Have guest pay portion of the trip? - Page 2 - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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I think we should all let Paige (the OP) come back and clarify the situation before we heap on all sorts of recriminations.
Re-reading her original post, she doesn't say she's actually invited the boyfriend. Just that she's "planning" and has been saving for a while.
I don't think anyone is "heaping on recriminations". They are answering the question as asked. Advice will vary depending on whether or not the boyfriend has already been invited, or if she is just planning to invite him. Either way, IMO the above posts will help her in her decision.
Well, see... that's the thing. A full page of "I would never do that" comments come off to me as us all being rather judgmental when we have little actual facts on which to base our judgements. She never said she invited him and then asked for money at the last minute, and yet that's what everyone seems focused on. (To me, at least.)
All I'm thinking is that it would be kinder of us to wait for the OP to clarify things.
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I'm in agreement with Caldercup...assumptions
I'm kinda in that boat as well. Four of my daughters friends are coming along with us in June. They were all made aware of price and meals. My daughter said they would pay thier own tickets and meals, and we would pay room, fuel, and furnish the car. I had every intention of paying for a meal at the Crystal Palace, and probably another pricey diner. What i didn't know, is Rachel nominated us to pay for tickets and the room
I'm just about done paying for the room n tickets, and the money the girls had saved will be used to help them with thier meals and other expenses. I don't feel sorry about doing this for them, since three of them come from troubled backgrounds where 1 was bounced around from house to house living with whichever relative she could. Another has no contact with her parents, and another lost her dad early in life and had never known a person in that role. They are all great girls and are in the top 8% of thier class.
Didn't mean to steal your post, sorry
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Last edited by Charlie97; 01-17-2016 at 08:41 AM..
I guess I read the posts differently. The question was "would it be rude to...." and people answered with circumstances they thought would be rude to ask for money vs. circumstances where it wouldn't be. We actually don't need to know if the OP has invited the boyfriend yet or not for the posts to be helpful. If she hasn't invited him, she has a lot of information as to how to proceed to avoid misunderstandings (be clear about what his financial contribution would be from the beginning, avoid the word "guest" as that can be misconstrued, consider whether they will be comfortable in their current accommodations). If she has invited the boyfriend already, she already knows the circumstances under which the invitation was extended and can decide what to do based on that.
I guess I read the posts differently. The question was "would it be rude to...." and people answered with circumstances they thought would be rude to ask for money vs. circumstances where it wouldn't be. We actually don't need to know if the OP has invited the boyfriend yet or not for the posts to be helpful. If she hasn't invited him, she has a lot of information as to how to proceed to avoid misunderstandings (be clear about what his financial contribution would be from the beginning, avoid the word "guest" as that can be misconstrued, consider whether they will be comfortable in their current accommodations). If she has invited the boyfriend already, she already knows the circumstances under which the invitation was extended and can decide what to do based on that.
I agree wholeheartedly.
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I guess I read the posts differently. The question was "would it be rude to...." and people answered with circumstances they thought would be rude to ask for money vs. circumstances where it wouldn't be. We actually don't need to know if the OP has invited the boyfriend yet or not for the posts to be helpful. If she hasn't invited him, she has a lot of information as to how to proceed to avoid misunderstandings (be clear about what his financial contribution would be from the beginning, avoid the word "guest" as that can be misconstrued, consider whether they will be comfortable in their current accommodations). If she has invited the boyfriend already, she already knows the circumstances under which the invitation was extended and can decide what to do based on that.
Agree 100%. Everyone that answered the question did with two alternatives: if he was invited already or not. And they all answered the question that was asked.
I mostly (like, 90%+) agree. It all boils down to how the invitation was phrased, IMO.
For January '14, we invited a very dear friend - who would otherwise not have much opportunity to go to WDW, as her husband would be well and truly bored to tears at Disney (I know, it sounds impossible, but believe me, he would be - his interests all lay completely elsewhere).
We explained, very specifically, that she was our guest. We explicitly told her "bring souvenir money, but don't worry about paying for rooms, tickets, airfare, food, anything like that. You're our guest for this trip." We then (gently) teased her every time she tried to pay for a cold drink or mickey-bar snack while in the parks, insisting that we would be paying for such things.
...
So, as I said, it depends on how the invitation was extended. I think that an expectation of payment needs to be made right away and up front; if you don't discuss it, then the assumption should be that he bears no share of the financial costs of being there.
Asking for a financial contribution at some later date, unless the possibility was at least broached (e.g. "we'll figure out the costs and then sit down to talk sums with you") ... if I were the invitee, I think I'd be less than pleased with an "oh by the way" request for money.
If he's only 20, he might also find himself unable to afford to go. At twenty, depending on things, five hundred bucks can be a LOT of money ... especially if he then still has to cover some personal expenses of his own (the oft-mentioned "souvenir money" for example).
TO SUMMARISE: RUDE: any situation which might leave the invitee under the impression that a financial contribution was not expected, but then asking for one long after the invite, e.g. out of the blue: "Oh by the way, we'll need $___ from you next month, for the Disney trip". Triple-especially-so if the final bill is already locked in and nonrefundable.
NOT RUDE: any invitation that includes an explicit explanation of what would be asked-for financially, e.g. "We'd love to take you with us - if you could handle your airfare and share of the dining plan, we'll provide the room and park tickets".
I guess I read the posts differently. The question was "would it be rude to...." and people answered with circumstances they thought would be rude to ask for money vs. circumstances where it wouldn't be. We actually don't need to know if the OP has invited the boyfriend yet or not for the posts to be helpful. If she hasn't invited him, she has a lot of information as to how to proceed to avoid misunderstandings (be clear about what his financial contribution would be from the beginning, avoid the word "guest" as that can be misconstrued, consider whether they will be comfortable in their current accommodations). If she has invited the boyfriend already, she already knows the circumstances under which the invitation was extended and can decide what to do based on that.
I think it's extremely difficult if not impossible to answer this type of question without saying what you would and wouldn't do and/or what you've done in similar situations.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pax
TO SUMMARISE: RUDE: any situation which might leave the invitee under the impression that a financial contribution was not expected, but then asking for one long after the invite, e.g. out of the blue: "Oh by the way, we'll need $___ from you next month, for the Disney trip". Triple-especially-so if the final bill is already locked in and nonrefundable.
NOT RUDE: any invitation that includes an explicit explanation of what would be asked-for financially, e.g. "We'd love to take you with us - if you could handle your airfare and share of the dining plan, we'll provide the room and park tickets".
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