Major pixies needed please [updated 4/3, post #306] About This Page:

[joelsmom]

So glad to hear that Lenny will soon be home. Best wishes for a smooth transition and continued healing

[Roxie2006]

Continued pixies and prayers for a speedy recovery!!!!

[CinderAbby]

UPDATE 10/27/17

Well Lenny is home and more than once I've been tempted to send him back to the rehab facility. He's goes between being fine and being a complete jerk. He complained about something the other day - I forget exactly what it was but it had something to do with the bedroom and my answer to his complaint was "the bedroom hasn't changed in the 7 weeks you were gone. It was this way when you left so you knew exactly what you were coming home to." He's also been cranky because he's feeling "overwhelmed." Well how in the you know what do you think I've been feeling? I even told him "despite what you may think, this isn't all about you. This affects Abby and I and frankly I'm tired of hearing "how is Lenny?" It would be nice if people stopped to wonder how I've been doing through all of this. Not only do I have you to deal with, I have Abby and my mother with her nasty comments, the insurance companies, doctor bills, regular bills, I'm still working two jobs and doing stuff around the house and that doesn't include the amount of time I spent taking you things. Don't talk to me about overwhelmed." Throw in the fact that his first night home, he kept waking me more often not so it wasn't until about 3:15 am that I was finally able to get a few hours sleep in (a few being the key word - my alarm goes off at 6 am). Wenesday night wasn't much better - he fianlly left me alone around 1 am - and last night was about midnight.

So yeah, that's the state of things right now in that regards. As far as visiting nurses and PT, the nurse came in yesterday when I was home so I could meet with her too. She determined Lenny isn't really in need of the nursing services so that will be kept to a minimum so he can get more PT time. PT started today but she has young kids so she'll come earlier in the day while I'm working. I'm fine with that but if need be, I can contact her or the nurse if I have any questions or concerns. OT wasn't specifically called for but if PT feels it's needed, it will be offered. Lenny has kind of been this route before when he had his hips done so it's not entirely new but to me it seems like this "service" (I guess that's what you could call it) seems to be better at what they do than when Lenny had the hip done so it's definitely a good thing to have. We'll see where it takes us and how long it gets approved for and if after home services they recommend outpatient services which hopefully can be done here in the town where we live. I don't know. It's late and I'm tired so I'm not going to think about it for tonight. I'm only going to worry tonight about closing up the station, getting home and going to bed. Tomorrow or next week is soon enough to worry about how much PT he needs and where he gets it

[Cam22]

I know this has to be overwhelming for all of you. Sending you, Abby, and Lenny many as you continue to work back toward normal.

[GingerJ]

Continued

You've been shouldering one heck of a load through all this...I'm glad that at least you have a congenial workplace these days. Take heart--you can do this! Lenny will soon recognize what you've been through, I'm sure...and your support will keep him going through the pain that is PT. I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight; everything will feel better when you're rested.

[Pris]

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. I hope that at least you are able to get a good night's sleep. That will help a bit. Being a care taker is really difficult and you are certainly going through it. Sending loads of to help you as you cope.

[joelsmom]

I know all too well, Darlene, what it’s like to shoulder a large chunk of family responsibility. Bless you, dear, as you wade through all of this. Remember, you need some rest, too.

[cattailmarsh]

As already mentioned by others, you have everything on your shoulders. You are balancing it all even if you feel like it is not working. Lenny is home and that in its self is an accomplishment not only of his but yours in getting the house prepped and managing all the other big "little" things it takes to have him at home. I know you are handling work bc you have to and as a mother, I know Abby's needs are always foremost in your thoughts and she is a happy teen. You are a great mom, wife, homemaker, employee, etc. - you have no other option but to make it all work and I KNOW YOU CAN! When you need us - your PP is here to listen and support you any way that we can. I hope everyone allows you to get some rest this weekend - you more than deserve it! Group hugs and pixies for the strength to get up and do it all again tomorrow. {()}


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[Huntermom]

Darlene,

I disagree with cattailmarsh. There are 3, almost 4 adults in your home. YOu should not be doing it all (although I think you tend to think you have to.)

Your mother can and should be helping with the house and perhaps supervising Abby a little. Abby can also help with housework and perhaps keeping her father company. Lenny did not injure his brain-let him take over some of the phone calls and chasing things. It will give him something to do and ease yourburden. If he screws up, that's ok. Have him ask for help (when I was ill, the home health nurses and staff were great at picking up the little things like prescription renewals).

You cannot do it all and maintain your health and sanity. Have a family meeting and try to address these things. ON Lenny's behalf, I can say when I first came home, I was scared and worried. Again, the home health program was a wonderful resource. YOu can check to see if they have a social worker to do some of the paperwork.

This is a good place to vent but please don't hesitate to ask those working with Lenny for help. Caretaking is extremely stressful. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

Continued pixies and prayers.

[CinderAbby]

Your mother can and should be helping with the house and perhaps supervising Abby a little.

She does but since she doesn't like Lenny, that's the extent of what she does - and has done for years. Did I ever tell you guys not once in 7 weeks did she go see him - and the one time we used Skype and she was in the room, she didn't even want to acknowledge him . She rolled her eyes, looked at the screen and said "Hi Lenny, how are you feeling." His answer was okay and then she walked away.

Abby can also help with housework and perhaps keeping her father company.

Abby does but when she and Lenny are together for too long, they but heads and argue.

Lenny did not injure his brain-let him take over some of the phone calls and chasing things.

When he was in the hospital, he did but for the six weeks at Rehab, the only phone he had access to was his cell phone and 9 times out of 10, he could not get phone calls or text messages with it so any call that required he leave a message and have someone call back, they had to call me. Now that he's home, the bulk of the calls that needed to be made have been made and the few remaining he can and will do.

Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

The way I was raised, you don't ask for help - and if you make the mistake of asking, you regret doing it.

[Huntermom]

Darlene,

Perhaps what you can learn from all of this is it's ok to ask for help. I tell my clients, that the courts don't view asking for help and getting help as a negative. It is actually a positive thing. I strongly urge you to reach out because if something happens to you (because of shear exhaustion or being overwhelmed), everything falls apart. You need to be able to take care of yourself and asking for help is part of that.

Many pixies for less stress and a good night's sleep.

[wheezie]

Lots of hugs and . I remember how overwhelmed I was when dh was in the hospital for several days last year. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. that your burdens are lightened up.

For more practical advice, could you sleep on the couch for a bit so you can at least get a full nights sleep? Our couch isn’t the most comfortable but I still sleep better on it than I do in my own bed. I’m not sure why, but I do. I love sleeping on the couch, lol.

[Colexis Mom]

[Roxie2006]

Sending pixies for Lenny to have a speedy recovery and for you all. I know none of this situation can be easy.

[bonphil]

Pixies and prayers for all of you.