Feeling Frustrated About This Page:

[JackieB]

As I have told you all before I am a 2nd grade teacher and love my job....except for one student. I have a student who thinks he can do whatever he wants and has been let to do this for the past few years at school. He throws fits often and when he does not get what he wants he throws chairs, desks, books, rips things up, etc. (you get the picture). Well yesterday he didn't get what he wanted and he started kicking me, throwing desk and chairs, and screaming. I cleared my classroom of the other students. I was so shaken up by the incident that I couldn't talk about it without crying. The child was sent home but first thing this morning here he comes back to my room. Once again he refuses to do what he's told. This time he gets up and leaves. His mom was called and she spent most of the day in the classroom with him. (Texting and talking on the phone the whole time). Am I wrong in thinking #1 that he shouldn't have been back in my class the next day after repeatedly kicking me and #2 that he and his mom should have at least apologized for his behavior yesterday? I am frustrated and upset that he has been allowed to do this for that past few years. I don't feel like I should have to worry about being kicked, hit or whatever when going to work....and I don't think the other students in my class should have to be afraid to come into class with this student. Thanks for letting me vent my frustration.

[bsblady01]

sounds like he needs to be tested for add and being on the spectrum that is not normal behavior for a seven year old. I am a first grade teacher so I feel your pain for dealing with kids all day

[revral]

It sounds like he needs to be evaluated for any number of things including add & being on the spectrum. Since he's throwing things including furniture & hitting you on one hand I don't think he should be allowed back in the classroom until there's at the very least an evaluation done and some sort of plan for "handling" (yeah, I hate that term in this context but don't know what else to use) him & on the other I'm not sure isolating him like that is going to help. I'm not a teacher, childcare provider, medical professional, social worker etc, that gives me any sort of a qualification to make recommendations. This is just my opinion.

[Huntermom]

This child needs help. Does you school have a behavioral specialist? Can there be some kind of behavior program?

I don't think the mother should need to apoligze-the child does. 7 is plently old enough to understand what he does and I suspect he has a good understanding of how it is effective in getting him what he wants.

I cannot believe it has gone on for three years.

[Her Dotness]

I can believe it's gone on for this long.

Administrators have become discouragingly gunshy if the threat of a lawsuit for "mistreating" someone's kid is at all likely. In that light, my first questions would be, "Has either parent a close relationship with a school board member?" or "Is either a bigwig in the community?" Sadly, if the answer to either is yes, you probably have no recourse but to endeavor to survive until you can socially promote this kid.

It's quite possible that the parents think there's nothing at all wrong with their darling and will leap to protect him from the "mean" school's least effort to correct his behavior. That the mother showed so little concern while present suggests this possibility or that she hasn't a clue how to get the kid in line and has given up trying.

It wouldn't surprise me but that they'd refuse to allow a referral for evaluation, too.

If you're a union member, perhaps there's some aid available through it.

[Kynna]

We had a similar situation with a young man in my kids school and year after year the poor teacher had to find a way to cope with him but there were no real interventions. The problem is that even though the teachers could way goodbye with glee at the end of the school year but our kids couldn't escape his behavior. It took us parents saying enough is enough to get this boy the attention he needed. He was moved to a school that can handle his behavior and from what I understand he is doing better.

I really think having the mother sitting there isn't going to make a difference in the long run and how annoying is that for you??? He is just getting extra (even special) attention but no real consequence. Weird.

[Teresa]

HE needs to apologize, not only to you but to his classmates for disrupting the class.
If he does this again, you need to talk to him beforehand and let him know it is expected that he apologize to his classmates.
If the mother returns again, a gentle reminder that cell phones are not to be used in the classroom should suffice.

[Her Dotness]

Originally Posted by Teresa

HE needs to apologize, not only to you but to his classmates for disrupting the class.
If he does this again, you need to talk to him beforehand and let him know it is expected that he apologize to his classmates.

And then what when the kid says he's not gonna, that's stoopid?

(This situation reminds me of a kid in the high school class that I called "the animal class." When I told him I was contacting his parents if he didn't straighten up, quit egging on other students, and do some work, he said the equivalent of, "Just try it. They can afford better lawyers than you can, and you'll be out of a job after a lawsuit that leaves your head spinning." He was a smart kid, too smart by far for his own good.)

If the mother returns again, a gentle reminder that cell phones are not to be used in the classroom should suffice.

It would with a reasonably well-mannered woman, but one who sat there texting and talking on the phone when she knew the reason for requesting her to be there was to get her cooperation in correcting her son's bad behavior? I doubt that telling her no cellphone would accomplish anything but making her furious that she has nothing to do to pass the time but sit there while her son goes bananas. Or, she might well refuse to stay. What would be the point for her when her distraction was forbidden?

[B.M.]

You have my up most sympathies! I've dealt with similar situations, I assume/hope RTI/referring him out for help has begun.... Just know it could be worse.... And be thankful they at least sent him home (some schools wouldn't)....

[HollyH]

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this! I have a couple of thoughts.
1. If he physically hit you, threw chairs, etc, was an incident report filed? It's one thing that the administration knows, it's another to have documentation of this incident of assault against you by a student. If the administration balks at a written report, get your union involved.
2. IMO, he should not have been admitted back into the classroom without a behavior management plan, even an emergency one, to ensure the safety of all involved (you, your other students, and the student who is acting out). I would insist upon one, in writing, stating clearly that this is a safety concern for every child in the classroom.
3. Has the history of this student's behavior been documented (incident reports, etc)? Use that documentation to support your case. Be sure that you are documenting these incidents and share that documentation with administration.
4. Do you have Physical Management Training? Who in your building does? Ask for either the training or the support of someone who has it or both.

I am a teacher and I feel for you. I hope that you get the support and help with this student that you need.

[bsblady01]

if this is not the first time he has done this why has the school not stepped in and done something to prevent this if the school lets this slide again you need to go to the school board he is putting other students in danger I hope you get the answer you are looking for

[Her Dotness]

Originally Posted by bsblady01

if this is not the first time he has done this why has the school not stepped in and done something to prevent this if the school lets this slide again you need to go to the school board he is putting other students in danger I hope you get the answer you are looking for

"Need to go to the school board"? Weeelll, maybe. Doing so doesn't often cast a teacher in a good light at all for various reasons.

The reason I asked if either parent has school board connections or is a community big wheel is that either most likely gives that parent far more status and clout than Jackie would have.

My best friend was once forced out of her job--a tenured one, too--because the daughter of a school board member had just gotten her teaching degree and wanted my friend's job. She suddenly went from glowing reviews by both middle and high school principals to a series of extremely negative ones by the first-year high school principal (previously the vice-principal) and was fired for "poor performance." Of course, the fact that a beginning teacher would make $15,000-$20,000 less per year than my friend who had a Master's degree and nearly 25 years experience undoubtedly fueled her forceout, too.

I suspect Kentucky's laws and teacher unions don't protect veteran teachers much better than Kansas's did. Don't know that but am guessing based upon Kentucky's being a largely rural state as well.