I feel like the worst step-mom ever (LONG rant) - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
Thank you to each of you who were a part of this community. You made it possible.
And a very special thank you to our Guides (moderators), past and present, who kept our forums a happy place to be. You are the glue that held everything together, and we are forever grateful to you. Thank you aliceinwdw, Caldercup, MrsM, WillCAD, Fortissimo, GingerJ, HiddenMickey, CRCrazy, Eeyoresmom, disneyknut, disneydani, Cam22, chezp, WDWfan, Luvsun, KMB733, rescuesk, OhToodles!, Colexis Mom, lfredsbo, HiddenMickey, DrDolphin, DopeyGirl, duck addict, Disneybine, PixieMichele, Sandra Bostwick, Eeyore Tattoo, DyanKJ130, Suzy Q'Disney, LilMarcieMouse, AllisonG, Belle*, Chrissi, Brant, DawnDenise, Crystalloubear, Disneymom9092, FanOfMickey, Goofy4Goofy, GoofyMom, Home4us123, iamgrumpy, ilovedisney247, Jennifer2003, Jenny Pooh, KrisLuvsDisney, Ladyt, Laughaholic88, LauraBelle Hime, Lilianna, LizardCop, Loobyoxlip, lukeandbrooksmom, marisag, michnash, MickeyMAC, OffKilter_Lynn, PamelaK, Poor_Eeyore, ripkensnana, RobDVC, SHEANA1226, Shell of the South, snoozin, Statelady01, Tara O'Hara, tigger22, Tink and Co., Tinkerbelz, WDWJAMBA, wdwlovers, Wendyismyname, whoSEZ, WildforWD, and WvuGrrrl. You made the magic.
We want to personally thank Sara Varney, who coordinated our community for many years (among so many other things she did for us), and Cheryl Pendry, our Message Board Manager who helped train our Guides, and Ginger Jabour, who helped us with the PassPorter-specific forums and Live! Guides. Thank you for your time, energy, and enthusiasm. You made it all happen.
There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.
So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
And we are no longer charging for the Live Guides. If you have a subscription, it's yours to keep for the lifetime of the Live Guides at no additional cost. The Live Guides will stay online, barring server issues and technical problems, for all of 2019.
That said, PassPorter is not going away. Most of the resources will remain online for as long as we can support them, and after that we will find ways to make whatever we can available. PassPorter means a great deal to us, and to many of you, and we will do our best to keep it alive in whatever way we can. Our server costs are high, and they'll need to come out of our pockets, so in the future you can expect some changes so we can bring those costs down.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing support over the years. Without you, there's no way us little guys could have made something like this happen and given the "big guys" a run for their money. PassPorter was consistently the #3 guidebook after the Unofficial and Official guides, which was really unheard of for such a small company to do. We ROCKED it thanks to you and your support and love!
If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.
So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!
Welcome! We're happy you've found the PassPorter Community -- the friendliest place to plan your vacation to Walt Disney World, Disney Cruise Line, Disneyland, and the world in general! You are now viewing the PassPorter Message Board Community as a guest, which gives you limited access. As our guest, feel free to browse our messages by selecting the forum you want to visit from the list below.
To post messages and ask questions, join our FREE community today and you'll get access to tools and resources not available to guests, such as our vacation countown timers, "living" avatars, private messaging system, database searches, downloads, and a special PassPorter discount code. Registration is fast, simple, and completely free. Just click the Join Our Community link.
If you think you've already joined, log in below now. If you don't remember your member name or password, please visit our Member Name and Password Recovery page. You are also welcome to contact us.
A little background: When I married DH almost 23 years ago, he had 2 kids (D - now 35, S - now 28). The kids have been nightmares as they got older. I tried to love them, as my step-mama loves me (she's the best!). Since they became adults, they've burned us repeatedly:
D - worked as a "dancer" and apparently as an "escort" - we had to bail her out of jail multiple times, and helped pay her legal bills and pay for her probation monitoring - all to the tune of about $20,000 over a 10 year period. She's never really had a "regular" job, and is forever in financial straits. I'm sure her Dad sends her more money than he lets on.
