lilianna, LizardCop, Loobyoxlip, lukeandbrooksmom, marisag, michnash, MickeyMAC, OffKilter_Lynn, PamelaK, Poor_Eeyore, ripkensnana, RobDVC, SHEANA1226, Shell of the South, snoozin, Statelady01, Tara O'Hara, tigger22, Tink and Co., Tinkerbelz, WDWJAMBA, wdwlovers, Wendyismyname, whoSEZ, WildforWD, and WvuGrrrl. You made the magic.
We want to personally thank Sara Varney, who coordinated our community for many years (among so many other things she did for us), and Cheryl Pendry, our Message Board Manager who helped train our Guides, and Ginger Jabour, who helped us with the PassPorter-specific forums and Live! Guides. Thank you for your time, energy, and enthusiasm. You made it all happen.
There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.
So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
And we are no longer charging for the Live Guides. If you have a subscription, it's yours to keep for the lifetime of the Live Guides at no additional cost. The Live Guides will stay online, barring server issues and technical problems, for all of 2019.
That said, PassPorter is not going away. Most of the resources will remain online for as long as we can support them, and after that we will find ways to make whatever we can available. PassPorter means a great deal to us, and to many of you, and we will do our best to keep it alive in whatever way we can. Our server costs are high, and they'll need to come out of our pockets, so in the future you can expect some changes so we can bring those costs down.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing support over the years. Without you, there's no way us little guys could have made something like this happen and given the "big guys" a run for their money. PassPorter was consistently the #3 guidebook after the Unofficial and Official guides, which was really unheard of for such a small company to do. We ROCKED it thanks to you and your support and love!
If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.
So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!
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"Just because they're related to you, doesn't mean you have to allow you kids to stay with them."
My DH gave me that wise bit of advice when I was struggling with my "mother's" request to have our DD (then 2) for a couple days. She was a bit unstable (long story) and wanted to give us a break so we could go relax and enjoy ourselves while we were visiting the same town she lived in. And I did struggle greatly... until he asked, "would you let DD stay with her if she was a stranger." I said 'absolutely not!' And he said "there's your answer." If you wouldn't trust them to watch your child as a 'stranger' caregiver, you don't have to allow them to watch your child just because they're related to you.
"Just because they're related to you, doesn't mean you have to allow you kids to stay with them."
My DH gave me that wise bit of advice when I was struggling with my "mother's" request to have our DD (then 2) for a couple days. She was a bit unstable (long story) and wanted to give us a break so we could go relax and enjoy ourselves while we were visiting the same town she lived in. And I did struggle greatly... until he asked, "would you let DD stay with her if she was a stranger." I said 'absolutely not!' And he said "there's your answer." If you wouldn't trust them to watch your child as a 'stranger' caregiver, you don't have to allow them to watch your child just because they're related to you.
Ha! Sage advice and a good point. And it reminds me that as I was picking up DS after my parents car breakdown 15 miles away from my house when they didn't tell us where they were going (admittedly, our bad, lesson learned) and knowing that we needed them to watch him next Monday and Tuesday as well, my stupid stepmother actually offered to "give mommy and daddy a break" and take him overnight on Monday and bring him back Tuesday. That, I can say we promptly said NO to. I was like "uuuuhhhhhhhhhhh" and Wally flat out said that DS was not ready and nether was Mama. Just the thought sends chills down my spine! Maybe in a few years, but certainly not now. Not to mention, I hardly need a break from my bundle of JOY JOY JOY!!!
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for you. This happened to me when DD was three months old. A good friend of mine and her DH were watching DD while I was at work. When I went to pick her up, my friend told me that DD had been fed a bit of a vanilla milkshake from McDonald's! At the time I was very upset since DD was a breastmilk only baby. However in hindsight, nothing bad happened as a result. They had never had kids, so they didn't know. I was grateful that they were there to watch DD, and aside from the milkshake episode, they took very good care of her. I never would leave her with my now ex-MIL who was an alcholic who couldn't even take care of herself let alone a baby. My feeling is that you have to look at the big picture. Little things like that will happen and the kids will be just fine. I found that if I tried to dictate every little thing about my DD's care to others, it was overwhelming to them and they probably wouldn't be able to remember it all. I then pared down my requests to things that were truly important as far her care went. I learned that if I trusted her caregivers enough to leave her with them, then I should trust them to use their best judgement when they were caring for her. The times that things happened were when DD was with people that I deemed irresponsible, such as my now ex-husband.
"Just because they're related to you, doesn't mean you have to allow you kids to stay with them."
Dh and I live in PA w/ our two kids (dd-6 and ds-21mo)... MIL lives about 20min south of WDW w/ stepFIL.
We've visited w/ them three times since dh and I started dating, twice w/ dd when she was a toddler/preschooler.
Never again.
