Family Christmas Get Together question - Page 3 - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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I would do something like what Chrissi does, in your place.
I'd bring a plate of whatever things Abby likes all made up and covered , then heat in microwave at their house and place it in front of her, when everyone sits down. That way, she gets the things she likes and no one can take any of what she has since it's on her plate.
I don't know why Lenny insists you all go. Does he enjoy it? Does he think things will miraculously change? I would really push him into finding something else to do that day.
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I would try to accomodate others dietary concerns, within reason. Abby's seems simple enough and I would make sure I had something there.
I'm not sure how old Abby is. You might try putting her food in a container that's decorated for a child. I've seen snack-sized snap-top boxes with Disney characters at both Wal-Mart and the Disney store. They probably have larger containers also. What I'm thinking is that if her food was in a container that obviously belongs to a child, maybe people would feel more hesitant about eating "her special food".
I'm sympathetic about the eating issues. We're lucky with my Aspergers son that he doesn't have texture issues and will therefore eat pretty much anything. He has his own set of issues, but eating isn't one we have to deal with! I know that must get very frustrating at times!
__________________
DD and DS, May 2008
"I am purple today; Bright and happy like a butterfly in the air." -Kira Willey
I always ask if there are any dietary concerns, always!, and make something appropriate for that person(s) to eat. I can't believe relatives wouldn't make that consideration for Abby. But it sounds like they're not the most considerate people.
This year I would bring a full meal (not just rolls) only for Abby, and something else for everyone to share.
I don't know why Lenny insists you all go. Does he enjoy it? Does he think things will miraculously change? I would really push him into finding something else to do that day.
I am sure Lenny is in between a rock and a hard place too. He does not wish to insult any of his family and it can be very difficult to address the issue, especially when it involves parents.
We have had issues with MiL, in that she is very nice to me when DH is around, but as soon as he leaves the room, Malifecent comes out. I endured it for as long as I could and finally told him in no uncertain terms that I would no longer endure abuse from her, nor would my kids be exposed to it. (She also has substance abuse issues and we had to stop her from seeing the kids because she was enbibing around them...and not just alcohol.) After Tom understood what I was dealing with, he agreed to limit the amount of time we spend with her...our vacations are no longer marred by her attitude; BUT I made him explain to her why we would not spend more than a day with her and we always stay in a hotel instead of with her. Her answer was, it was her life, she would do what she wanted and that if I hadn't kept him from seeing her (which is untrue) she wouldn't lash out at me. He told her to grow up and act like the grandma she professes she wants to be. And there we stand...
As hurtful as it may be sometimes you have to take a stand. However, it looks like you have an easier fix to the issue by bringing Abby's food in a lunch box as well as a dish for everyone. Some people were never taught how to be gracious host/hostesses and you won't be able to teach them now. I would have Lenny explain the situation to them and let them know that if things don't change you all may have to make your own traditions from now on. I applaud you for your forebearance and graciousness...I would have blown my gasket a long time ago!
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DD and DS, May 2008
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