Nuclear Family Trip-Let's Hope I Don't Explode!! About This Page:

[KimandMark]

I've got some numbers for you. 9. 6. 5-2=3. 32. 31. 23.

9 number of days before we leave for....

6 nights at AKV-Jambo. There were supposed to be

5 of us (Jake, Me, Weeman Adam, Baca and Mimi) but minus

2 (Baca and Mimi) there are now just

3 of us because just

32 days before our trip Mimi (my mother) had a small stroke and was admited to the hospital. Clearly, Mimi and Baca would not be able to take this trip, and we were uncertain if our little nuclear family would go either. As DVC members know, you have until

31 days prior to your trip to cancel without having to rebook. So I had to make a decision--cancel them or cancel the whole thing. My father insisted that we go, as my mother was okay/stable and he didn't want Adam to miss the trip. With just 24 hours to make a decision we opted to go. Mom spent another

23 days in the hospital and rehabilitation center before coming home Wednesday. She's doing very well, following through on her exercises but she's also lost some coginitive abilities--her memory is poor, and she says she really has to work hard to follow or maintain a conversation.

It's been a month of stress and anxiety, confusion, joy, frustration, all the things that go with a sick and elderly parent.

Since joining DVC four years ago, we've always brought my parents on an annual trip, partly because they love Disney, partly because they love to see Adam enjoy Disney, partly because we like getting 2 or 3 adult dinners to ourselves, partly because they do so much childcare for use the rest of the year they deserve a vacation too. So this will be the first time we've gone as a family without my parents. Of course I'm going to miss date nights, but I'm really upset that Baca won't get to swim with Adam, and Adam won't have his morning run around between our balconies and bedrooms getting excited to spend days and days with all of us.

As for the logisitics of making DVC and airline changes, I've got to praise both Disney and Southwest for being almost absurdly pleasant and easy to deal with. Perhaps it's the family illness that brings out the extra nice customer service or maybe these two companies really do deserve the praise consumers give them.

I called DVC Member Services to cancel part of my reservation because I was sure I would screw it up online and wind up with no room and the few borrowed points I was using lost forever. We booked a two bedroom at AKV Jambo House (we just prefer Jambo, sue me) which is always a one bedroom with a lock-off studio so I figured it would be easy--just release the lock-off and done. The CS told me it's not really that easy, as they book the two bedrooms as if they are NOT lock-offs, so while someone could get that studio now, it's generally not in the pool of rooms as a studio. I'd borrowed 12 or 15 points to fulfill this reservation and wanted to make sure those were used and the refunded points were from this use year so that I can bank them (once you borrow, you must use, they can't be put back/banked). The CS took care of that, I got 47ish points back and off to the bank they will go! So easy. And we had a long talk about my mother, her father, elder care options, homes, finances, everthing. She really was an outstanding person to talk to just then as my mother lay, medicated into a near coma (she had some bananas high BP that had to be dealt with in addition to the stroke symptoms).

Southwest was equally amazing. Look, my parents aren't going anywhere on an airplane for a quite awhile, possibily not ever again. Cancelling a SW ticket gets you a credit, but it expires 12 months from the original purchase date. That would be December. So I called and explained it all again, and again, had a CS who shared the story of her father and offered tons of sympathy in addition to changing our nuclear family's flights (Jake, Adam, me) to a more convenient airport, cancelling my parents and getting me in touch with another CS who could help me with a refund. Really, I'd figured that at best I'd get an extension on the credit, or perhaps a partial refund, maybe the ability to rename a ticket. But no. FULL REFUND. I explained to another insanely pleasant person the whole thing, again, and she said write this down: claim number for each, confirmation number, email address, subject line. Then she told me to call my mother's doctor and get a letter saying she won't be flying. Bang. Done. Easy.

I'm not kidding when I say that these two phone calls took about 15 minutes total. Getting the letter was easy, I emailed and had a response in minutes, with a note that the refund would be processed in 30 days.