I won't go into the long stories, suffice it to stay we are paying to stay at POR for 8 nights in December rather than stay with them!
I am being a good DIL and uber planned our trip so we could dine w/ them four times over our stay at resort ts restaurants...that way they don't have to pay to get into any of the parks. Dh and I briefly considered hiring Kid's Night Out one evening to go to the Adventurer's Club (we decided against it)...how sad is it that I was willing to have a stranger stay w/ my kids, rather than trust MIL with them!
Once ds is older and can speak up for himself, I wouldn't have that much of a problem w/ her spending a few hours w/ them by herself...but not when he's pushing 2yo!
Don't get me wrong, MIL is a sweet woman but she's quite the dim bulb (dh wouldn't be as nice in the description) at times and I just don't trust her w/ a rambunctious toddler.
for you.... Now you know that you need to come up w/ some ground rules...and make one of them be that the rules are flexible on YOUR part so they can be amended at any time!
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Christine
Last edited by Minniemouse27; 09-06-2007 at 04:02 PM..
Whew, Rachel....that one made my jaw drop! Yikes....ice cream at 3 months! Sounds like something my MIL would do! She brought chocolate candy over for DS for his first Halloween and he was only 7 months old and had just started solids the month before! She totally didn't get why we couldn't give it to him! Of course, this is the same woman who gave my DH a bottle of Coca Cola at the age of one and he's been addicted ever since! We only have one babysitter on occasion and that's my father as he is so overly cautious with DS that we feel completely comfortable. Good luck as you establish your boundaries!
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Sarah
First trip to our Happy Place as a family of four!
I sympathize with you. I think my problem with my mom is the same, but it did me no good to say anything to her because she is always right! I did let a few things go because I knew that nothing she did was out of vindictiveness. Just another generation and way of thinking.
Now that my kids are older, the tables have turned a little. Now she is on me about how I do things.
Wait till they get older and every decision you do is wrong. My mother thinks that I am the worst mom in the world. I told her the other day that I knew I would never win a "Mother of the Year Award" But as long as my kids are clean, well groomed, fed and most of all loved, she needed to back up and let me make the decisions. I am 37 and my kids are 14-10 & 8. Haven't lived @ home since I was 18. But she will call me 3-4 times a night to find out what I fed them, what they are doing, who they are hanging out with. Oh well, I digress. Just wanted to say hang in there!!!!
Ice Cream at 3 months - yup that's something my Dad would have done! My Dad is constantly rolling his eyes at me when I safety proof or leave a list of rules and information for them. But it's been 30 years since they had an infant around! his favorite line? "We all managed to survive childhood without all this crap." My response? "Yeah but the ones who didn't survive aren't here to complain about it!" Luckily my Mom is pretty vigilant about following rules and they don't have him that often. Shawn's parents on the other hand are angels and do their best to do things the same way we do them at home. (With, of course, some "Grammie's House' relaxing of the non-safety issue rules! )
Hang in there Rachel! Do not EVER be afraid to stand up for your child to anyone - you are who he is counting on to look out for him!
I just get flabberghasted over how people will so willingly give you their 2 cents about parenting YOUR child-----without even thinking to look at other perceptions or my own feelings.
Well, lucky for you, this never really ends!!! This was the ONE thing that always made my blood boil up until about a year and a half ago. I hated the unsolicited/unwanted/unneeded advice some people thought was their right to bestow upon me, the first time mother! Luckily for my family relationships, they all knew to keep their traps clapped! Unfortunately, strangers are not as adept at discerning my moods....my favorites were offering them diet, exercise, fashion, and beauty advice right after I thanked them ever so sweetly for their input! That tends to make a bit of a point! I can look back on those moments now and blame lack of sleep for my "rude" behavior!
On a happy note - you get to be the one who gives him pickles and a wedge of lemon.
Oooooooh! I thought I was the only mom mean enough to do that! Samantha was 4 months and sucking lemons and pickles. She loved them!!
Rachel - your Step-mama was wrong. Very, very wrong. Doesn't she know what that can do to a baby's digestive tract??
Co-sleeping - oh, just so much easier for breast feeding. I slept through most of the girls' night-time sucklings, and was a much better mommy for it!
Okay, the whole "here, baby walk to me" That I can understand. EVERYONE does that, not just grandparents. It's such a cool thing. It's a wonder and a marvel that this child who was just on the floor a day ago is now trying to walk!! We've had lots of babies in our family (we have 5 kids, plus the 17 nieces, 1 nephew, 13 step-nieces and nephews, 5 grandkids, 2 grand nephews, so many children of cousins, etc) and I can tell you that as soon as a baby starts to pull up, anyone around it will try to help it walk - even the younger kids.
For most people - it's not that they want to see it BEFORE you, but they just want to see IT.
