Feeling down today...being single sticks! UPDATE...kinda
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RobinKay6573 · 06-16-2005, 11:02 AM

I am feeling a bit down today. I guess it is just one of those days. Recently I found out that my ex-husband got married last summer. He was a terrible man to me and treated me like property rather then a girlfriend/wife. Campus security and the cops knew us very well and so did our neighbors who called them on us. Every day we would argue about something until it climax shortly before he Thanksgiving 1994. The abuse was just emotional until the last month of our relationship. When it became physical I fought back and that is why he had enough and kicked me out...in Michigan where I had no family and WAY before there were battered woman's shelters. Even today over 10 years later his words echo in my head and I think of how he stripped almost everything from me…family, friends, schooling, hobbies…everything was about him. Yes it is good that it ended, great that I could get out and THANK GOD I didn’t have children with this man but it still upsets me that he can find a wife and happiness and I am still single. *sigh* Thank goodness he is back in Massachusettes so I never have to see him again!! Anyone live near Uxbridge? Okay…Robin pity party is over.

LSUtigerfan · 06-16-2005, 11:09 AM

Kudos to you for getting out of that situation, Robin! And,

don't think for a second that your ex has found marital bliss...he is just controlling another woman again. No one can truly be happy in that type of situation. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I've seen way too much abuse in my profession, and you should be proud of yourself! Set your standards high....seriously, make a list of what you want & don't want in a spouse, refer to it often....remind yourself that you deserve to be someone's "Belle!"

Smile, and try to have a GREAT day!

DreaminDizney1002 · 06-16-2005, 11:22 AM

Awww, Robin...don't feel so gloomy. Just think, you are in a much better place now than you were 10 years ago!

You're a great girl and you will find your Prince Charming - any guy would be lucky to be with you!

DawnDenise · 06-16-2005, 11:27 AM

Sorry to hear that you are feeling down today!!

You are in a much better place now and are an amazing woman! Keep your head up and know that you will find someone when you least expect it. I know people say that all the time but that's when it happened for me!!

SHEANA1226 · 06-16-2005, 11:31 AM

Robin I was in a similar situation with my ex-husband. You are in a much better place. The woman your ex married is probably feeling the same way you did and that is not a happy marriage.

**chezp** · 06-16-2005, 11:36 AM

[ QUOTE ]

Kudos to you for getting out of that situation, Robin! And,

don't think for a second that your ex has found marital bliss...he is just controlling another woman again. No one can truly be happy in that type of situation. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I've seen way too much abuse in my profession, and you should be proud of yourself! Set your standards high....seriously, make a list of what you want & don't want in a spouse, refer to it often....remind yourself that you deserve to be someone's "Belle!"

Smile, and try to have a GREAT day!

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Lea summed it up. Your Prince Charming will come along one day - and when he does, he'll be someone who deserves someone as special as you Robin.

soccermomof2 · 06-16-2005, 12:01 PM

I am sorry that you are feeling so glum, but the bright side is that you are better off today than you were 10 years ago. There is someone out there for everyone, so hang in there. You may meet your Prince Charming in a place you would never expect.

Grammy Grumpy · 06-16-2005, 12:04 PM

Cheer up Robin, you've got lots of friends here. Sorry we can't be there in person when you need us!

graygables · 06-16-2005, 12:16 PM

[ QUOTE ]

Kudos to you for getting out of that situation, Robin! And,

don't think for a second that your ex has found marital bliss...he is just controlling another woman again. No one can truly be happy in that type of situation. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I've seen way too much abuse in my profession, and you should be proud of yourself! Set your standards high....seriously, make a list of what you want & don't want in a spouse, refer to it often....remind yourself that you deserve to be someone's "Belle!"

[/ QUOTE ]

Well said! I was EXACTLY where you were, except I had 2 DDs and my ex was a hitter from the start and a child molester in the end. I was alone, single mom, and he remarried and had another daughter. I was so upset/jealous/angry and I could not understand why on earth I was feeling that way. He got to "move on" and I was stuck in the mire of my life. I even had to continue on with interviews for Army security clearances for him and with child services about what he did to DD, so I couldn't seem to "get away".

I soon learned to look forward instead of back. Every time a "backward glance" loomed, I turned my thoughts forward. I refused to be a victim. 4 years after my divorce (6 years after I left him), I met DH and we will celebrate 10 years of marriage on Saturday.

I recently learned that my ex married yet a *third* time and has "acquired" that wife's child to support (he's up to 4 now) and this time I was able to feel sorry for her and the kids for having to live with such a creep.

Keep looking forward, try to see the good all around you, your Passporter friends who

you, you are a great woman and someday your prince will come, when you least expect it!

TroianRae · 06-16-2005, 01:02 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Kudos to you for getting out of that situation, Robin! And,

don't think for a second that your ex has found marital bliss...he is just controlling another woman again. No one can truly be happy in that type of situation. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I've seen way too much abuse in my profession, and you should be proud of yourself! Set your standards high....seriously, make a list of what you want & don't want in a spouse, refer to it often....remind yourself that you deserve to be someone's "Belle!"

Smile, and try to have a GREAT day!

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Lea summed it up. Your Prince Charming will come along one day - and when he does, he'll be someone who deserves someone as special as you Robin.

[/ QUOTE ]

lauren-roxy · 06-16-2005, 01:03 PM

Sorry you are feeling so gloomy Robin. You will find someone when you least expect it, I kinow because that is how I met my husband! You are a sweet and caring person and you don't need to settle, you are going to find someone who cares about you and treats you the way you deserve!! We are all here for you on these bad days!!!

LSUtigerfan · 06-16-2005, 01:17 PM

Dawn (graygables), I just wanted to give you some applause also

I'm really proud of those of you who are strong enough to get away from those creeps! It really is harder than staying, from what I've heard. Hopefully, you will both be an inspiration to others who are in a similar situation.

And a Happy 10th Anniversary to you & your dh on Saturday!!!(I'm doing this early cause I won't be on the boards

)

I'm glad you finally found your "Romeo!"

**2princessmom** · 06-16-2005, 01:48 PM

Robin,
I am sorry you are feeling so glum. But like many others have said be Proud of yourself for getting out! Not many have the ability or strenght to do that. You will find your Prince Charming! Probably when you least expect it and in the strangest place!
Hang in there! You are a wonderful woman and your Prince will be very lucky to have you!