In so many ways I feel like an incredibly insensitvie person that I spent time while at the hospotal with my mother making these calls and decisions. Shouldn't I have been worried about her and not about 50 DVC points or $700 of airfare? I suppose I handle stress by controlling all the things I can. You'd be amazed at the amount of work I got done in the overnights at the hospital. Mom was sleeping/drugged and I was afraid she'd wake up and not know where she was or who the nurses were so I stayed all night until she was coherent. So I sat on her bed, with her hand on my lap, and my computer on her table, typing away, narrating my work, offering commentary on the lastest education policy and hoped she could hear me.

She's home now, sad to miss Disney, but excited to Skype with her Weeman Adam. The visiting nurse comes daily, OT and PT are semi-supervised, she still heads off to dialysis M/W/F mornings, and while she's not prefect, she's actually doing far better physically than she was prior to the stroke. Seems a bit a wake up call about her sedentary behaviors, ignoring doctors, and brushing off medication.

Here's hoping our first long trip with just the three of use doesn't cause one of us (me...) to explode; counting down 9 days until the Nuclear Family Trip begins!!!

[MikeL]

So very sorry to hear about your mom and sending prayers and pixie dust your way
Hope the trip is a good one for all concerned

[oldmom]

sorry to hear about your mom, but I totally understand the controlling the details that you can. My grandmother used to call it 'polishing the corners', her way of handling pieces and parts when the whole is just waaaay too much.

[mcneal]

Makes perfect sense that you did those things. If your mind is busy taking care of stuff then it can't fall apart! Glad you mother is doing well.

[DrDolphin]

Sorry to hear about mom's stroke. I know what you mean about parents that don't listen to medical advice until a major problem occurs and they get a wake up call... I have one of those too.

Hope your nuclear family has a relaxing and enjoyable trip.

[belle0517]

Sorry to hear about your mom but glad you could still go to Disney!

[OhToodles!]

Sorry to hear what happened, but glad to hear she's doing better and will hopefully be healthier than before.
It was a while before we travled without extra hands on a 'nuclear' vacation and while it is different/harder/strange, they are great trips too!

[Cam22]

Sorry to hear about your mother's stroke, but thank goodness she is already doing so much better. Kudos to DVC and Southwest for making it stress free to make the changes. I react like you to stress, controlling what I can so don't become paralyzed by what I cannot. Hope your nuclear family trip is magical.

[MayraLR]

Sorry about your mom. Hope she keeps on getting better!
Glad you were able to work things out with DVC and Southwest!

[Tara O'Hara]

Sorry to hear about your Mom, Kim. I'm so glad to hear that she is recovering well. It's a long road. It sounds like you guys really need this trip! I hope you have a ball!!

[Colexis Mom]

Gosh Kim, what a wild ride! Tons of pixies for your Mom!

I'm glad you were able to get all the points/airfare worked out, and hope you guys have a great time! Sounds like you could definitely use this vacation!

[NanaTink]

Sorry to hear about your mom, many healing for her.

As to working on getting the refunds and points all back in their piles, I would be doing the same thing! Having spent my fair share of time in ICU waiting rooms and hospital rooms with a critically ill parent, having something to occupy and focus on is a lifesaver. And it is control because so much of what is going on is out of your control…

Glad she's doing much better and your trip is a go….

[KimandMark]

Originally Posted by oldmom

sorry to hear about your mom, but I totally understand the controlling the details that you can. My grandmother used to call it 'polishing the corners', her way of handling pieces and parts when the whole is just waaaay too much.

Exactly...I'll have to remember that phrase!

And thank you to you all for the support and the well wishes!! It's time to find my inner-sailor/truck driver voice and get back writing this trip report with a bit more enthusiasm!!

[KimandMark]

Onward and upward.

So the attendees this year aren't the only changes we made. The demise (grrr) of the non-expiring pass has left me in a long period of mourning. Especially when I had to finally buy APs. What's that saying... The 10 Day Non-Expiring Pass is dead, long live the 10 Day Non-Expiring Pass...or something like that. $506 for an adult and I could get at least four trips over two years out of one ticket: 3 days during family trip, 2 days for FWF trip, another 3 days for family, then the last 2 at FWF. But I'm trying to see the bright side of spending $563 per person and have it expire in 12 months.

