A Dream is a Wish--Mini-TR [UPDATED WITH PIX posts 316 & 320] - Page 15 - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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Old 10-22-2015, 11:11 AM   #211
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I'm so glad to hear that things have settled down somewhat for your sister's family.
There will be more drama in the future, but it's great that your sister talked to him honestly. I'm sure he was expecting to be sent away, poor little guy. My granddaughter was adopted from foster care, so I'm more than interested in how things go and will continue to send positive thoughts their way.
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Old 10-22-2015, 08:24 PM   #212
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It sounds like your DN is so fortunate to have found your sister. She seems to be willing to take the long way, not the easy way and that's what a child like him needs.

They are all in my thoughts and I hope they will soon have a wonderful family trip (although perhaps to someplace less stimulating than Disney.
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:44 AM   #213
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I'm so glad to hear that things have settled down somewhat for your sister's family.
There will be more drama in the future, but it's great that your sister talked to him honestly. I'm sure he was expecting to be sent away, poor little guy. My granddaughter was adopted from foster care, so I'm more than interested in how things go and will continue to send positive thoughts their way.
Yes, it's good. She called to see if I could come up to support them trick-or-treating. She thinks he could end up having a blow-out that night, but having another person along would help with that. I can't though, I've got plans and we're staying in town.

She called last night to say that she's noticing that she is escaping with food, esp sugar, and noticing that is a great sign, that she has come out of the worst of it and is able to reflect on how she is doing more. Good! DNeph is scheduled to start at the therapy day school on Nov 9th.

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It sounds like your DN is so fortunate to have found your sister. She seems to be willing to take the long way, not the easy way and that's what a child like him needs.

They are all in my thoughts and I hope they will soon have a wonderful family trip (although perhaps to someplace less stimulating than Disney.
She has not always been the most insightful or reflective person. My sis is a lawyer, and a staunch evangelical christian, and often is a black and white thinker. I do think that they did bring him in and expect him to be grateful and for their family to be "family" right away. Now, 4 years later, he's saying that it's not working for him. It's been a huge shock, but they can see the writing on the wall, and they are working to meet him where he's at. I think this was a long time coming, and while it's hard, this is EXACTLY the work they need to go through to help him move toward greater acceptance of this family as his "forever" family.
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:47 AM   #214
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I've been working on shoring up and formatting my daily plans in my planning spreadsheet. It's so fun!

Also, spent a good amt of time with my parents this past week. It was a blast. I started working on my dress pattern. I bought a used flannel sheet in good condition, and I'm using that to work up my pattern based on my duct-tape body form. It's worked out pretty well so far. I have had to make a few adustments along the way, but I'm getting a great, tailor-fit paper pattern that I will be able to use for the real thing. AND I'm going to have a neat flannel dress in a fall print that is pretty loud, but I think I can get away with wearing as well. I'll post pics of the flannel dress when I have it finished.
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Old 10-26-2015, 02:02 PM   #215
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Looking forward to seeing photos of the dress when it's done.
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Old 10-26-2015, 07:17 PM   #216
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Great work! Can't wait for the pics!
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Old 10-27-2015, 06:34 AM   #217
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Sounds like the visit with your parents energized you to start sewing. Can't wait to see both dresses.
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Old 10-27-2015, 09:35 AM   #218
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Looking forward to seeing photos of the dress when it's done.
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Great work! Can't wait for the pics!
Thanks! I didn't get nearly as much done on it on Sunday as I expected to, so I hope it will be done next weekend. (Giving me 3 more weekends to work on the "real" dress, plus DS and DH's shirts.) Ummmmm, I think I can hit the panic button now.

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Sounds like the visit with your parents energized you to start sewing. Can't wait to see both dresses.
I think it was the other way around, I knew I needed to sew, and my mom has a serger, so I wanted to do it at their house. Plus, they have a lot more room, so it's easier.

