As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
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There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
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Moving on with the current of the years.
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It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
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So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
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My DD would like to have a friend come along on our beach vacation this summer. For those of you who've done this or even if you haven't, I'm wondering about who pays for what? For me to pick the whole tab; airfare, meals, etc. would be a bit pricey so any tips and advice here would be great.
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We have always paid the entire cost-the other child is a guest and should not be expected to pay. When DD took a friend to WDW and Universal, her friend's mother gave me $300.00 towards the cost of the trip, which I accepted.
When my DD was a senior in high school, a friend invited her to join her for a trip to Disney. It was just the girls. DD's friend's family donated their DVC points and DD also fly stand-by but other than that each girl paid her own costs.
I would expect the other child to pay his/her own airfare and have his/her own spending money. I would say that meals and lodging are paid by you. If you are planning on going somewhere that requires tickets, I would also pay for those (unless it is Disney and they are going there specifically to go to Disney, that would be the other child's responsibility.)
When I was younger I'd go on vacation with a friend all the time - either my parents would take her on vacation with us or I'd go on vacation with her and her family. It was always done the same way: Airfare, hotel (if applicable), and spending money was paid by everyone themselves. Food and admission fees for parks or whatever was paid by the family.
We've yet to take a guest that wasn't close family on a trip, but we've fully paid (except gas in a separate car) for family that we have invited places. When my sister and I would bring guests along on family trips when we were younger, Mom always paid the whole shebang, except spending money of course.
My mom did have one family (daughter, mom, grandmother) invite my sister to accompany their daughter on their vacation, and when my mom agreed, they handed her an itemized list of expenses. They expected her to pay her way in everything, all of her own meals - the list had everything spelled out, right down to her 1/4 "share" of the hotel room and estimated meal tips, etc. They even included an estimated 1/4 "share" of the gasoline budget, but said they would save receipts to add up when they got home and Mom could just pay them back . It was incredibly tacky (these people are FAR from hard-up for money), and Mom really wanted to tell them so, but didn't want to disappoint my sister.
Now if the family is flying to the destination, I think asking the child you're inviting to purchase their own airfare, along with bringing their own spending money, would be fine. If the parent offered to contribute more, letting them pay for the extra attraction admission and the like could even be acceptable. I couldn't bring myself to ask for more than that, personally.
Well, if we invited the friend to dinner, we'd pay.
If we invited her to the local amusement park for the day, we'd pay.
I'm not sure that a vacation is any different in concept -- it's just the price point.
I wouldn't invite a friend to go along unless I could pay her way.
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Carolyn
Last edited by Carousel96; 04-02-2012 at 09:39 AM..
wow, this is a tough one! I remember in high school my best friend came with us and her parents just gave my mom a total amount to "help" with costs. We drove so airfare wasn't involved but my mom never would've taken money for gas or lodging. It was a tough situation for my mom (now that I look back) because we kind of ambushed her last minute with the idea of my friend coming. My mom wasn't in any financial situation to pay for another kid.
If one of my girls were invited to go along I would give money to help. Unfortunately I couldn't completely pay for another kid to go with us on a vacation. It is tough enough to go on a great vacation with my family of 6!
Well, if we invited the friend to dinner, we'd pay.
If we invited her to the local amusement park for the day, we'd pay.
I'm not sure that a vacation is any different in concept -- it's just the price point.
I wouldn't invite a friend to go along unless I could pay her way.
That's how we feel about it as well. If we wanted to let a child come with us but we couldn't afford to cover all of it ourselves then I might would approach the parents about it before mentioning it to either child. Something like "My daughter would love your child to join us, and we'd love to have her along, but I can only cover this much of this total cost." Now, if the parent came to me and said 'my daughter heard you were going and she'd love to go along' I can see handing her a bill. (Well, I can see me laughing and shaking my head, but you know what I mean.)
Now, if we invite family to join us to stay at our timeshare they know that we cover that and they have to take care of themselves for the rest of it, but that's a bit different.
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When I was in high school (lo, those many years ago!), a friend invited me to go to Florida (not Disney) with her and her family for spring break. When her parents extended the invitation, they made clear (in a nice way) that my parents would need to pay for my airfare and they would pay for everything else.
That seemed fair to us, and, of course, my parents sent me with my own spending money. But my friend's parents paid for meals, lodging, etc.
I think if you make the invitation contingent upon the friend paying her own airfare (or whatever portion of the trip seems feasible to you), then you can manage everyone's expectations from the start and she can choose to accept that offer or not.
My advice is what ever ends up happening, please make sure everyone is on board with what was agree'd upon. And then once that is established, don't speak to or in front of the kids to discuss how they/we should have done this and should have done that since what was agree'd upon wasn't enough for the hosting/inviting family after everything was agree'd and done.
My DD was invited by a friend's family to go to France with them for two weeks. We agree'd that we would send DD with $100/per day in cash for spending money and help with food since most of their meals were going to be done (cooked by family in kitchen) at the place they were renting from or "family style" when dining out. We also agree'd that we would pay our DD's airfare as that wasn't very cheap for roundtrip tickets to France. Well that was all good until they were actually on the trip. The mother demanded DD give her all her cash since they didn't budget well before they left. DD was left feeling miserable most of the time as the mother complained most of the trip about the costs. DD wanted to come home after the third day. So sad to hear your baby cry to you on the phone and you can't be there for her since she was literally on the other side of the world.
Granted they had never been to France before and they were a family of 11 before DD, so 12 total. But neither had we and we felt nearly $3,000 for two weeks in spending money was plenty for a 17 year old. DD didn't stay in a seperate room so the cost of that would have been there whether she was there or not, same with rental car, etc. Since they decided ahead of time to eat most of their meals by going to the local markets and buying like at a grocery store and cooking most of their meals back at the lodge, the expense there would be minimal.
Well, if we invited the friend to dinner, we'd pay.
If we invited her to the local amusement park for the day, we'd pay.
I'm not sure that a vacation is any different in concept -- it's just the price point.
I wouldn't invite a friend to go along unless I could pay her way.
Personally, this would be my plan as well...if I can't pay, I don't invite another to join us. The "guest" should provide her own pocket money for souveniers, though. However, I'm sure opinions vary on the topic.
You don't indicate how old the girls are or what your opinion is of the other family's ability to pay. That could definitely impact. If you know the other family doesn't have money for this kind of trip - definitely don't invite unless you can cover it. Even if you "think" the other family has money, you never know what their actual financial situation is and a vacation may be out of the question in the time period you are planning, even if you are of the impression they have "good" jobs and can afford it. You never know what hidden expenses some families have.
Now, if the girls have cooked up this idea on their own...you might approach the other family such that "we've been considering a vacation and I understand your daughter would love to go...we'd be glad to have her join us but she would need to pay X plus her spending money."
My son is getting close to the age where he will be asking friends to go on vacation with us. So far the only guest we have taken on a trip where we flew was my cousin when she was 14 and I when I asked her mom if she could come I said we would pay for everything except spending money for souvenirs that she may want. That is the way I would handle it for anyone invited as a guest on a trip.
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It was incredibly tacky (these people are FAR from hard-up for money), and Mom really wanted to tell them so, but didn't want to disappoint my sister. 
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