One serious downside of the 10 day option was that I was stingy with my park days. We had some very old water park option tickets (like years, uh, pre-finger scan, possibly belonging to my ex-husband...shh, don't tell) that we would use to round out the days when Adam was too little to need a ticket and also too little to have an opinion. But that was always a bit stressful, and managing our park days made good planning a top priority.

I'm trying to see the value of the nearly $1800 I spent on APs in the ability to just drop by a park if we choose to; to get FP+s for arrival day and immediately get on a ride and see some fireworks; to get that fancy pants sticker for my car.You know, the oval one, with AP on it, to go with the other nerdy shit on my bumper, including, but not limited to various triathlon distances. But really, that popping in thing seems pretty great. Adam is ever changing in his preferences, so I'm glad to have the freedom to fly by the seat of our collective pants. Going late April/early May helps that a ton as there aren't a lot of crowds.

So there's that, and I think we can actually have a better Disney plan overall, in terms of our long range use of DVC and APs. We'd like to take Adam to other places (uh, Europe, anyone? cause there can't be anything more relaxing than dragging a small kid around Rome, am I right?). So our plan now is May Trip/FWF Trip/April Trip all on one pass, then take a year off, bank points and go elsewhere. For those needing a more visual display of our family vacation calendar:

May 2015 DVC
April 2016 DVC
Pass expires
April 2017 Fancy European Vacation or horrifying two weeks spent in an RV (this is evidently a topic of debate in our house, I can't see why)
May 2018 DVC
April 2018 DVC

Our neighbors are DVC too, and that is a story for another day, but suffice it to say, one should not borrow up to one's eyes to build structures, own vehicles and buy DCV and then complain about the cost of airfare AND then try to convice us to ALL RIDE TO DISNEY TOGETHER IN ONE MINI VAN LIKE WE ARE 20 AND GOING ON SPRING BREAK IN 1990. Can you see it? Four adults, one of them 6'4" and three kids aged 2-10? Yeah, I'm all about the plane tickets. The day I can't afford the plane ticket is the day stay-cation enters my vocabulary.

Anyway, we might have to adjust this so we can go on a trip with them too. Apart from the above described trip to crazy town, I love my neighbors and would share a villa and booze with them anytime. Just, uh, not a line of credit.

Where was I?

Changes coming with this trip....Well, clearly no date nights. On one hand this means no trying to act like I've got my shit together at 7AM when I was out late eating and drinking and drinking and hitting EMH till all hours. On the other hand, it means taking my four year old to Jiko at 5:30PM and praying to the parenting gods that he'll eat something/anything and we'll get grown up food and wine. This actually won't be bad, other than the time of day. We typically eat a small app/cheese/snack thing with Adam at 5:30ish and he goes to bed at 7:30, then Jake cooks something that has bacon fat on it and we eat and have a glass of wine around 9. So we typically have date night meals at 9 or 9:30 as well, because we can put Adam to bed first. He knows how to behave in a restaurant but he pretty much hates food, so I'll have a jelly sandwich (you read that right, just jelly) in my purse for him, along with some apple slices and the magic of the Lego Junior app on my iphone.

Yup. I'm going to be that parent. Screen time be damned. I'll have to remember his headphones.

If all else fails, we'll be in our own hotel and I can take him up to the room while Jake gets our food for takeout. We've planned some of our own in room dinners as well, mostly combining a meal from Jiko or Sanaa with some groceries and then eating out on our balcony (one bedroom, remember) while Adam sleeps in the living room. Should be interesting.

I've also decided to push my luck and sanity by booking Spice Road at 8:30 one night, for Illuminations. Adam stays up late once in a great while, and it goes okay mostly, and he eats pita bread, so, you know, there's that.

I'm going to need more than pixies, people. It should probably come in a wine shaped bottle and ideally be a nice Cabernet, maybe from 2006? Thanks!!

[Cam22]

This trip is going to stretch you all out of your norm from past trips.