Once I was there, I didn't want to go anywhere else, though. I love being with my parents, especially in the fall-winter months. I'm really lucky to have a great relationship with them (esp since I left home at 15.) The MINUTE they let me go and stopped trying to bring me back, our relationship was restored and we've been best buds ever since. Funny, my sis was a "good girl" and never really rebelled much. Her relationship with the parents is more conflicted as an adult.
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Old 10-27-2015, 09:43 AM   #219
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I've been struggling with my daily schedule, because of the Magic Morning times. Tuesday I have planned as a CA day, but magic morning is availble at DL at 8am. The other 2 days it's available it starts at 7am! That seems just a bit too rough on DS, who sleeps until 9 if allowed. Getting him up before 7 seems like a recipe for a bad day.

I started a thread in the planning section about this.
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Old 10-27-2015, 10:08 AM   #220
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I've decided to make daily touring plans with 2 options, one set with DL on Monday and Tuesday (MM at 8) and CA on Th and Sa, and another set with DL on Monday and Th (MM at 7am) and CA on Tu and Sa.

That way, I will have a schedule for each option that I can follow, but we can decide the night before.

As a reminder, I am doing detailed touring plans for the morning until the crowds pick up, then it's much more loose. We have a lot of days, so we should be able to do all of our must-dos. I just don't want to get stuck waiting in long lines or wondering which direction to go next.
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Old 10-27-2015, 01:56 PM   #221
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deciding what to do about the early mornings. Personally, the 7:00am start worked brilliantly for us, but then again, we're early risers and you know your family best of all to know whether it will work for you.
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Old 10-28-2015, 08:01 AM   #222
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Kimmy,

I have worked with children who are adopted/awaiting adoption for many years. Regardless of you sister's personal issues, my experience is much of the "Blame" lays with the adoption agency. They do not adequately prepare kids for adoption, especially accepting the loss of their biological family and preparation for getting a new family. It is hard work and I think it is easier for people to pretend getting a new (usually middle class) family will solve any problems.

I also worked for the state child welfare agency right out of college. I was neither trained nor supervised adequately for the difficult job I was doing. I would also argue at 22, I just didn't have the life experience to do the best job, no matter who much I tried. In retrospect, I see so many things that could/should have been done better.
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Old 10-28-2015, 09:57 AM   #223
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Kimmy,

I have worked with children who are adopted/awaiting adoption for many years. Regardless of you sister's personal issues, my experience is much of the "Blame" lays with the adoption agency. They do not adequately prepare kids for adoption, especially accepting the loss of their biological family and preparation for getting a new family. It is hard work and I think it is easier for people to pretend getting a new (usually middle class) family will solve any problems.

I also worked for the state child welfare agency right out of college. I was neither trained nor supervised adequately for the difficult job I was doing. I would also argue at 22, I just didn't have the life experience to do the best job, no matter who much I tried. In retrospect, I see so many things that could/should have been done better.
Yes, sadly this is the case for DN as well. He met my sister and her husband once, then was dropped off with them the next week "forever". Poor guy.
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My Previous TripsDisneyland 1985 (age 8); Disneyland 1991 (age 13); Disneyland 1998 x 3; WDW 1999; Disneyland Paris 2007; Disneyland 2013; WDW 2014; Disneyland 2015; DL Hong Kong 2016; DL Shanghai 2016 (!), Disneyland 2016
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Old 10-28-2015, 09:52 PM   #224
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Like your idea of two options for your plans.
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Old 10-29-2015, 05:52 AM   #225
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Kimmy,

I read your post and all I could think was no wonder he has reactive attachment disorder. I have a hard time that we always tell kids to never go with strangers but the child welfare agencies place kids with strangers all the time. And our DCYf is hell bent on terminating rights of parents of completely unadoptable kids. I mean there are not many homes for a seriously disturbed firesetting 14 year old.

ETA: I am excited that your trip is getting closer. Disneyland is a wonderful place to spend time to get away from it all.
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