My nice kid is lying, what to do?? About This Page:

[Fortissimo]

Originally Posted by Teresa

But here's the thing: the teachers are NOT qualified to determine if it's ADD or something else. That takes a psychologist or psychiatrist. Ask your pediatrician for a referral to one. Do not let the pediatrician be the one to make the determination either. They're also not qualified.

I agree with Teresa. As a teacher I am not qualified to make a medical diagnoses. I can report the behaviors I see in my class, but I can't make a diagnosis. It never hurts to have your child evaluated for something that could be a medical situation.

[Pax]

Originally Posted by Fortissimo

As a middle school teacher, the first thing I do when a child is not turning in his or her homework is ask them why. Why are you not doing the work? Because you don't want to? Do you not understand something? Are you afraid of getting a bad grade? Or are you not making time for your hw? (playing video games, watching tv, etc.)

It's also possible the work just isn't challenging him enough, to be more than a tedious waste of time.

Or, that there's something going on at school, which homework reminds him of, and he would rather avoid thinking about (a bully, for example - or ... he's 11, maybe he's starting to notice girls, or even other boys, either of which could make an 11y.o. quite uncomfortable; the latter is less likely since you say he'd been doing it last year as well).

There are at least as many reasons for shirking homework, as there are kids on the planet. Probably more.

[GATechGal]

I'll throw my next 2 cents in here. Kids at this age are starting to stretch their wings. They sometimes feel that if they aren't interested in a subject, they shouldn't have to do it (my DS actually wrote something to that effect on a social studies test). So his picking up a book in class might have less to do with possible ADD and more to do with his lack of interest in the subject. I think that sounds like pretty typical middle schooler behavior.

[Starbright]

Thanks everyone
My ds does NOT like this teacher at all. Doesn't respect her. She is very old school and embarasses kids in front of other kids if she doesn't like something they are doing (we had this talk with her and tell her he doesn't respond to this type of teaching). He says he is bored in her class and that she talks on and on and doesn't allow them to take notes, and has her favourites in class which we have witnessed to. So I think this being a new school, a new community and a teacher that he doesn't like, hasn't helped much.
You are right...he is trying to spread his wings. He is more mature than other kids his age, and does notice girls. He is finally being more social too.
Been a tough yr trying to adjust to a new community for all of us in different ways.

[Pax]

Okay, your description of his teacher (a) makes his shirking completely understandable (though still wrong) ... and (b) makes me feel very, very irritated towards that teacher.

I had a teacher in 3rd grade who was like that; Mrs. Eliot. I hated her so much, that even today, if I were intoruced to her ... I would quite literally spit in her face. That school year was one of the most miserable, unhappy periods of my (quite troubled) childhood.

See, "embarrassing kids" for any reason, that's not "old school" that just plain bad teaching. Playing favorites is, too. And Mrs. Eliot did both - and I was never the favorite for anything but more humiliation.

It got so bad, that ... well, one day I spilled my milk at lunchtime. So badly, it puddled in the pencil-holder (this was a VERY old-fashioned lift-top desk, with a storage compartment inside it), and I didn't have enough napkins to clean it all out. I was so afraid of being mocked in front of the rest of the class, I didn't say anything to anyone about it. I just left the milk there (hey, I was eight years old; I never said I was particularly logical-minded at the time, ha!).

Inevitably, of course, it went sour. VERY sour. And still I said nothing; I was terrified of the verbal abuse Mrs. Eliot would have haped upon me, and the heartless teasing she would have permitted the rest of teh class to unleash upon me. Absolutely terrified.

And of course, eventually the smell alone led to the spill being discovered - maybe 5 or 6 weeks later. And everything I feared, of course, came true.

...

Teachers should not be actively embarassing their students for ANY reason, and especially not as some sort of twisted "disciplinary measure". Were I a parent with a child who had a teacher behaving that way? Iw ould be in teh main office demanding my child be assigned to a different classroom and a different teacher. And strongly suggesting that the employment status of the bad teacher be re-thought, as well ...!!