Rachel - I hope you can get your step-mama to abide by your boundries better. A little "not following mommy's rules" is expected, but to give a 3.5 month old ICE-Cream - what a twit!
My MIL ( a nurse mind you) was always sneaking DIET SODA to my girls...even as young as 6 months old! DH let her have it more than once about this. Finally, she got the point. But fast forward to the day I picked up my 6 and 4 year old daughters from MIL and found she had taken them to the salon and had there LONG hair cut into "boy cuts"! I was in tears, and DH...well, let's just say MIL knew where she standed after he finished with her! That ended the MIL babysitting for a very, very long time!
Hang in there...YOU are the MOM, and do not hesitate to lay down the law and let them know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you expect them to honor your parenting wishes!
I am probably not going to be very well liked with my reply, but I am going to post anyway.
I totally agree that she NEVER should have given him ice cream at 3.5 months. I also agree that the "NEW FOOD" tasting should be left to the parents. Not necessarily so they are the ones to enjoy it, but because you never know what allergies the child might have. These can be very serious illnesses with dire reactions. I did not have these problems with my parents or MIL, but trust me when I say I have had several others with my MIL.
HOWEVER, (here comes the part you're going to hate me for), I do not think you have the right to tell someone who is helping you out that they cannot leave their own house while doing it. I think it is your responsibility to make sure they have whatever car seats and necessities needed to insure that your child will be safe if they do leave. It is also YOUR responsibility, IMHO, to ASK if they have any plans for the day and if they will be needing the carseat. Remember, they are doing you the favor and could have had other plans. Grandparents are proud too and might just want an outing to a friends, or to a store to show off their newest family member.
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Magic Kingdom Dec. '07
--Jody
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Previous Trips: PC 05/04; DS/D 09/05; POR 12/07
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HOWEVER, (here comes the part you're going to hate me for), I do not think you have the right to tell someone who is helping you out that they cannot leave their own house while doing it. I think it is your responsibility to make sure they have whatever car seats and necessities needed to insure that your child will be safe if they do leave. It is also YOUR responsibility, IMHO, to ASK if they have any plans for the day and if they will be needing the carseat. Remember, they are doing you the favor and could have had other plans. Grandparents are proud too and might just want an outing to a friends, or to a store to show off their newest family member.
I totally disagree w/ this. I'm a car seat technician and there is NO WAY anyone is transporting my children w/o my complete trust that they will abide by EVERY instruction I give them. If I don't have that trust, you don't take my child in your car.
Even if I provided and correctly installed a car seat in their car, it doesn't mean they will use the seat correctly. Unless I'm assure that they will...EVERY TIME... my child won't ride w/ them. I don't care who the person is!
Dd has ridden w/ only two people other than dh and I. My best friend and my sister... and when she rode w/ my sister it was in my car.
Sorry this is a safety issue NOT a grandma slipped her some ide cream issue... totally different, with completely different consequences if they don't comply w/ the instructions.
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At the time I was very upset since DD was a breastmilk only baby. However in hindsight, nothing bad happened as a result. They had never had kids, so they didn't know. I was grateful that they were there to watch DD, and aside from the milkshake episode, they took very good care of her. I never would leave her with my now ex-MIL who was an alcholic who couldn't even take care of herself let alone a baby. My feeling is that you have to look at the big picture. Little things like that will happen and the kids will be just fine. I found that if I tried to dictate every little thing about my DD's care to others, it was overwhelming to them and they probably wouldn't be able to remember it all. I then pared down my requests to things that were truly important as far her care went. I learned that if I trusted her caregivers enough to leave her with them, then I should trust them to use their best judgement when they were caring for her. The times that things happened were when DD was with people that I deemed irresponsible, such as my now ex-husband. 
for you.... Now you know that you need to come up w/ some ground rules...and make one of them be that the rules are flexible on YOUR part so they can be amended at any time!
Yikes....ice cream at 3 months! Sounds like something my MIL would do! 
We only have one babysitter on occasion and that's my father as he is so overly cautious with DS that we feel completely comfortable. Good luck as you establish your boundaries! 
My Dad is constantly rolling his eyes at me when I safety proof or leave a list of rules and information for them. But it's been 30 years since they had an infant around! his favorite line? "We all managed to survive childhood without all this crap." My response? "Yeah but the ones who didn't survive aren't here to complain about it!" Luckily my Mom is pretty vigilant about following rules and they don't have him that often. Shawn's parents on the other hand are angels and do their best to do things the same way we do them at home. (With, of course, some "Grammie's House' relaxing of the non-safety issue rules! 
)
the unsolicited/unwanted/unneeded advice some people thought was their right to bestow upon me, the first time mother! Luckily for my family relationships, they all knew to keep their traps clapped! Unfortunately, strangers are not as adept at discerning my moods....my favorites were offering them diet, exercise, fashion, and beauty advice right after I thanked them ever so sweetly for their input! 
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