S - He's always stolen from us, every single time he's been in our home, since he was about 12. we set he and his wife (and their 2 little kids) up in a rental house we had just completely renovated. When they didn't pay rent after 6 months (we agreed they wouldn't for 3 months before that so they could get on their feet) - we evicted them, we "sold" them my favorite car, on time - and they never made a payment - we took it back. The house was trashed (dirty pictures painted on the walls, food ground into the brand-new carpets, all the furniture and appliances gone, doors broken, holes in the walls, "doobies" left on the floor, etc.) and the car was too (dirty, cigarette burns, "doobie" in the ashtray). To fix the house up, we had to spend over $12,000, plus the car had another $6,000 of repair. The whole time they were here, we supported them - we kept getting friends who owned businesses to give S a job. He kept not showing up, etc. We know he's been dealing in "weed", and just heard from others this past week he's upped the ante and moved on to bigger things. They've "borrowed" money so much, we just write them a letter at Christmas, telling them their debt is forgiven. But, then we have to give the sister 1/2 of the difference between what she borrowed and what he borrowed (he has 4 people he's supporting - she only has her and her bf).
So, the step-son has the 2 kids. I call them the Half-Wild, Half-Indians (his wife is part of the Cherokee nation - and before anyone gets upset - I am 1/4 Indian - and actually more Indian than step-son's wife). Anyway - the kids: we last had them over the summer 2 years ago. They were 6&7 years old. They didn't know what toilet paper was. They had never sat at a table to eat, except at school. They thought the way to get what they wanted was to demand it, cuss at me, and then hit. They didn't like to bathe - because they said they never really did (I could believe it too, they turned the bath water black over and over and over the first day). They weren't nice to our animals. They just weren't very civilized.
DH wants to get them this summer. To say DDs and I are thrilled would be a VAST overstatement. We finally (reluctantly) agreed because we all love DH, and then we made arrangements to meet Step-son half-way between our homes in Rolla, Mo. On SATURDAY. We also agreed we'd PAY them to get their kids - we're paying their gas to and from ROLLA, feeding them, and giving them a little money.
That's the background - here's what's happening: S just called. They decided to leave a little early, because there might be fun and interesting things to see and do in between Vian, OK, and Rolla. Okay - there are. BUT - they're already in ROLLA. It's WEDNESDAY. Now, they're offering to bring the kids on through. That I don't mind, since I really am not looking forward to a 6 hour drive after a 12 hour shift!
Problem is: I KNOW they're going to expect us to let them stay here. At the least, they'll expect to be put up. They'll definitely expect us to feed them. They will probably expect us to pay for a hotel if they stop tonight. NO-ONE in the family wants them in their home. No-One. DH and my entire families (except his kids) live within 40 miles of us. Not one of them will put him and his wife up.
I just feel so bad telling DH his son isn't staying at my house. He says he feels the same way, but I still feel bad. I hate that I just can't love the son, but he's not lovable.
Registered Message Board Members Get Our Free Newsletter! When you register you'll have the option to sign up for our weekly PassPorter Newsletter. It's chock-full of feature articles; news; tips; contests; photos; and special offers in our online store.
Wow. What a story. I don't blame you for feeling as you do; I feel sorry for those children.
__________________
First trip DW--Nov. 1975; Senior Class Trip DW--Oct. 1979; First trip w/kids--Oct. 1995; Halloween at DW--Oct. 2002; Spring Break at DW--April 2004; Christmas/Pop Warner Nationals-POR--Dec. 2005;Cruisin'--April 2008; Mom/Son trip-POP--March 2010;Taggin' along w/DD on DH's conference-BWI--Oct. 2011; 50th birthday with the Gartner Geeks--Adults only!--BWI--Oct. 2012; The Trip That Almost Wasn't--BWI--Oct. 2013; We climbed The Summit (National Cheer Competition)--ASMovies--May 2014
Registered Message Board Members save 30% off PassPorter guidebooks! When you register you'll have access to a discount coupon good for 30% off the list price of PassPorter books in our online store.
