Trouble behaving in school About This Page:

[mommapants]

I could use some pixies please. My 7 year old son is having a hard time behaving in school right now. Getting notes home every day because of his disruptive behavior.

He is crying at times and wants to come home which of course breaks my heart. I've been meeting with his teacher and the counselor and talking with other parents who have had similar issues. Tonight I'm meeting with the pediatrician.

I feel so lost and not sure how to help him. Punishment doesn’t seem to do much and rewards only worked for a week. I'm really hoping this is just a maturity issue but asked to have him evaluated by the child study team too.

Wish me luck and strength and the wisdom to find the best solution to help him (I feel like such a failure as a mom more like I failed him!)

[HiddenMickey]

Sounds like you are doing everything right at this point. Don't be hard on yourself. Pixies for you as you continue your look for answers.

[Cam22]

Sending and hugs for both of you.

[mamasann]

I'm glad you're talking with the pediatrician. He may have ADHD and it can be handled easily with meds. We put it off for a long time, but finally got the forms to complete and have the teachers complete. The results of our little quiz showed that it was exactly the problem with our DS. He's doing great now. Behavior way better, grades back up and will himself tell us that he's glad to be feeling "normal" again. Don't fret about it. After all, kids don't come with instruction manuals, so we do the best we can. And it sounds like you are on the right track. Now go give him a hug and give yourself a pat on the back for seeking help from school and doctors.

[JoanneS]

Can he tell you what he doesn't like about school? Is his behavior violent or mischievous?

My DS had a very difficult first year in school. He didn't get along with his teacher; she was just a bad fit for him. I think I had a note home from her almost every week until she left on Maternity leave. The substitute had no problem with him and everything got better once the original teacher left. Most of DS's problems were being silly, not paying attention, but he never did anything that hurt someone. He was mostly bored and feeling like an outcast, so he acted up a little.


The principal tried to help by calling my son into her office and telling him she wanted to help him behave better in class. To which he replied by putting his hand on her arm and saying, "Follow your dream." (Another note home from school)

Your not a bad Mom. Try to find out if other kids are giving him a hard time, or if he's not being engaged, or if he feels uncomfortable with the teacher. It will work out, just be patient.

[stardust190]

Oh dear! I had a similar situation, but I think I may have took the cowards way out. See Cameron was freaking out and crying about preschool and so I just un-enrolled him. Actually he made it physically impossible to get him buckled into the car so I kind of had to just take him out. But since he's only 3 and in preschool it wasn't a big deal. I fear that I might have a similar battle when he hits real school.

Has your son said anything about things bothering him at school? We tried to get Cameron to tell us what was up, but with him being 3 he couldn't express himself in a way we understood. I'd think that at 7 (at least I hope for my sanity that they pick up this skill by then) your son would be a little better at that. However, sometimes kids don't really know why they are acting up and what not.

It is likely just some kind of phase, but I know how stressful it can be. Just keep working with the teachers and what not. That's all you can do as a mom. Just paying attention to the fact that there is an issue is HUGE. So many parents just ignore that. You're a good mommy. You just have a little bump in the road right now.

[mcneal]

My heart goes out to you both. Being a mom is never easy - sometimes we just have no idea how to fix things. My DS is about to turn 21 and we have been thru many, many difficult times. He has a very creative mind and doesn't see the world the way the majority does. This created lots of issues throughout school. Asking for help (as you have done) is always a good step. I am sure you will find a solution. As long as you love and support you DS he will come out okay.

[TuffyCO]

Are you able to go to school with him for a day or two in order to observe (or send someone like grandma)? My DS (who is diagnosed as autistic, but was not at the time, but was suspected) was improving during his first year of pre-school and then the 2nd year started regressing and being sent home and not wanting to go to school. My mom happened to go visit for Valentine's Day and found out that there was another little boy that was hitting my DS multiple times during the class. The teachers even said that the child had "targeted" my son because my son gave a good reaction. I went in and observed and not only did the little boy hit or try to hit my son 20 times (I managed to block a few) in a 2 1/2 hour period, but the teachers did little or nothing about it and actually scolded my son for yelling "no, leave me alone!"

I'm not saying this is what is happening, but it could be something that is happening in the class, especially if your son has done well previously. It could be a bad fit with the teacher or could be a bullying issue the teacher is unaware of. If you can get your son to tell you what is bothering him may help.

Having two kids with varying levels of AD/HD, anxiety and autism, if your son has not had any signs/symptoms of this before I would rule out other causes before moving in that direction. If you have suspected any disabilities before this, then testing may be appropriate. But if this is new behavior, I would look at other areas first.

[dutchdisneyfamily]

to you both. It sounds like you are on the right track!

[Roxie2006]

No one is a failure who loves their child. It will all get worked out.

[Colexis Mom]

[Huntermom]

As the mother of two boys and a girl, I can tell you schools are much homier places for girls, Girls like lots of things that kids are required to do at school. M middle son struggled in school because of problems in school with organization and maturity. He was also very bright and easily bored. When he had a teacher who saw this (2nd grade) he was able to thrive. She allowed him and some other students to determine their own spelling words (he was spelling well by 4 and very phonetic), she taught him to use a bookmark (he was reading the same book for a long time and she discovered he had never used a book mark-he could finish a chapter book in one sitting at home but not in a 15 minute free read at school) and let him type because his fine motor control was poor. He went from resisting going to school to loving it. She also let him tag along with the gifted and talented teacher when she did science in other classes.

There are lots of reasons kids act out, not necessarily negative or reflective of our parenting. Keep doing what you are doing, make sure he has lots of outside activities where he can feel competent and love him for who he is.

[OhToodles!]

I'm so sorry Holly. I hope you are able to find the source and then a solution. I have no advice, just support.

[chezp]

[jlp879]

Keep your son and your sights in your prayers,

Even though it may seem short term, prayers for your son and hs teacher must be said.

Something will eventually get through to him.

I am just a few short years behind you. I have to believe that it will all come to good in the end. Keep hanging in there.