As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
Thank you to each of you who were a part of this community. You made it possible.
And a very special thank you to our Guides (moderators), past and present, who kept our forums a happy place to be. You are the glue that held everything together, and we are forever grateful to you. Thank you aliceinwdw, Caldercup, MrsM, WillCAD, Fortissimo, GingerJ, HiddenMickey, CRCrazy, Eeyoresmom, disneyknut, disneydani, Cam22, chezp, WDWfan, Luvsun, KMB733, rescuesk, OhToodles!, Colexis Mom, lfredsbo, HiddenMickey, DrDolphin, DopeyGirl, duck addict, Disneybine, PixieMichele, Sandra Bostwick, Eeyore Tattoo, DyanKJ130, Suzy Q'Disney, LilMarcieMouse, AllisonG, Belle*, Chrissi, Brant, DawnDenise, Crystalloubear, Disneymom9092, FanOfMickey, Goofy4Goofy, GoofyMom, Home4us123, iamgrumpy, ilovedisney247, Jennifer2003, Jenny Pooh, KrisLuvsDisney, Ladyt, Laughaholic88, LauraBelle Hime, Lilianna, LizardCop, Loobyoxlip, lukeandbrooksmom, marisag, michnash, MickeyMAC, OffKilter_Lynn, PamelaK, Poor_Eeyore, ripkensnana, RobDVC, SHEANA1226, Shell of the South, snoozin, Statelady01, Tara O'Hara, tigger22, Tink and Co., Tinkerbelz, WDWJAMBA, wdwlovers, Wendyismyname, whoSEZ, WildforWD, and WvuGrrrl. You made the magic.
We want to personally thank Sara Varney, who coordinated our community for many years (among so many other things she did for us), and Cheryl Pendry, our Message Board Manager who helped train our Guides, and Ginger Jabour, who helped us with the PassPorter-specific forums and Live! Guides. Thank you for your time, energy, and enthusiasm. You made it all happen.
There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.
So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
And we are no longer charging for the Live Guides. If you have a subscription, it's yours to keep for the lifetime of the Live Guides at no additional cost. The Live Guides will stay online, barring server issues and technical problems, for all of 2019.
That said, PassPorter is not going away. Most of the resources will remain online for as long as we can support them, and after that we will find ways to make whatever we can available. PassPorter means a great deal to us, and to many of you, and we will do our best to keep it alive in whatever way we can. Our server costs are high, and they'll need to come out of our pockets, so in the future you can expect some changes so we can bring those costs down.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing support over the years. Without you, there's no way us little guys could have made something like this happen and given the "big guys" a run for their money. PassPorter was consistently the #3 guidebook after the Unofficial and Official guides, which was really unheard of for such a small company to do. We ROCKED it thanks to you and your support and love!
If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.
So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!
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As a divorce attorney I have seen men leave when an additional child is born that may not have otherwise left, if they do not feel their opinion was resepected about whether or not to have another child. I also think for some men, it may just be the straw that breaks the camel's back, especially if they are the main bread winner and have the burden of supporting another child.
I also represent lots of children. Children shold not be born to fulfill someone else's needs. They often do not do it and it can a burden for the child.
The OP should have lots to think about. I think the most important factor is the impact it will have on her other children-not financially, but emotionally. Children's needs for material things are much less than their needs for the attention of the adults in their lives,
Does this family have the time and emotional energy for a fourth child? Will the older children's needs be met if there is an infant in the household. I do not think the standard is that the children are not neglected but that they have parents available to nurture and raise them to the best of each child's potential.
As a divorce attorney I have seen men leave when an additional child is born that may not have otherwise left, if they do not feel their opinion was resepected about whether or not to have another child. I also think for some men, it may just be the straw that breaks the camel's back, especially if they are the main bread winner and have the burden of supporting another child.
I also represent lots of children. Children shold not be born to fulfill someone else's needs. They often do not do it and it can a burden for the child.
The OP should have lots to think about. I think the most important factor is the impact it will have on her other children-not financially, but emotionally. Children's needs for material things are much less than their needs for the attention of the adults in their lives,
Does this family have the time and emotional energy for a fourth child? Will the older children's needs be met if there is an infant in the household. I do not think the standard is that the children are not neglected but that they have parents available to nurture and raise them to the best of each child's potential.
I can imagine that you have seen a lot! Well said, I have seen the same. "Once awesome does not mean always awesome" I think you grasped what DisneyDana and I were trying to convey. Well said (or written)
this thread is getting off topic. Only OP and her DH can decide if he wants another child. And I'm sure, Huntermom you see a lot of tragic stories. But a man who leaves because another child is born would have done the same thing once responsibility got to be too much. Whether that is job loss, an illness, a death etc. All of us are one step from divorce court. I've seen marriages end when a child was hurt or killed. Marriages that I thought were strong. If we always take into consideration "what ifs" no one would ever have a family.
Don't want to beat a dead horse. I agree. Men and women sometimes will leave whenever the responsibility gets to be too much. Sometimes that's another child (I've even seen it with a second child). It really is up to the OP and her husband equally. And while people on this board can give opinions and maybe provoke the OP to see things from different perspectives, only she and her husband can make that decision.