Teresa, you are GRACIOUSLY offering to host his children so you are a good step-mom. HE is not a good step-son. You have to keep your own family safe and secure. Your DH agrees so you guys can stand united. I might suggest that maybe some of his old friends might want to have them. (ha ha). Good luck.
Wow! If you do the hotel stay, pay in cash, as your credit card would be charged if there are damages, hotel charges, etc.
Great idea! Thanks.
Here's an update: They ARE bringing the kids on through. I offered to meet them in St. Louis tomorrow, since I don't work then - but I do have a 12 hour shift Friday Morning. I even offered to meet them there tonight (it's about a 4 hour drive). They said "No, we want to come on forward". They can't pay for a hotel until we give them gas money.
What on earth were these people thinking??? They're on the road, with 2 kids, and very little money. Of course, they're the same ones who moved to Roswell, New Mexico last year, with no jobs, no nothing, because "It's a tourist town, there have to be jobs there" and lived in a tent for 4 months. They have moved back to Oklahoma since.
OMG! I can picture these kids. I am a teacher in an urban school, and some of our student population is made up of kids like you describe. I often say how I feel sorry for them, because they don't have parents who love them enough to take care of them. I am sure they are wild and non-compliant and hard to reason with. I really feel for you.
I think the best you can hope for is to pay for a hotel for one night and send the parents on their way. During the visit with the kids, just try to be loving but firm. Rules/structure are important, but remember the kids have never had any of that.
Best of luck to you. You are not an evil step-mom. You are being protective of your family and your home.
OMG! I can picture these kids. I am a teacher in an urban school, and some of our student population is made up of kids like you describe. I often say how I feel sorry for them, because they don't have parents who love them enough to take care of them. I am sure they are wild and non-compliant and hard to reason with. I really feel for you.
I think the best you can hope for is to pay for a hotel for one night and send the parents on their way. During the visit with the kids, just try to be loving but firm. Rules/structure are important, but remember the kids have never had any of that.
Best of luck to you. You are not an evil step-mom. You are being protective of your family and your home.
Thanks for the advice. We're thinking of sending them to day-camp while they're here. It's the only time we could get their parents to agree to let them come, but DH and I have to work quite a bit of it (I have weekends off, he has Sun-Mon off). Dh is taking some vacation time, though.
You are not the worst step-mom. You are a good step-mom for taking the kids for the summer. One thing that caught my eye in your original post though, is that he has "upped the ante" regarding illegal substances. Someone needs to intervene and get those kids away from the "parents" ASAP. I don't necessarily mean you and your dh, but someone. I speak from experience when I tell you that the kids deserve much better than what they have currently.
Wow, Teresa. I truly have no words of wisdom but just to say that you are being amazing and patient grandparents to those children. The children are the ones who need you most and need to see what it is like to be in family that has rules, structure, love, care etc. You are giving that to them and they may remember how much they liked it the last time they were there. Maybe this summer it won't be quite as hard to get them to switch over.
I think you are amazing with all that you have to deal with and good luck!!! Sending tons of pixies!
WDW - August 1997 Off Property
WDW - January 2005 AKL
WDW - May 2006 Pop Century
WDW- november-dec 2007 pop century
WDW- dec/jan 2009/2010 pop century
WDW- oct/nov 2012 art of animation
WDW- sept 2013 port Orleans riverside
WDW- july 2015 beach club
About This Page: 
Like
Thank
Pixie Dust
]Read all about our Disney Experiences on the Williams Family Blog: 
Linear Mode
