Decision Pixies needed About This Page:

[Teresa]

DD Lauren has a hard decision to make - where to go to university. When she decided where to apply, it was easy. She KNEW where she was going if they accepted her. She's been accepted to 4 schools (she applied to 4) - and there are other factors that are making it hard to decide. 2 universities are in SD, 1 in TN, and 1 in IN.
She knows her decision will determine the course of her life. Heavy stuff for an almost-18-year-old.
She also knows (partly because I told her), that every single decision adults make in their lives comes with a "What if?" - What if I'd taken x class and not y? What if I'd met that person and not this one? What if I'd accepted that instead of this one? What if I'd turned that person down? What if I'd adopted that white dog and not the black one (okay - maybe only I think that)?

Can you send some pixies? I know she's not the only kid facing this issue right now, but she's the only one I've got facing it.

[Cam22]

College deciding on the way!

[MelissaL]

Best wishes to Lauren on her decision! My son is about to face a similar choice. I keep telling him that although it has is true that college can change his life, it is also true that he could have a great life no matter which college he chooses.

I think occasionally about what would be different if I had chosen a different college or a different major or a different summer job or a different place to live after graduation. I keep coming back to the realization that I don't know, and I can't know, but as long as I am happy now, it does not matter.

Many pixies!
Melissa

[joelsmom]

First, congratulations to your daughter on being accepted at all four schools. That's just terrific. As a resident of Tennessee, I highly recommend the Volunteer State . Seriously, many, many for Lauren. It really is a big decision for one still so young. Best wishes to her, whatever she decides.

[chezp]

[Luvsun]

[Hugmonster]

My only advice is which school is best for her major and her other interests?

[MayraLR]

[Pris]

Originally Posted by MelissaL

Best wishes to Lauren on her decision! My son is about to face a similar choice. I keep telling him that although it has is true that college can change his life, it is also true that he could have a great life no matter which college he chooses.

I think occasionally about what would be different if I had chosen a different college or a different major or a different summer job or a different place to live after graduation. I keep coming back to the realization that I don't know, and I can't know, but as long as I am happy now, it does not matter.

Many pixies!
Melissa

I think this says it so well. We all have those forks in the road and decisions around us, and choosing the college to attend is certainly a major one. I would assume that all offer the programs she wants and are good. In the long haul, it is not which one she attends, but what she does to make that decision the best one for her.

[GingerJ]

As others have said, it's a big decision but maybe not as huge as she's thinking. She'll do well wherever she goes, and she can transfer if she just hates it.

Don't be paralyzed by how crucial this decision is; it's just one of many, and worrying about what-ifs is a good way to wish your life away and not appreciate what you have.

I would personally rule out SD as I hate, hate, hate cold weather and snow, but it must be okay for her, or she wouldn't have applied there. Also, it's VERY VERY expensive to fly to and from SD, so she won't be coming home very often.

I'd advise her, if she's really torn, and all are acceptable, to look at it this way:

--Which is a better financial deal? Years of debt after college are more life-changing (in a bad way) than the actual college you choose, regardless of how much you think you'll earn afterward. Be sure to consider how much it will cost to travel to the more distant schools. Scholarships and financial aid generally don't cover travel costs.

--Which is best respected for her major, as well as having other related or unrelated options in case she changes her mind, as many but not all college students do?

--Which is located near where she'd eventually want to live or work?

[GingerJ]

One more suggestion:

When I was faced with a major choice (whether to go from active duty into the Reserves), I sat down with a legal pad and a pen and started writing down the pros and cons of each choice. Before too long, I saw that I already knew which was the right choice, as my responses kept getting longer and more detailed.

Just writing it all down can help you clarify both what makes sense and where your heart lies.

[Terrio]

[Ashli]

for your daughter, but ultimately:

Originally Posted by GingerJ

As others have said, it's a big decision but maybe not as huge as she's thinking. She'll do well wherever she goes, and she can transfer if she just hates it.

I went out to San Diego for my freshman year of college (from FL). I was so excited and thought that I was 100% sure that's where I wanted to be and would love it (shows what I knew at 17 ). (I had spent the previous five summer vacations spending 4+ weeks each summer with my aunt in the SD area, so it was not unfamiliar to me.) Well, let's just say I figured out real fast that I am NOT a California Girl, and after that first year I transferred back to USF in Tampa and graduated from there. It wasn't about "going home", because my parents had actually moved to Ohio during the year I was in CA. It's just about where I fit in and where I didn't. Very few things we do in our lives are absolute "this cannot be changed even if it makes you miserable" kind of things. Please make sure your daughter knows that and doesn't stress herself out too much over this decision.

[JackieB]

[feonag]

Of course the decisions you make shape your life but I look at it differently. I see it as if you follow your gut then that's the way it was supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason even if you cant see it right away. I go more on what feels right to me. If you focus on all of the "what ifs" then you drive yourself crazy. As others have said, nothing is permanent. If your daughter doesn't "fit" where she goes then there are other schools. Good luck.