I also don't think some couples are doomed for divorce under any circumstances. Sometimes things happen that are just too much for their relationship (your example is perfect and pretty common). Neither is a bad person and the marriage may have been pretty good. My only point is that both parents need to want the child, not one giving in to the other.
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Last edited by Huntermom; 04-28-2010 at 04:46 PM..
You mentioned having an odd number doesn't always work. I TOTALLY agree. That's why I only have two! If I'd had 3, then I would have had to have 4 for the exact same reason! And since, for us, 4 really WASN'T an option, 2 was a good number! Not to mention I had many, many problems getting and carrying my second ds, but that's a whole other discussion! Also, it sounds to me like you have pretty much decided you and your dh DO want another child. So, are you perhaps looking for others to agree with your decision? Since you have other large families in your extended family, do you know why anyone would be against one more? Is it an economic issue or perhaps they feel your children you currently have are stretching you as emotionally far as you can be stretched? Or is it just their personal opinion?
Now, as for going back to school as well as having four kiddos, here's my thoughts: WOW! I can honestly say I don't think I could do it. That doesn't mean YOU couldn't do it. But just look at it very clearly and know what you are getting in to. A new baby means SLEEP DEPRIVATION! My feeble brain doesn't always work so well on 8 hours of sleep! I don't know if I could function as a full time, stay at home mom with an infant and 3 older active kiddos, plus a husband, plus minimal sleep AND go back to school, even doing online courses. But that's just me. We always have high hopes, but reality can sometimes be a very differnt thing.
As someone else mentioned, kids get more expensive as they grow up, too! That is all too true!! My oldest is musical and trust me, paying for a new violin every year or two (b/c it is necessary as they get better and better), paying for symphony, paying for lessons, paying for school stuff (schools pay basically nothing these days and the continual fundraisers are killers!), paying for cars, insurance, medical bills (we just dropped $5200 for braces!), etc just goes up and up as they get older. And it isn't just if they are musical. Sports stuff can be even more expensive! That's just something to keep in mind. But in the end, it comes down to what you feel in your heart. If you feel you can make it work and it is something you and dh both want, then go for it! You sound like a great mother and I'm sure you would always manage to make it work. Good luck with whatever decision you make!
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Hey again everyone.... I only have a few quick mins here but I did just want to address one concern - about DH's feelings about the situation. He is totally onboard! I know I stated that he doesn't always seem to have a lot of patience - but I guess I mean he doesn't have a lot of patience compared to me. I have always had a lot of patience with my children (well all children in general) and so at times I just wish he was a little more tolerable than me. But this could also just be the difference between "mom" and "dad." I remember when I was growing up as a child my mother always seemed to be more patient and sympathetic than my father. Maybe its just a man/woman thing?
To all of you- thanks for ALL of your comments - I hope to respond to more later this evening when I have more time! For now, gotta run!
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"With kids the days are long - but the years are short."
Mother of one checking in. I say do whatever, I read a lot of mommy blogs with 4 children and it's great, there's a lot of talk of the personality of "the fourth child"---they are all homeschoolers, I admire their dedication to their family. Jimmy and I were watching The Secret of NIMH yesterday and Mrs. Brisby had four, it looked very "homey" to me.
No one ever asked me if I was going to have any kids when I didn't have any. Now that I have one (dh wants to keep it this way) everyone is always asking/telling me if/when I'm having more, as though having just one doesn't make a family, and I find it kind of insulting! As for being a family of 5, I am the third of 3 kids and I've never been uncomfortable with the uneven number---but we never went on vacation either. GL with your decisions/future.
My advice is just to follow your heart and not your head. I'm a great believer in 'if its meant to happen it will'. My oldest DD is 7 and I wanted 2 kids for sure but didn't want to rule out 3. I also wanted them close together. When DD was 2 we found out I was pregnant again and were ecstatic. Unfortunately DD#2 was stillborn when i was 7 months pregnant. DH and I then went through a whole rollercoaster of wanting another baby then being against it. I wanted one when he didn't and he did when i didn't. We couldn't decide when to start planning and there were so many reasons both for and against it. In the end we put it in the hands of fate and decided to not prevent anything from happening. We ended up with DD3. Being pregnant was a scary time but she really is a (naughty) blessing.
As you posted that it is something that both your DH and yourself are all for, you should just go ahead and let it happen.
I believe the first child is the biggest challenge of all. Once you can manage one, I think you adapt to fit in and nurture any number. (Our lord never gives anymore than we can handle). My DH never wanted more than two (I never wanted any-lol) and I really struggled to convince him I 'needed' to try for a third. He gave in and we have an adorable and lively 4 yr old with a 6.5yr gap. I will probably die wondering if I should have stopped at two. I love them all equally and they are well provided for but the costs spent on raising our youngest maybe should have been set aside to gift to the elder children when they left home or got married. I'll ponder this forever...
As long as you and DH agree then who cares about anyone else? (It's not them getting up at 3am...) Best wishes.
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